The Mysterious Double Life Of Steve McNair

Steve LaTreal McNair

With all of the coverage of Michael Jackson's death and Memorial Service (which, by the way, was an incredibly moving and well put together program... BET, take note!) we seem to have forgotten that death claimed yet another celebrity over the holiday weekend... recently retired quarterback Steve McNair.

As reported by MSNBC...

Former NFL star Steve McNair was shot dead in his sleep last week by a 20 year old girlfriend distraught about mounting financial problems and her belief that he was seeing someone else, police said Wednesday.

Sahel Kazemi "was spinning out of control" when she shot McNair four times as he dozed on a sofa early Saturday, then turned the gun on herself, Police Chief Ronal Serpas said. Interviews with friends revealed that she was making payments on two cars, her rent was doubling and she suspected the married McNair was having a second affair with another young woman. (Man got around,didn't he? I'm just saying!)

She told a friend on Friday that "My life is a ball of s--- and I should end it," Serpas said. Police earlier had labeled McNair's death a homicide, but waited for further tests and the revelations about Kazemi's personal problems before concluding that she pulled the trigger of a 9 mm semiautomatic pistol in a condominium McNair rented with a friend.

McNair, 36, a quarterback for the Tennessee Titans most of his career, met Kazemi six months ago at a sports cafe where she was a waitress and his family often ate. She seemed happy and eager to build a life with him, but something went wrong.

"We do know that she was clearly sending a message during the last five to seven days of her life that things were going bad quickly," Serpas said, though there was no indication she told anyone she planned to harm McNair.

Serpas said detectives learned that Kazemi recently found out about another young woman she thought McNair was romantically involved with and had even followed that woman home, though she did not confront her.

Serpas said police believe McNair was asleep when he was killed because there were no defensive wounds. After shooting McNair in the head, Kazemi apparently shot him twice in the chest before shooting him again in the head. Before shooting herself, she sat next to his body and "tried to stage it so she would fall in his lap," Serpas said. She did, but her body slid to the floor and ended up at McNair's feet. The gun was found underneath her.

Kazemi's family told reporters that the woman was so confident McNair was divorcing his wife of 12 years that she was preparing to sell her furniture and move in with him. But associate Mike Mu, who has worked with McNair's charitable association for years, said earlier Wednesday that McNair's wife, Mechelle McNair, "didn't know who this girl is." No records of divorce proceedings have surfaced. The McNairs have four children.

Two days before the shooting, police stopped Kazemi driving a Cadillac Escalade sport utility vehicle that McNair had given her for her birthday in May.

According to an arrest affidavit, Kazemi had bloodshot eyes and alcohol on her breath. She refused a breath test and told an officer "she was not drunk, she was high." She was charged with DUI. McNair was with her but not charged. He later made her bail.

Serpas said that even though both her name and McNair's were on the Cadillac's title, she was apparently responsible for making payments. She was also making payments on another car after she couldn't sell it.

Kazemi had no history of violence, but "on the last several days of her life it's obvious that she made some very poor decisions," Serpas said.

Mechelle McNair has not spoken publicly since the shooting. Bishop Joseph W. Walker III of Mount Zion Baptist Church, which the McNairs have attended since moving to Nashville in 1997, said Wednesday that she is doing as well as can be expected.

"Her faith is what's sustaining her now," he said. "We haven't talked about the circumstances of his death. She is processing it in a private way. It's obviously devastating on so many levels."
A memorial service is set for Thursday night in Nashville, with the funeral Saturday in his native Mississippi.

The four-time Pro Bowl quarterback was being remembered Wednesday at the stadium where he played much of his career. The Tennessee Titans opened LP Field for fans to watch video highlights of McNair's 13-year NFL career and look at photos of the quarterback. There was also a book for them to write messages that will be given to the family.

McNair was known as "Air McNair" for his passing prowess at Alcorn State in Mississippi. In 2000, he helped lead the Titans to the Super Bowl, where they ended up a yard short of a touchdown on the last play of the game when they trailed by seven points.

He spent the last two seasons with the Baltimore Ravens before retiring from the NFL last year.

My Comments...

This does not seem to be in character with the Steve McNair I thought I knew but, then again, I didn't know him personally... I knew only what I saw on the football field. That's all anybody else except for his friends and family knew too. Does anybody really know anybody?

This story certainly sounds like something I would have written about on my other blog, "Escapades" yet, here is life becoming stranger than anything ficticious I could've written. We may never know the entire truth about what went on that night in that bedroom. And, maybe... just maybe... WE don't ever need to know. These tragic events have already tarnished a man's image and caused his wife and children more hurt than they ever needed to experience in the first place.

Oh, Hell No! Not In My Post-Racial America!

I had originally written a post about slain quarterback Steve McNair for today (it will post tomorrow) but, my wife brought this news story to my attention and I just had to jump on this right away. The irony of all this is that I was just telling her the other day, with America having it's first African American President, we could possibly be entering into a period some are calling "Post-Racial America", where the racial divides were slowly being broken down.

I know that for some of those who know me, they probably couldn't believe that I was saying such a thing, cynic that I can be at times. I came to this conclusion after we watched a commercial for Lowes in which an interracial couple (black man and white woman) and bi-racial child were in the store ordering materials for their home. I pointed out to my wife that 10 or 20 years ago, nobody would have filmed a commercial like that... the couple would've been either black or white. I said, "Nobody would have dared have a black man, white woman, and bi-racial child in a commercial representing the American family but, now that Barack Obama is president, they are no longer afraid."

I'm not really that naive... I was actually half-serious and half-kidding but, this story (which originally broke in Philadelphia on Tuesday with a follow-up report yesterday) that my wife made me aware of shows me that in some cases, nothing has really changed much.

As reported by NBC10 News...

More than 60 campers from Northeast Philadelphia were turned away from a private swim club and left to wonder if their race was the reason. Camper Dymire Baylor (above photo) said that he heard one white lady say, "Uh, what are all these black kids doing here? I'm scared they might do something to my child."

The Creative Steps Day Camp paid more than $1,900 to The Valley Swim Club. The Valley Swim Club is a private club that advertises open membership. But the campers' first visit to the pool suggested otherwise.

Horace Gibson, parent of a day camp child, wrote in an email... "When the minority children got in the pool, all of the Caucasian children immediately exited the pool. The pool attendants came and told the black children that they did not allow minorities in the club and needed the children to leave immediately."

The next day the club told the camp director that the camp's membership was being suspended and their money ($1,900 membership fee) would be refunded. Camp director Aetha Wright said, "The parents don't want the refund. They want a place for their children to swim." The campers remain unsure as to why they were no longer welcome. Camper Simer Burwell said, "They just kicked us out and we were about to go. We had our swim things and everything."

The explanation they got from the president of The Valley Swim Club, John Duesler, in a statement was either dishearteningly honest or poorly worded... "There was concern that a lot of kids would change the complexion and the atmosphere of the club."

My Comments...

"...CHANGE THE COMPLEXION AND ATMOSPHERE OF THE CLUB!" This is so blatantly racist that I don't understand why I'm the only one upset about this story. I don't care if they did refund the money... that was racial discrimination and somebody ought to be in court! The only thing this club didn't do was put up a sign that said, "White's Only." I doubt if anybody in Mississippi would be this bold today in 2009. Yet, this happened in Upper Moreland Township, a suburb of Philadelphia, PA!

While the parents await an apology, the camp was scrambling to find a new place for the kids to beat the summer heat and go swimming. In a follow-up story yesterday, NBC10 news reported yesterday that they received responses to the story from all over the country and Girard College in Philadelphia offered the kids a place to swim but, that is just putting a bandage on the problem. I hope that this story doesn't die. I hope that local civil rights leaders picket this swim club. In fact, I'll join them if they decide to do so. This is BS at its finest and they shouldn't be allowed to get away with it! Not today, not ever. Not in my post-racial America!

Let Freedom Ring

Annual Family Gathering on July 4th

I observed the holiday by participating in a tradition that I have taken part in as far back as I can remember... I spent the day with my larger family at our annual July 4th picnic in the park. This year, my granddaughter (who was sleeping most of the time) was introduced to the family and tradition, along with my son-in-law. My grandson made his third appearance at this yearly event and my wife was the photographer this time. My daughter was there but, she forgot to bring her camera. The weather was beautiful and everyone had a good time. We hope that you and yours enjoyed the holiday too.

Footnote: There was another large family celebrating the holiday at the park as well. Late in the afternoon, we decided to engage them in a "friendly" game of touch football and I'm happy to report that MY family won-lololol!!!

Saturday Seven (7 Things I Love About July 4th)

1. I'm not working!

2. Annual family barbecue in the park.

3. Fireworks at night.

4. Watching the fireworks on the bridge with my neighbors.

5. The annual free concert on the Ben Franklin Parkway.

6. The annual week-long "Welcome America!" festivities leading up to Independence
Day.

7. Being on South Street!

(And, did I mention, I'm not working!)

Weekend Joke

Why Parents Drink

A father passing by his son's bedroom was astonished to see that his bed was nicely made and everything was picked up. Then, he saw an envelope propped up prominently on the pillow that was addressed to "Dad". With the worst premonition, he opened the envelope with trembling hands and read the letter...

Dear Dad:

It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing you. I had to elope with my new girlfriend because I wanted to avoid a scene with Mom and you. I have been finding real passion with Stacy and she is so nice. But, I knew you would not approve of her because of all her piercings, tattoos, tight motorcycle clothes, and the fact that she is much older than I am. But it's not only the passion... Dad, she's pregnant.

Stacy said that we will be very happy. She owns a trailer in the woods and has a stack of firewood for the whole winter. We share a dream of having many more children. Stacy has opened my eyes to the fact that marijuana doesn't really hurt anyone. We'll be growing it for ourselves and trading it with the other people that live nearby for cocaine and ecstasy. In the meantime we will pray that science will find a cure for AIDS so Stacy can get better. She deserves it.

Don't worry, Dad. I'm 15 years old and I know how to take care of myself. Someday I'm sure that we will be back to visit so that you can get to know your grandchildren.

Love always,

Your son, John

P.S. Dad, none of the above is true. I'm over at Tommy's house. I just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than a report card that's in my center desk drawer. I love you. Call me when it's safe to come home.

Street Corner Tribute

Wikipedia: "I'll Be There" By The Jackson Five

The other night after dinner, I went for my run. Yesterday, I was explaining this to my co-worker who said to me... "Oh, I didn't know that you RUN anywhere anymore since you got your new car." We both looked at each other and laughed. Yes, I have been running (really power walking) and I may lose all of this weight yet.

I walked over to the playground and I stopped to catch my breath. Somebody had their car parked outside the playground with their radio blasting but, it wasn't the sounds of Lil Wayne, Soulja Boy, or Drake blasting... it was The Jackson 5 singing "I'll Be There". What struck me was, standing around the car and singing every line perfectly was about 20 of the biggest, roughest kinda guys you ever wanted to see... the kinda guys that a lot of people would be afraid of if they saw them on the street at night. And yet, there they were singing "I'll Be There" and singing it well...

"You and I must make a pact...
we must bring salvation back...
where there is love....
I'll be there.

I'll reach out my hand to you...
I'll have faith in all you do...
whenever you need me...
I'll be there.

And ohhh...

I'll be there to comfort you...
when your dreams fall down around you..
I'll be glad that I found you.

I'll be there with a love so strong...
I'll be your strength....
I'll keep holdin' on."

I couldn't believe it. I started to join in but, I didn't. It was their moment and they handled it well. It was surprising and moving (to say the least) and near the end of the song, they all held up their cell phones, lighting up the night time sky and sang in unison...

"If you should ever find someone new...
I know he better be good to you...
'cause if he doesn't...
I'll be there.

Don't you know baby yeah, yeah...
I'll be there...
I'll be there...
Just call my name...
I'll be there."

I stood a distance from these guys and applauded as they continued to sing and someone who hadn't been singing ad-libbed...

"Just look over your shoulders honey, ouuu...
I'll be there..."

It was a unifying moment... a rare moment... when all of us tossed aside our fear, hang-ups, and even our trepidations about each other and joined in a sing-a-long, if only for a few minutes. The vibe was there and it was good. It was cool. Michael was good at bringing people together through music. Wherever he is, he would have loved it!

What I've Learned

1. Death is no respecter of persons.

2. Fame kills sometimes.

3. The hunt is far more intoxicating than the capture and it's aftermath!

4. If half the people (male and female) asked the right questions on the first date, maybe there wouldn't be a second date... and maybe... just maybe... a bad relationship could've been avoided.

5. Telling everybody who will listen how much you loved me after I'm dead, won't do me a bit of good if you never told me that while I was around to hear it and appreciate it.

6. Life is a game to be played and since it is... you might as well play to win!

7. You can't help a person that doesn't feel as though they need to be helped.

8. You can't influence what other people say or do to you, however, you can control how you respond to what they say or do.

9. Writing both of my blogs has slowly revealed to me who I am. The question is, have they revealed this information to you?

10. God loves us all in spite of our crap, faults, hang-ups, and drama. It's a shame that we can't love each other in spite of...

Where Was The Class?

BET Awards 2009 Official Website

Before I go on, let me just say for those who might get it twisted... What I write on this blog is just my opinion and, just as the description says underneath the title, you are getting "whatever is on my mind today". So, with that said, let me get right to it.

I purposely chose not to write a big blog post on the recent death of Michael Jackson. It was hurting me... I mean, I was really hurting. He has meant too much to me over the years for me to do him any justice (or injustice, depending on how you look at it) by writing a post on him. I figured that a number of bloggers and others would do that anyway and anything I wrote just might be redundant. By the time you read me, you probably would have read the same thing somewhere else.

Most of us grew up with the man in some form or another. I was fortunate enough to be 10 years old when he was 10 years old and just starting out. The first record I ever bought with my own money was "I Want You Back" by the Jackson Five. I used to go to the 5212 Restaurant on the corner of 52nd and Haverford Avenue and play the song on the jukebox so much that the cook gave me the money to go and buy the 45rpm (Remember those? If not, I don't want to hear about it!). I know... I'm really telling my age.

However, this post is not about Michael though. It's about the so-called "tribute" that BET put together and actually aired in his honor. To say I was disappointed is an understatement. New Edition came out overweight with hoarse (or "changed") voices and simply ruined a Jackson Five classic and the other acts were weak, at best.

I love Jamie Foxx... I really do... but, his coming out on stage in tight high-water pants and attempting to be funny at Michael Jackson's expense, just didn't do anything for me. I wanted to laugh but, enough people had clowned and mocked Michael when he was alive. I felt that as black people, we could have at least given him a break in death for one day.

Ne-Yo was the only artist who did Michael any justice. I did like the New Jack Swing part with Guy, BBD, and Keith Sweat. I also thought the tribute to the O'Jays by Johnny Gill, Tyrese, and Trey Songs was great and I thought the O'Jays were great too! Then, you had Soulja Boy Tell ‘Em... What was he singing? Then, you had Lil Wayne, Drake, all of those young girls dancing during their act, all of the cursing, and the 5-second delays that were hit and miss all night long. I just felt embarrassed and sad, that's all.

You know I sat in a movie theatre in the south when I was in boot camp and just cringed while watching "Gone With The Wind" (in 1984, no doubt) and Butterfly McQueen say, "Ah-ont know nothin' 'bout birfin' no babies!" I wanted to kill the white guy sitting next to me who laughed a little too long at her every time she was on the screen. Well, Sunday night, I wanted to grab a lot of those young black people who were portraying that same "coonery" on the television screen. I was just disappointed and embarrassed. I know I might be a minority with my opinion but, I miss the "class".

Michael Jackson (and his brothers) and all of the Motown acts, Philly International acts, Atlantic acts, and Stax acts all performed with class and precision. They didn't embarrass black people and they made us proud when we saw them on TV.

Even hip-hop icons like Tupac, Biggie, Rakim, LL, etc. put on great performances that made me proud when they were in their hey day. When they cursed, at least it was to make a point. Sometimes, it seems as if a lot of these performers today are just vulgar and ignorant just for the sake of it and just because they can be... but, that's not cool and nor is it good showmanship. It's just what it is...coonery! Where was the class? Where did it go?

If I'm by myself with this... if I sound like a crotchety old man and a hater... well, I guess that's just how I sound today. I don't window-dress myself and the older I get, the more I plan to let it all hang out. One of my ex-girlfriend's mother's once told me, "You ain't no good but, you don't try to hide it. What you see with you is what you get." And, she was right. I hope what I saw on BET is not all that we are going to get from our young entertainers. If so, that betrays all of the class and professionalism that Michael Jackson was all about!

Sanford & "Hon"

Governor Mark Sanford

This was just too good for me to pass up. Now, let me get this straight... South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman, voting for Bill Clinton's impeachment when he was president. He became a darling of fiscal conservatives over his ideological opposition to federal stimulus cash. Now, Mark Sanford has taken a swan dive from the moral high ground by admitting to an extramarital affair with a woman in Argentina on Wednesday. The Republican governor makes the already-difficult end of his term-limited administration nearly untenable.

Talk about being an international player. This guy goes from a four-day hike along the Appalachian Trail to winding up in Argentina with a babe! This kinda reminds me of when I was a teenager, I would offer to take the trash out, and then disappear for a few hours. I never made it to Argentina... I didn't even make it to Camden... but, I gotta give the man his props. When he gets away, he gets AWAY!

Details of that affair were revealed by The State newspaper in South Carolina, which released email exchanges between Sanford and the woman, identified only as "Maria". (Why are all Spanish mistresses named Maria?)

According to the newspaper, Sanford's office Wednesday did not dispute the authenticity of the emails. Contacted by the AP, Sanford spokesman Joel Sawyer declined to discuss them. Yeah, I can see why he would.

Emails to Argentina

One email exchange dated July 4, 2008 that the governor is reported to have written to her stated: "You are glorious and I hope you really understand that. You do not need a therapist to help you figure your place in the world. You are special and unique and fabulous in a whole host of ways that are worth a much longer conversation. "She reportedly wrote back the same day saying, "I told you before, you brought happiness and love to my life and I will take you forever in my heart. I wasn’t aware till we met last week, the strong feelings I had for you, and believe me, I haven’t felt this since I was in my teen ages ..." And, I haven't heard or said such mush to a woman since I was a teenager. Okay, maybe in my early early twenties.

Another email, reportedly sent by Sanford on July 10, 2008, contained this exchange: "Two, mutual feelings... You have a particular grace and calm that I adore. You have a level of sophistication that so fitting with your beauty. I could digress and say that you have the ability to give magnificent gentle kisses, or that I love your tan lines, or that I love the curve of your hips, the erotic beauty of you holding yourself (or two magnificent parts of yourself) in the faded glow of the night's light — but hey, that would be going into sexual details..."

The e-mail continued... "I better stop now least this really sound like the Thornbirds — wherein I was always upset with Richard Chamberlain for not dropping his ambitions and running into Maggie’s arms. The bottom line is twofold, my heart wants me to get on a plane tonight and to be in your loving arms... "She reportedly responded, also on July 10, 2008 saying, "I don’t know how we will figure all of this out and I am not interested in knowing. I prefer to think we’ll see each other again somewhere, sometime in this life and in next. I will be missing you till then. Sending you millions of kisses that will last 'til we get in touch again. Best wishes from the deepest of my heart."

The political reality is that Sanford now faces a host of legal and ethical questions. The state's top senator questioned whether Sanford broke the law when he disappeared for several days on a trip to South America and didn't transfer power to the lieutenant governor. "I would think that if the evidence indicates that there is a willful effort to circumvent the constitution, there would be a chorus of calls for him to resign," said state Sen. Glenn McConnell, a fellow Republican. McConnell said Sanford needed to answer questions about whether taxpayer money was used but stopped short of calling for an investigation. Sanford's spokesman has said no state resources were used during the affair.

He has alienated leaders of his GOP-dominated state Legislature for years, but said recently he was finding comfort outside the Statehouse as a champion for smaller government and lower taxes. He was raising his national political profile with his outspoken fight against using federal cash for anything but paying down debt. As chairman of the Republican Governors Association, he was raising money for candidates and deflecting talk he was planning to run for president in 2012.

Yeah, he really needs to forget about 2012 or 2022 for that matter... but, then again, Americans have short memories when it comes to some people and some things. People still laugh and snicker about Bill Clinton's escapades and you can best believe if Barack Obama ever has a hint of a sex scandal, there will be howls for his resignation from this same GOP that wishes like hell this scandal would just go away!

R.I.P. Micheal Jackson

LONG LIVE THE KING OF POP!!!
August 29, 1958 - June 25, 2009

Quiet & Still

ART: "Solitude" By Ken B. Miller

I'm not feeling my best right now. In fact, I think I may have be coming down with a cold or something. I really shouldn't be blogging either (maybe I'm just too dedicated or addicted to this blogging thing) but, I thought I would drop this ephinany on you.

Like all of you, I hate being sick (at least, I hope you hate being sick too). But, when I am, it forces me to be two things... quiet and still. When I'm quiet and still, it doesn't matter what is going on around me. I am at once alone with my thoughts and I can hear things. I can hear or (at least) feel something at my core that lets me see clearly what path I need to be on, where I need to go, what I need to be doing, and it let's me know how blessed I am.

I'm sure I'll feel better tomorrow. Be still and know that He is...

(Those who know, also know that I don't need to finish that sentence, right?)

The Text That Broke The Camel's Back!

Okay, I'll admit it... I'm a petty man by nature. I can't talk about other people's faults and not talk about my own. I don't ask for much in life but, the little that I do ask for, I expect to get. No excuses... that's just how I am. I have certain rules of etiquette. If you are a friend of mine and you break these rules, you may not be a friend of mine much longer. I suppose it all began in the first grade...

Christmas was approaching and we were having something called a pollyanna so, I had to get a gift for the person whose name I pulled from the hat. My uncle took me to the "five and dime" store (better known as Woolworth) on 52nd street and we bought a nice bright racing car for the person that I would have wanted for myself. I was so proud of the gift that I couldn't wait for my school chum to open it... I was just bursting with joy. Do you know what I got in return? A pair of socks! That's right... the cheap bastard got me a pair of socks and what was worse, they were too big. My mother, grandmother, and uncle thought it was funny but, I didn't find the humor in it because I wanted a toy too.

From that day on, I rarely (if ever) participated in pollyannas... not family, not school, not college, not fraternity, not in the Air Force, and definitely not at any job. People have probably called me "Scrooge" but, I have always declined to participate just the same. Now don't get me wrong, if I have a friend or acquaintence that I'm particulary close to or fond of, I will buy them a nice gift and not necessarily expect anything back. But, that's different because I wanted to give them a gift and not because I was part of some organized tradition where I was supposed to give a gift and expect to get something equally nice back!

With my friends, and especially my close friends, I expect some parity too. For instance, I had a friend (and the emphasis is on HAD) who I would get a birthday gift and a Christmas gift for every year. When my birthday would come around, I would be lucky if I got a card and I would get my Christmas gift about three months later on my birthday as a sort of combination gift. I didn't want to bring it up to them because that would have been kinda... well, you know, in poor taste.

Eventually, I stopped buying birthday gifts and Christmas gifts for this person and just started sending cards. Recently, this person had the nerve to mention to me that I didn't buy gifts and I played the "poor mouth" card. I said that I was married, had a family, and now with grandchildren so, I just couldn't swing it.

A few days before my birthday this year I got a text message saying "Happy Birthday" from this person. It was the kind of text that makes noise and the phone provider probably sends you. I shook my head... I couldn't believe it. Come Mother's day, I called my friend (as I do every woman I know) and wished her a "Happy Mother's Day". I mean, come on... it's Mother's Day. You know what I got yesterday? A Text message that said "Hapy Father's Day" and it wasn't even spelled right. Come on... they left out one of the p's! Well, that was the text that broke the camel's back.

Am I too old fashioned to expect a call? I make calls. If we are good friends, shouldn't we be a little more personal than a text? Don't get me wrong... a text message is cool for a lot of things but so uncool when you're asking somebody out on a date, when you're breaking up with somebody (to me, that's downright cowardly), and when you're sending greetings for birthdays , Mother's Day, Father's Day, etc. Is it just me? I like a call or a face-to-face, if possible. You can text me about the game, Kanye West's new album, the guy's toupee' in church that fell off when pastor really got to goin' in his sermon. But dammit, call me or come see about me on the days that really matter!