Weekend Humor

A MAN'S TRANSLATIONS!

These translations are for all of you wonderful ladies out there, so that you will know what we really mean when we say...

1. "IT'S JUST A GUY THING"

Translation: "There is no rational thought pattern connected with it and you have no chance at all of making it logical."

2. "CAN I HELP WITH DINNER?"

Translation: "How come it isn't already on the table?"

3. "UH, HUH?" "SURE, HONEY." OR "YES, DEAR."

Translation: Absolutely nothing. It's a conditioned response.

4. "IT WOULD TAKE TOO LONG TO EXPLAIN."

Translation: "I have no clue how it works."

5. "TAKE A BREAK, BABY. YOU'RE WORKING TOO HARD."

"Translation: "I can't hear the game over the vacuum cleaner."

6. "THAT'S INTERESTING, DEAR."

Translation: "Are you still talking?"

7. "YOU KNOW HOW BAD MY MEMORY IS."

Translation: "I remember the theme song to 'F Troop,' the address of the first girl I ever kissed, and the vehicle identification numbers of every car I've ever owned... but I forgot your birthday."

8. "OH, IT'S ALL GOOD. I JUST CUT MYSELF. IT'S NO BIG DEAL."

"Translation: "I have actually severed a limb, but damn it... I'll bleed to death before I admit that I'm hurt!"

9. "HEY, I'VE GOT MY REASONS FOR WHAT I'M DOING."

Translation: "And, I sure hope I can think of some pretty soon."

10. "I CAN'T FIND IT."

Translation: "It didn't fall into my outstretched hands, so I'm completely clueless."

11. "WHAT DID I DO THIS TIME?"

Translation: "What did you catch me at?"

12. "I'M NOT LOST. I KNOW EXACTLY WHERE WE ARE."

Translation: "No one will ever see us alive again."

13. "WE SHARE THE HOUSEWORK."

Translation: "I make the messes; she cleans them up."

Have a great weekend everyone!