A woman got married, but her husband was abusive. She got remarried and
that husband ran out on her. She got married again and that husband
failed in bed.
Finally, she put an ad in the paper: "Looking for a man
who won't abuse me, won't leave me, and won't fail me in bed."
The next
day, the doorbell rings. There is a man with no arms and no legs.
"Hello, I saw your ad in the paper," he says. "Tell me a little about
you." says the woman.
"Well, I have no arms, so I can't hit you. I have no legs, so I
can't run out on you," he replies.
"How do I know you're good in bed?"
she asks.
He smiles salaciously and says, "I rang the doorbell, didn't I?"
Everybody have a super groovy weekend!~
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KEEPING THE FAITH: RANDOM PRAYERS "ON THE DOWNLOAD"
DEAR GOD: You know the emptiness of my heart. Sometimes I wonder if you are there, if you hear, and if there is any hope that my situation will be different. When loneliness looms around me, when my questions are unanswered, when no one seems to care, when days and nights go on and on with no change, when I fall deeper into despair, I pray that you will let your peace fall upon me as gently as the spring rain that waters the earth. Remind me of your unconditional and eternal love for me. Assure me of your presence. Fill my heart with the hope that my life is held in your hand. Lift my pain so that joy may flow freely again through me. I ask this for the sake of your love. Amen.
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