tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5623792489158195598.post7111313175718673351..comments2024-01-31T10:41:53.074-05:00Comments on Keith's Space: Optimistic Compared To What?Keithhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17325582825431855883noreply@blogger.comBlogger25125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5623792489158195598.post-51588750405631301412008-12-02T16:01:00.000-05:002008-12-02T16:01:00.000-05:00There is no telling what goes on behind closed doo...There is no telling what goes on behind closed doors. All that sparkles isn't always gold. I am guessing that since this woman is actively looking for a man that is 'bringing something to the table' she may have dismissed those that were interested but did not look good on paper and inadvertently repelled those men of her class that may have eerily felt as if they were meal tickets.Kofi Bofahhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06525557832900245785noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5623792489158195598.post-2507133680503147442008-12-02T12:00:00.000-05:002008-12-02T12:00:00.000-05:00I recently "hung out" with a guy who is legally se...I recently "hung out" with a guy who is legally separated from his second marriage. Though he has been unfortunate in the love department, he did not hesitate to want me as his third wife. Well, he didn't say it like that. He told me "I wish you were my wife." <BR/><BR/>I say that to say, not all divorced men run from commitments. Some of them really want to find what they feel they've missed previously. I truly think it's about finding a connection. No matter who he is or what he has. It's not settling, it's being real.<BR/><BR/>Though I choose not to date any previously married men or men that have stepped into fatherhood, I understand that it is just that: a choice. Those are the two things I am not willing to settle on.<BR/><BR/>Now, on the flip side, I will date a jobless, carless, moneyless man in a heartbeat AS LONG AS he has aspirations. I am more attracted to a persons goals in life, where he sees himself rather than where he is. We all have to start from somewhere.<BR/><BR/>I lost my point somewhere along the way, but ummmm, I enjoyed the post.<BR/><BR/>Thanks for dropping by my blog. It is crazy how we had the same experience in the AF.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5623792489158195598.post-65554406039581674362008-12-01T21:59:00.000-05:002008-12-01T21:59:00.000-05:00DOPE BLOG!!!DOPE BLOG!!!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5623792489158195598.post-52979082466734783812008-12-01T18:11:00.000-05:002008-12-01T18:11:00.000-05:00Again, you always have great posts... Really. I li...Again, you always have great posts... Really. I like coming over to your spot, because you always make me think.<BR/><BR/>I am in the category of being a divorced black woman. I've had around six serious relationships in my lifetime. I must say that I realize that anything serious, especially marriage, take A LOT of work, and personally, I really don't know if I'm up to that. So I don't have that desperate yearning that a lot of black women have. True, as a woman, I do desire a mate of my own, but I am real intensely concerned about agendas and motives and watching a man live his life. And I would hope that the man that I decide to be with (if ever), will have that very same standard... Honesty and Integrity are key with me. Character is of the utmost importance. And as you know, we are all works in progress, and we will be chiseling off the rough spots of our character 'til the day we die. So my perfect mate would be a man who has an understanding of that. He is strong where I am weak. Likewise, I am strong where he is lacking.<BR/><BR/>I agree with CurvyGurl when she says...<BR/><BR/><I>"I understand what your friend means, but I tend to lean on the thought that if I've given up on finding a mate, I've given up on myself."</I><BR/><BR/>I'd like to add, not only would it mean that I have given up on myself, but I have given up on God. All the blessings, all the prayers he has answered, the path He has had for our lives... surely, we can't give up on Him blessing us with the man He has for us...<BR/><BR/>Hmm... this dives way over into the condition of our faith. We all got areas where our faith is weak or strong. That "man thang" is one funky gray area for us single black sisters. We won't get into that. I'll be blogging over here ALL day. I may do a post on this. <BR/><BR/>Again, great post... And why does Mr. Anonymous keep messing with you? WOW.LadyLeehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14895667783148669410noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5623792489158195598.post-42985491447389007012008-12-01T15:43:00.000-05:002008-12-01T15:43:00.000-05:00The only alternative is to broaden your perspectiv...The only alternative is to broaden your perspective and fine tune your list of what you really want in a relationship at this point in your life. It sounds like the sister knows what she don't want, but hasn't really said what she does want. I look at my parents relationship, my mom's second husband of 40 years and i know without a doubt...that's what i want! I want a partner, a friend, a lover, a buddy, a lifelong mate, for as long as possible, or as long as our happiness endures. So, i've learned to look inside, not that i'm blind to the outside, but what i'm looking for is not so rare, and like any fine jewel just may take some deep exploring.Mizrepresenthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02992754393960138393noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5623792489158195598.post-39006670127286736052008-12-01T15:14:00.000-05:002008-12-01T15:14:00.000-05:00Well I’d like to be pragmatic about this but I won...Well I’d like to be pragmatic about this but I won’t.<BR/><BR/>As a man in his forties who dates women in their late thirties and forties I will say that I do see a trend. It’s one with a double edged sword. On one hand, women who are older tend not to “settle”. That of course is a good thing. On the other hand however, they can often be searching for something that might not exist for them. <BR/><BR/>Nothing is ever perfect. As fantastic as you marriage is Keith, I dare say that you would not proclaim that all things are always just as you like. No man who has been married to such a lovely Bride for such a long period of time can say so. <BR/><BR/>Relationships as we all know, are a matter of give and take. As we get older, that becomes a more challenging task. There’s a story in there somewhere about old dogs and new tricks.<BR/><BR/>In order for anyone to find someone, (me included), often we have to be realistic with ourselves. Not everyone will always be all things. And we shouldn’t expect them to be.<BR/><BR/>One might say that perhaps I’m advocating a lower of standards because I would think women too picky. On the contrary, I think they need to be picky. Just be careful what you are picky about.<BR/><BR/>But what do I know…I’m pushing the short side of fifty and single.Bananashttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03176853633460981781noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5623792489158195598.post-25520624339319827372008-12-01T13:49:00.000-05:002008-12-01T13:49:00.000-05:00Does this anonymous person have nothing better to ...Does this anonymous person have nothing better to do with themselves than to make idiotic comments? from what i see evidently not.<BR/><BR/>ok onto your post. i think that we as black women will not wait on the one that is meant for us. the one that is special sent from God. theres someone out there for everyone. unfortunately we as women pass up the one that we think dont fit our qualifications. that man might be staring them in the face but we dont give them a chance. <BR/><BR/>thats my spin on it. she will just have to wait her season again. cause you know that is how God operates. hopefully she will get it right when its her turn again!!!The Dreamy Onehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08154871272162365338noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5623792489158195598.post-39549939798064578152008-12-01T10:16:00.000-05:002008-12-01T10:16:00.000-05:00Um...big brother...do you have a Stan?Um...big brother...do you have a Stan?Mehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12183428153289658977noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5623792489158195598.post-54880751216461291192008-12-01T10:14:00.000-05:002008-12-01T10:14:00.000-05:00Hmmm...this is a hard one. I don't think women sho...Hmmm...this is a hard one. I don't think women should settle for any old thing, but (please don't kill me sisters) I do see friends pass over men that really are great, but their job holds no prestige...so they let them go in favor of looking for the man with the portfolio (which means nothing right about now). I can understand wanting a man to be on equal footing, but sometimes I do see friends missing out. <BR/><BR/>**Oh well...I guess I should hush...I'm married and don't have to deal with it...at least that is what I am told.Mehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12183428153289658977noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5623792489158195598.post-17354775431096283292008-12-01T09:32:00.000-05:002008-12-01T09:32:00.000-05:00There are a number of reasons we lose optimism, bu...There are a number of reasons we lose optimism, but I think reality smacks women in the face around the 37-45 age range. You look around and think "uh oh, how did I lose so many years?". <BR/><BR/>I understand what your friend means, but I tend to lean on the thought that if I've given up on finding a mate, I've given up on myself. <BR/><BR/>It's complicated...♥ CG ♥https://www.blogger.com/profile/06312573343401136201noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5623792489158195598.post-75642390426720524422008-12-01T09:21:00.000-05:002008-12-01T09:21:00.000-05:00Another good one. You always come up with the bes...Another good one. You always come up with the best topics.<BR/><BR/>Most of my single girlfriends seem to be extremely frustrated, but none of them want to settle. I think that's a good thing. Settling for less is a terrible thing. I feel for them. It's rough out there. I don't know what I would do if I was suddenly single.Strongblkwmnhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01943807196468824583noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5623792489158195598.post-27150966725603211622008-12-01T08:29:00.000-05:002008-12-01T08:29:00.000-05:00Good Post Keith, Like the other women who have com...Good Post Keith, Like the other women who have commented I have certainly had my challenges on the dating scene...I haven't given up yet. That "optimism" thing is the only thing keeping me going right now.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5623792489158195598.post-58812434479862656162008-12-01T08:13:00.000-05:002008-12-01T08:13:00.000-05:00@anonymous- obviously it's attention that you want...@anonymous- obviously it's attention that you want...For someone so oppossed to Brack Obama's name being mentioned, you seem to mention him a lot..Do not come to my blog again you coward and if you insist on making your little stupid comments..I'm going to just delete them.Keithhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17325582825431855883noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5623792489158195598.post-82254258706210727752008-12-01T08:11:00.000-05:002008-12-01T08:11:00.000-05:00Maybe your "savior" Barack Obama can pass some leg...Maybe your "savior" Barack Obama can pass some legislation and do something about this.-lolololol..<BR/>You haven't mentioned him in your past four posts...So I'm going to let you off the hook.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5623792489158195598.post-26838731672718266512008-12-01T08:08:00.000-05:002008-12-01T08:08:00.000-05:00Hey man...A lot of those women you talk about in y...Hey man...A lot of those women you talk about in your post don't have men because they are in fact too superficial and materialistic..IE-<BR/>High Maintenance...At least this has been my experience.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5623792489158195598.post-19519352930672233392008-12-01T08:07:00.000-05:002008-12-01T08:07:00.000-05:00Great Post Keith. Interesting perspective is all I...Great Post Keith. Interesting perspective is all I'll say. I would like for you to get deeper into this in another post also.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5623792489158195598.post-74279191333718770402008-12-01T08:05:00.001-05:002008-12-01T08:05:00.001-05:00Yo Brother,send some of em my way!lolololol, just ...Yo Brother,send some of em my way!<BR/>lolololol, just kidding.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5623792489158195598.post-68133316389539519112008-12-01T08:05:00.000-05:002008-12-01T08:05:00.000-05:00Good Post brother. I know a lot of women like the...Good Post brother. I know a lot of women like the one you described<BR/>who are drop dead gorgeous and are<BR/>dateless on Saturday Night...It really is a strange phenomenom.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5623792489158195598.post-47083276633839782082008-12-01T08:04:00.000-05:002008-12-01T08:04:00.000-05:00Heyyy Keith, good post..another one..I think this ...Heyyy Keith, good post..another one..I think this is going to resonate with a lot of women..Especially African American<BR/>women..We are just hard pressed to find marriagable men now of days..<BR/>There is so much game playing in relationships now of days.on the part of both parties,men and women.<BR/>I hope you touch on that in a future post.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5623792489158195598.post-28761099367369423882008-12-01T08:01:00.000-05:002008-12-01T08:01:00.000-05:00Hi Keith, Blackwomenblow the trumpet is absolutely...Hi Keith, Blackwomenblow the trumpet is absolutely right...Good looks can't keep a man, neither can<BR/>fast sex, a good house and an education.. In the long run, I guess you have to have strong charactor and an ability to get along with the man...I'm still working on that last one.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5623792489158195598.post-885569246894647402008-12-01T08:00:00.000-05:002008-12-01T08:00:00.000-05:00I love this blog, I just love it..You go into so m...I love this blog, I just love it..You go into so many different places on this site..it's not just one thing..I'm really feeling this post. It speaks to my existence right now.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5623792489158195598.post-39659491174759521472008-12-01T07:58:00.000-05:002008-12-01T07:58:00.000-05:00It's tough being a single sista..Ihave been throug...It's tough being a single sista..I<BR/>have been through the same challenges and struggles your "dime<BR/>peice" has been through. I'm tellin ya..it's rough.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5623792489158195598.post-58051965840291688622008-12-01T07:57:00.000-05:002008-12-01T07:57:00.000-05:00Good Morning Keith, As usual you are thoughtful an...Good Morning Keith, As usual you are thoughtful and well spoken in your post. I so agree with Black Womanblow the trumpet..It's not the<BR/>superficial that counts, but the<BR/>charactor in the long run. Good beginning point..Now we must go deeper.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5623792489158195598.post-70535414517852215222008-12-01T07:47:00.000-05:002008-12-01T07:47:00.000-05:00I agree that there really is no alternative that i...I agree that there really is no alternative that is worthwhile but to be optimistic. I have lived the alternative and its really not a great place to reside. <BR/><BR/>Now I admit I haven't been single in well over a decade, but I do know that holding onto a rigid list of requirements seems a surefire way to stay single. No, I am not saying settle for any man, but women IMO tend not to be realistic in their wants in a partner. <BR/><BR/>Sometimes you gotta get a diamond in the rough, I mean look at the Obamas. From all I have read, I doubt Barack looked like a catch when Michelle hooked up with him. He may be president-elect now, but he could just as well be a highly educated low paid community organizer still driving a beater with holes in his shoes.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5623792489158195598.post-53629926173781068702008-12-01T00:48:00.000-05:002008-12-01T00:48:00.000-05:00Hello there Keith!!There are sooo many dime pieces...Hello there Keith!!<BR/><BR/>There are sooo many dime pieces who do not have husbands or partners in the pews each and every Sunday. I counsel sooooo soooo many lonely sistas who lament that there is a scarcity of men out there who are husband material.<BR/><BR/>It's really not true. There are plenty of men who are husband material out there. I have met many eligible men (different races). I am not married for ONE reason....I never made marital status a priority.<BR/><BR/>I have noticed that many women I talk with have the WRONG concept of the elements that matter for longevity in a relationship.<BR/><BR/>They THINK that having a gorgeous home that they bought by themselves, and a trendy car and a fabulous wardrobe and banging body, and pleasant personality IS ALL that is needed to have droves of men interested.<BR/><BR/>Maybe so... but NONE of those things will cause a man to fall in love and REMAIN in love for a lifetime.<BR/><BR/>Just ask the twice-married, twice-divorced Halle Barry...or the jilted by Leon, Jane Kennedy (who was WORLD famous for her looks and sweet personality).<BR/><BR/>I don't want to go on and on but I listen to TOO many women who don't understand that the superficial things are nice but THAT is not what keeps a marriage on fire for 20 and 30 years.<BR/><BR/>Having a nice personality ....is only the surface...a nice personality is NOT THE SAME as having a strong character.<BR/><BR/>Peace, blessings and DUNAMIS!<BR/>LisaLISA VAZQUEZhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13583559303233985031noreply@blogger.com