Friday, October 28, 2011
Weekend Humor
A cowboy walks into a bar and two steps in, he realizes it's a gay bar. "But what the heck," he says to himself, I really want a drink."
When the gay waiter approaches, he says to the cowboy, "What's the name of your penis?" The cowboy says, Look man, I'm not into any of that. All I want is a drink, okay?."
The gay waiter says, "I'm sorry but I can't serve you until you tell me the name of your penis. Mine for instance is called Nike, for the slogan 'Just Do It.' That guy down at the end of the bar calls his Snickers, because ''It really Satisfies'."
The cowboy looks dumbfounded so the bartender tells him he will give him a second to think it over. So the cowboy asks the man sitting to his left, who is sipping on a beer, "Hey bud, what's the name of yours?" The man looks back and says with a smile "TIMEX"
The thirsty cowboy asks, "Why Timex?"
The fella proudly replies, "Cause it takes a lickin' and keeps on tickin'!"
A little shaken, the cowboy turns to two fella's on his right, who happen to be sharing a fruity Margarita and says, " So, what do you guys call yours?"
The first man turns to him and proudly exclaims, "FORD, because Quality is Job One." Then he adds, "Have you driven a Ford, lately?" The guy next to him then says, "I call mine CHEVY ... Like A Rock!" And gives a wink.
Even more shaken, the Cowboy has to think for a moment before he comes up with a name for his manhood.
Finally, he turns to the bartender and exclaims, "The name of my penis is SECRET. Now give me a beer."
The bartender begins to pour the cowboy a beer, but with a puzzled look asks, "Why Secret?"
The cowboy says, "Because it's STRONG ENOUGH FOR A MAN, BUT MADE FOR A WOMAN !!
Have a great weekend everyone!
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KEEPING THE FAITH: RANDOM PRAYERS "ON THE DOWNLOAD"
DEAR GOD: Sometimes it is so hard to wait. To wait for new things to happen in my life. To wait for you to answer my prayers. To wait for the open doors that may lead me into a new way of being. During the time of waiting, it seems that all I can think of is having what it is I am waiting for. At times I feel weary of asking and waiting, and I wonder if you really hear my prayers at all, if you are ignoring me, or if you are simply refusing to give me my heart’s desire. A part of me knows that you want my best, and that your time is not my time, but Lord, it is still so hard to wait. Deepen my trust, O Lord, during the times when my heart longs for what can only come in the fullness of time. Give me a calm assurance that your will for me is grander than anything I could ever imagine. Still my mind and heart in your love so that I am mindful of the grace you are draping around me every single day, every single moment. I ask this for the sake of your love. Amen.
10 comments:
Hillarious!
Laughing my butt off! Good One!
LMBAO! That was too funny Keith!
LOL! I liked that!
That was cute!
Good one Fam!
Funny!
I liked that...
Loved the punchline Keith!
Too Funny
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