Friday, August 5, 2011
Weekend Humor
A man was dining alone in a fancy restaurant and there was a
gorgeous woman sitting at the next table..He had been checking her out since he sat down, but he lacked the nerve to talk with her.
Suddenly she sneezed, and her glass eye came flying out of its socket towards the man. He reflexively reached out, grabbed it out of the air, and handed it back.
''Oh my, I am sooooooo sorry,'' the woman said, as she popped her eye back in place. ''Let me buy your dinner to make it up to you.''
They enjoyed a wonderful dinner together, and afterwards they went to the movies, followed by drinks... They talked, they laughed, she shared her deepest dreams and he shared his. She listened to him with interest.
After paying for everything, she asked him if he would like to come to her place for a nightcap and stay for breakfast. They had a wonderful, wonderful time If you know what I mean and I know you do.
The next morning, she cooked a gourmet breakfast with all the trimmings. The guy was amazed. Everything had been so incredible!
''You know,'' he said, ''You are the perfect woman.. Are you this nice to every guy you meet?''
''No ,not really '' she replies. .. ...."You just happened to catch .........my eye."
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KEEPING THE FAITH: RANDOM PRAYERS "ON THE DOWNLOAD"
DEAR GOD: My heart is heavy with my own failures. I try to excuse them and explain to myself why they occurred, because I want to be free from the feeling that I am unworthy and incapable of being all that I can be. But I find it easier to accept your forgiveness than to forgive myself. When I try to forgive myself, it seems I only remember and re-play my failures in my mind, and a sense of hopelessness floods over me. Help me to know that my past actions are a part of my growing humanity and that even when I fail to live up to what is your will for me, every single moment can be lived anew. Remind me that refusing to forgive myself only keeps me from experiencing that newness. Assure me of the truth that by casting “my sins into the depth of the sea”, you have freed me to discard them myself and live the next moment as if it were my first, for indeed it is. I ask this for the sake of your love. Amen.
2 comments:
Cute!
Keith, that was an Olivia joke, sans the sex of course. It brought a smile to my face. Have a great weekend!
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