Friday, August 8, 2014
Weekend Humor
A man was in court for a double murder, and the judge said, "Young man, You are charged with beating your wife to death with a hammer."
A voice at the back of the courtroom yelled out, "You lousy bastard! If That don't beat all..."
The judge continued, "You are also charged with beating your mother-in-law to death with a hammer."
Again, the voice at the back of the courtroom yelled out, "You damned lying bastard! I swear, I could kill you myself...you lying...liar!"
The judge stopped, looked at the man in the back of the courtroom, and said, "Sir, I can certainly understand your anger and frustration at this crime, but I will not have any more of these outbursts from you, or I shall charge you with contempt! Now is that a problem?"
The man at the back of the court stood up and responded, "For fifteen years, fifteen years! I have lived next door to that bastard, and every time I asked to borrow a hammer, he said he never had one!"
Everybody have a super groovy weekend!
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KEEPING THE FAITH: RANDOM PRAYERS "ON THE DOWNLOAD"
DEAR GOD: My heart is heavy with my own failures. I try to excuse them and explain to myself why they occurred, because I want to be free from the feeling that I am unworthy and incapable of being all that I can be. But I find it easier to accept your forgiveness than to forgive myself. When I try to forgive myself, it seems I only remember and re-play my failures in my mind, and a sense of hopelessness floods over me. Help me to know that my past actions are a part of my growing humanity and that even when I fail to live up to what is your will for me, every single moment can be lived anew. Remind me that refusing to forgive myself only keeps me from experiencing that newness. Assure me of the truth that by casting “my sins into the depth of the sea”, you have freed me to discard them myself and live the next moment as if it were my first, for indeed it is. I ask this for the sake of your love. Amen.
1 comment:
Lawdy, Lawdy! Boy, where you get that stuff?? LOL!! Have a great weekend!!
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