Friday, January 31, 2014

Weekend Humor

A farmer was selling his peaches door to door. He knocked on a door and a shapely 30-something woman dressed in a very sheer negligee answered the door. He raised his basket to show her the peaches and asked, "Would you like to buy some peaches?" 

She pulled the top of the negligee to one side and asked," Are they as firm as this?" He nodded his head and said, "Yes ma'am," and a little tear ran from his eye. 

Then she pulled the other side of her negligee off asking, "Are they nice and pink like this?" The farmer said, "Yes, yes they are," and a little tear came from the other eye. 

Then she unbuttoned the bottom of her negligee and asked, "Are they as fuzzy as this?" 

He again said, "Yes," and broke down crying. 

She asked, "Why on earth are you crying?" Wiping his eyes he replied, "The drought got my corn, the flood got my soy beans, a tornado leveled my barn, and now I think I'm gonna get screwed out of my peaches!"


Everybody have a super groovy weekend!

4 comments:

Rich in the STL said...

That's funny. I love these.

Grover Tha Playboy said...

BWahahahahahahahahahahaha! Good one Keith!

Tate 2 said...

That was funny!

Angie B. said...

You are certifiable! LOL!




KEEPING THE FAITH: RANDOM PRAYERS "ON THE DOWNLOAD"

DEAR GOD: Sometimes it is so hard to wait. To wait for new things to happen in my life. To wait for you to answer my prayers. To wait for the open doors that may lead me into a new way of being. During the time of waiting, it seems that all I can think of is having what it is I am waiting for. At times I feel weary of asking and waiting, and I wonder if you really hear my prayers at all, if you are ignoring me, or if you are simply refusing to give me my heart’s desire. A part of me knows that you want my best, and that your time is not my time, but Lord, it is still so hard to wait. Deepen my trust, O Lord, during the times when my heart longs for what can only come in the fullness of time. Give me a calm assurance that your will for me is grander than anything I could ever imagine. Still my mind and heart in your love so that I am mindful of the grace you are draping around me every single day, every single moment. I ask this for the sake of your love. Amen.









































































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