Friday, February 7, 2014
Weekend Humor
A couple was getting married, and it was only three days before the wedding. The bride calls her mother with some bad news. "Mom," she says, "I just found out that my fiance's mother has bought the exact same dress as you to wear to the wedding."
The bride's mother thinks for a minute. "Don't worry," she tells her daughter. "I'll just go and buy another dress to wear to the ceremony."
"But mother," says the bride, "that dress cost a fortune. What will you do with it? It's such a waste not to use it."
"Who said I won't use it?" her mother asked. "I'll just wear it to the rehearsal dinner."
II-
During the wedding rehearsal, the groom approached the pastor with an unusual offer: "Look, I'll give you $100 if you'll change the wedding vows. When you get to the part where I'm supposed to promise to 'love, honor and obey' and 'be faithful to her forever,' I'd appreciate it if you'd just leave that out."
He passed the minister a $100 bill and walked away satisfied. On the day of the wedding, when it came time for the groom's vows, the pastor looked the young man in the eye and said: "Will you promise to prostrate yourself before her, obey her every command and wish, serve her breakfast in bed every morning of your life, and swear eternally before God and your lovely wife that you will not ever even look at another woman, as long as you both shall live?"
The groom gulped and looked around, and said in a tiny voice, "Yes," then leaned toward the pastor and hissed: "Hey man, what's wrong with you? I thought we had a deal?"
The pastor put a $100 bill into the groom's hand and whispered: "She made me a better offer."
Have a groovy weekend everybody!
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KEEPING THE FAITH: RANDOM PRAYERS "ON THE DOWNLOAD"
DEAR GOD: You know the emptiness of my heart. Sometimes I wonder if you are there, if you hear, and if there is any hope that my situation will be different. When loneliness looms around me, when my questions are unanswered, when no one seems to care, when days and nights go on and on with no change, when I fall deeper into despair, I pray that you will let your peace fall upon me as gently as the spring rain that waters the earth. Remind me of your unconditional and eternal love for me. Assure me of your presence. Fill my heart with the hope that my life is held in your hand. Lift my pain so that joy may flow freely again through me. I ask this for the sake of your love. Amen.
3 comments:
ROTFLMAO! Good Ones!
ROTFLMAO! Good Ones!
They were both pretty good!
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