Saturday, February 25, 2017
God asks the first nun if she has ever sinned. She says, "Well, I've seen a penis."
So God puts holy water on her eyes and lets her enter.
He asks the second nun the same thing and she says, "I've held a penis," so he puts holy water on her hands and lets her enter.
Then the fourth nun skips the third nun in line and God asks why she did that.
The 4th nun replies, "Well, I need to gargle it before she sits in it."
EVERYBODY HAVE A SEXILICIOUS WEEKEND!!
Friday, February 24, 2017
Think about this...While Vice President Pence was in Europe this weekend, assuring our Allies that they have nothing to worry about...9Something President Trump (god I hate to say that) should have been doing...Our President was in Florida at a ,I don't know...Campaign rally or something or other...or Love Fest...
He needed the adulation of the faithful true believers after the week he's been having in Washington D.C.
His problems with the truth ,with facts is part of the problem...but only part...
In the Washington week that wasn't, President Donald Trump's new administration whirred like a "fine-tuned machine," piling on big-league accomplishments at a pace never before seen.
Immigration agents newly empowered by Trump's call to secure borders sent hordes of bad foreigners back home, validating a president who won the most lopsided Electoral College victory since Ronald Reagan.
That's what the audacity of hype looks like.
In the Washington week that actually was, Trump fired his national security adviser for misleading the vice president, was rebuffed by his next choice, saw a Cabinet nominee's prospects flame out, and stirred anxiety among some fellow Republicans over the tumult holding up Trump's agenda. Immigration officials announced a sizable but routine roundup of people living in the country illegally, which resulted in fewer arrests than raids mounted under President Barack Obama almost two years earlier.
President Trump was called out on his latest of many boasts about the Electoral College, which handed him one of the narrowest victories since Reagan — sixth out of eight — and not one of the biggest.
Let's take a good look at some of his statements in the past week:
TRUMP: "I see stories of chaos. Chaos. Yet it is the exact opposite. This administration is running like a fine-tuned machine, despite the fact that I can't get my Cabinet approved."
"This last month has represented an unprecedented degree of action on behalf of the great citizens of our country. Again, I say it. There has never been a presidency that's done so much in such a short period of time."
THE FACTS: Trump's first month has been consumed by a series of missteps and firestorms and produced less legislation of significance than Obama enacted during his first month.
Republican-led congressional committees will investigate the Trump team's relations with Russians before he took office and the flood of leaks that altogether forced out his national security adviser in record time. His pick for labor secretary withdrew because he didn't have enough Republican support.
By many measures, the administration is in near paralysis in its earliest days, leaving allies unsettled and many in Congress anxious about what Sen. John Thune, R-S.D., called the "constant disruption."
To many Republicans — never mind Democrats — the machine seems in danger of its wheels coming off.
In his first month, President Obama signed a $787 billion stimulus package into law, as well as a law expanding health care for children and the Lilly Ledbetter bill on equal pay for women. Trump has vigorously produced executive orders, which don't require congressional approval and typically have narrow effect. The one with far-reaching consequences — banning entry by refugees and by visitors from seven countries — has been blocked by courts.
President Trump's biggest initiatives, such as tax cuts and a replacement for President Obama's health care law, have not emerged. On Thursday he signed into law a rollback of President Obama-era regulations on mining near streams. Congress has sent him little else.
TRUMP: "To be honest I inherited a mess. It's a mess. At home and abroad, a mess."
THE FACTS: A mess is in the eye of the beholder. But by almost every economic measure, President Obama inherited a far worse situation when he became president in 2009 than he left for Donald Trump. He had to deal with the worst downturn since the Depression.
Unemployment was spiking, the stock market crashing, the auto industry failing and millions of Americans risked losing their homes to foreclosure when Obama took the oath of office. None of those statistics is as dire fo rPresident Trump.
Unemployment is 4.8 percent, compared with a peak of 10 percent during President Obama's first year as president. The Dow Jones Industrial Average was cratering until March 2009, only to rebound roughly 200 percent over the rest of President Obama's term, and those gains have continued under Trump on the promise of tax and regulatory cuts.
When President Trump assumed office last month, a greater percentage of the country had health insurance, incomes were rising and the country was adding jobs.
The Trump administration has noted that a smaller proportion of the population is working or looking for jobs. But even this measure began to turn around toward the end of the Barack Obama era.
Yet it's true that jobs at factories and coal mines have been disappearing for more than three decades, while many people with only a high school diploma have seen their incomes fall after adjusting for inflation. The home ownership rate has slipped even as the economy has improved, leaving many pockets of the country feeling left out of a recovery that technically began more than seven years ago.
TRUMP: "ISIS has spread like cancer, another mess I inherited."
THE FACTS: The Islamic State group began to lose ground before Trump took office, not just in Iraq and Syria but also in Libya. The gradual military progress achieved in Iraq during Obama's final two years has pushed IS to the point of collapse in Mosul, its main Iraqi stronghold.
It remains a potent danger beyond its shrunken territory, encouraging adherents to stage acts of terrorism. The analogy with cancer is an echo of Obama's last defense secretary, Ash Carter, who repeatedly cast Obama's counter-IS campaign as an effort to reverse the extremists' "metastasis" beyond the "parent tumor" in Iraq and Syria.
TRUMP, bragging again about his Electoral College vote total: "We got 306 because people came out and voted like they've never seen before, so that's the way it goes. I guess it was the biggest Electoral College win since Ronald Reagan."
THE FACTS: Not even close. In the seven previous elections, the winner of five of those contests won a larger Electoral College majority than Trump. They were George H.W. Bush in 1988, Bill Clinton in 1992 and 1996; and Barack Obama in 2008 and 2012.
When a reporter pointed out that Trump was overstating his winning margin, the president said: "Well, I don't know, I was given that information." He then called it "a very substantial victory."
Trump actually ended up with 304 electoral votes because of the defection of two electors in December, but he had won enough states in November to get to 306.
TRUMP: "We want products made in America, made by American hands. You probably saw the Keystone pipeline I approved recently."
THE FACTS: He hasn't approved the Keystone XL pipeline, though he seems to want to.
Trump has signed an order asking the TransCanada pipeline company to "resubmit its application" for a permit to build the project, which it has done.
There's still a regulatory process to go through and negotiations to be done. Trump has said he'd renegotiate some of the terms and is insisting that the pipeline be built with U.S. steel. TransCanada has said it would need time to review how any buy-American plan from Washington will impact the company.
Late in his presidency, Barack Obama rejected Keystone XL on environmental grounds.
Trump's order directs the State Department and other agencies to make a decision within 60 days of the application.
TRUMP: "We're actually taking people that are criminals, very, very, hardened criminals in some cases ... with a tremendous track record of abuse and problems, and we're getting them out and that's what I said I would do. ... And I said at the beginning, we are going to get the bad ones, the really bad ones, we're getting them out and that's exactly what we're doing."
THE FACTS: Officials said an operation that resulted in the arrest of more than 680 immigrants in various cities was a routine enforcement action like those undertaken during the presidency of Obama, who deported an unprecedented number of people as president.
More specifically, David Marin, Immigration and Customs Enforcement's field office director for enforcement and removal operations in greater Los Angeles, said the agency carries out such large-scale operations two or three times a year in his region. The California operation was in the planning stages "before the administration came out with their current executive orders," he said. More than 100 of the arrests were in the Los Angeles area.
The notion that raids have been stepped up under Trump has been advanced both by the White House, to show that Trump is keeping a promise, and by advocates of those who have been targeted, to illustrate what they call the new president's heavy-handed tactics. But statistical evidence has not come in to show that enforcement has surged under the new Trump administration or that actual deportations are up. A similar series of raids under Obama in March 2015 resulted in the arrest of more than 2,000 criminals, the government said at the time.
Homeland Security Secretary John Kelly said: "ICE conducts these kind of targeted enforcement operations regularly and has for many years. The focus of these enforcement operations is consistent with the routine, targeted arrests carried out by ICE's Fugitive Operations teams on a daily basis."
It's possible, however, that the latest raids went beyond Obama's actions in arresting people without serious criminal records. Kelly said 75 percent of those arrested had been convicted of crimes. That still leaves many who were taken into detention without such records.
TRUMP, saying the appeals court that blocked his selective travel ban "has been overturned at a record number."
THE FACTS: Other appeals courts have seen their decisions overturned at a higher rate than the San Francisco-based 9th U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals that froze his action on immigration.
In the most recent full term, the Supreme Court reversed 8 of the 11 cases from the 9th Circuit. But the Atlanta-based 11th Circuit went 0 for 3; that is, the Supreme Court reversed all three cases it heard from that circuit. Over the past five years, five federal appeals courts were reversed at a higher rate than the 9th Circuit.
The 9th Circuit is by far the largest of the 13 federal courts of appeals. In raw numbers, more cases are heard and reversed from the 9th Circuit year in and year out. But as a percentage of cases the Supreme Court hears, the liberal-leaning circuit fares somewhat better, according to statistical compilations by Scotusblog.
Most cases decided by appeals courts aren't appealed to the Supreme Court, and the high court only accepts for review a small percentage of those that are.
But the very act of the Supreme Court's agreeing to hear a case means the odds are it will be overturned; the court reverses about two-thirds of the cases it hears.
TRUMP on childhood autism: "Tremendous increases ... really a horrible thing to watch the tremendous amount of increase."
THE FACTS: About 1 in 68 school-age children has autism or related disorders, a rate that has stayed about the same for two years, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention reported in March.
That's far more than in 2000, when the CDC estimated that about 1 in 150 children had autism. But the increase is explained in large part by more awareness of the developmental disorder and changes in practice that broadened the definition for an autism diagnosis.
Labeling also is an issue, as parents became more likely to seek out the increasing services for autism and related disorders that are available in schools and other settings. Still, the CDC says that a true increase in the number of people with autism cannot be ruled out.
An accurate estimate of the prevalence of autism is important because those who attribute autism to vaccination seize upon any rising numbers as an argument against vaccination. That has proved worrisome to public health officials because it could divert money away from things that should be a higher priority.
Trump in the past has subscribed to theories unsupported by scientific evidence linking vaccines to autism.
Now ask yourself this...Why is it that so much that he says and the truth are so markedly different??
The man has a problem with the truth and with facts......And this is only the tip of the iceberg as to why this guy never should have been elected President of the United States...
The Audacity of Hype!
Thursday, February 23, 2017
Wednesday, February 22, 2017
Tuesday, February 21, 2017
Monday, February 20, 2017
Saturday, February 18, 2017
He stops by the local sex toy shop in town. He looks around, but doesn't see anything that would keep his wife occupied for 3 weeks.
He asks the clerk for a recommendation. The clerk takes a black box from underneath the counter, assuring the newlywed that its contents are not for sale.
He opens the box, and inside is what appears to be a normal dildo. The newlywed guy is unimpressed, but the clerk says, "Let me demonstrate." He looks at the dildo and says, "Voodoo dick, the counter!" and the dildo jumps out of the box.
The clerk commands, "Voodoo dick, the box!" and the dildo hops back into the box.
The newlywed man asks how much it costs, but the clerk insists it is a priceless heirloom. The newlywed man takes $500 cash out of his wallet and the clerk quickly hands over the dildo. When the man arrives home, he gives his wife the box, explains how it works, and leaves the next morning on his business trip. A few days later the wife is bored and horny, so she opens the box and skeptically says, "Voodoo dick, my pussy."
After about 15 minutes, she has had several orgasms and is starting to get tired, so she tries to pull the voodoo dick out. Her husband had forgotten to tell her how to make it stop. She puts on a dress and drives to the hospital. On the way there, the voodoo dick is still going at her so the lady is speeding and swerving her car.
A police officer pulls her over. The cop asks, "Lady, why are you driving so recklessly?" She explains, "Officer, there's this voodoo dick going at me and I can't make it stop! I'm on the way to the hospital to have it removed!"
The officer laughs and says, "Yeah right, lady. Voodoo dick, my ass."
HAVE A SEXILICIOUS WEEKEND!
Friday, February 17, 2017
This is what Trump and Putin are up to: Exxon Mobil, under Rex Tillerson, brokered a deal with Russia in 2013 for 60 million acres of Russian land to pump oil out of, but all that Russian oil went through pipelines in the Ukraine, who heavily taxed the proceeds, and were applying for admission into NATO at the time.
Putin subsequently invaded Ukraine in 2014, secured the routes to export the oil tax-free by sea, and took control of the port where their Black Sea Naval Fleet is based, by taking the Crimean peninsula from Ukraine by force and not giving it back. This was Hitler-tier imperialism that broke every international law in the free world.
After President Obama sanctioned Russia for the invasion, they could only pump oil from approximately 3 of those 60 million acres.
But now Rex Tillerson is our Secretary of State, and as of today, there’s information circulating that Donald Trump will likely unilaterally remove all sanctions against Russia in the coming days or weeks.
Putin will make half a trillion (500 Billion) dollars from that much untapped oil. All pumped tax-free through Crimea, stolen from Ukraine, now owned by Russia. Putin may have subverted our election and helped Donald Trump get elected just to become the richest man in the world. **According to leaked docs Trump will get a 19% cut (Rosneft stock placed in Cayman accounts in Dec 16)
Sounds like a plot to one of my stories in my blog, Escapades doesn't it?
(Weekend Humor Returns Tomorrow !)
Thursday, February 16, 2017
Wednesday, February 15, 2017
Tuesday, February 14, 2017
Monday, February 13, 2017
Another great has left us..Jazz Singer,Al Jarreau died yesterday.....I had just heard that he was planning to retire from touring and just record....Unfortunately for us...He'll be doing none of that now..
Seven-time Grammy winner Al Jarreau has died. His passing comes two days after an announcement was made on his website that he was retiring from touring due to exhaustion.
Al Jarreau had been in a hospital in Los Angeles and was "slowly recovering," according to a statement posted on Thursday. He was 76 years old.
Al Jarreau died at 5:30 a.m. PT Sunday, according to a statement from his booking agent Bob Zievers. Gordon said in lieu of flowers or gifts, Al Jarreau's family requested contributions be made to the Wisconsin Foundation for School Music.
Al Jarreau received a lifetime achievement award from the foundation last fall, and an endowment to benefit Milwauke Public School children needing financial assistance for music programs was established in his name.
First singing at church and PTA meetings when he was four or five, Al Jarreau told the Journal Sentinel it was at Lincoln High School where " "My love of music and singing really deepened. I began to have ideas of taking this as far as it could go. And I kept dreaming that dream and nourishing that dream."
He took that dream exceptionally far. Al Jarreau has 20 albums to his name, and is the only Grammy vocalist to win in the jazz, pop and R&B categories.
He performed 50 concerts last year, including at the White House.
AlJarreau is survived by his wife Susan and son Ryan.