Friday, February 20, 2015

Weekend Humor

A man comes home early from work and shouts, "Honey, I'm home!" No reply. So he goes upstairs and calls from the landing, "Honey, I am home," but still no reply.

 Frustrated, he goes into the bedroom and finds his wife on the bed, stark naked. "Oh Norman, I didn't expect you this early," she says, holding her chest and breathing heavily.

 He thinks she is having an heart attack and runs downstairs to ring for an ambulance. He starts dialing the emergency number when his young daughter starts pulling at his jacket. 

"Dad," she says. "Dad," she says again. "What is it? I'm busy," he says.

 "Uncle Jack is in the bedroom with no clothes on," she tells him. 

He drops the phone and runs back to the bedroom. "You bastard, you f**king bastard," he shouts angrily at Norman. "You bastard! My wife is having a heart attack and you are going around scaring the kids!"

Everyone have a super groovy weekend!

1 comment:

Turned Up said...

Hillarious! Got me a little warm!




KEEPING THE FAITH: RANDOM PRAYERS "ON THE DOWNLOAD"

DEAR GOD: There are times when I feel completely helpless to alter the circumstances in my life. I am powerless to turn around a bad economy, or ensure a favorable report from my doctor, or guarantee my spouse will always love me, or make sure I am never in an accident. When I sense that I have no control over what is occurring in my life, my energy lags and fear and frustration begin to overwhelm me. Let your spirit of peace spill freely over me until I recover my inner calm. Help me remember that it is not control that gives me peace, but knowing that I am loved and beloved by the heart of heaven. Amen.









































































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