Friday, November 6, 2015

Weekend Humor


1.What's the difference between a whore and a rooster?
A rooster says, CockleDoodleDoo! A whore says, AnyCockleDoo.

2.A man walks up to a large woman on a table and says "Damn! Nice legs."

She giggles like a school girl and replies "You really think so?"

The man says "Hellllllllllll yeah! Most tables would have broken by now. Must be oak."

3.A blonde woman and her boyfriend are making love when she suddenly freezes and stops moving.

Her boyfriend is shocked, "Are you okay? What's wrong?"
 
She replies, "I was watching porn and I saw them doing this, it's called 'buffering'."

and lastly-

4.A man goes to a restaurant where he sees a sign on the wall that says: "If we can't fill your order, we'll give you $500."

So when the waitress comes to his table he orders, "I'll have rye toast with elephant dung."

The waitress writes down his order and calmly walks to the kitchen.

About ten minutes later the manager storms out of the kitchen and lays out $500 on the man's table.

Angry, the manager says, "Are you happy? This is the first time in ten years we haven't had rye bread!"



Okkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkayyyyyyyyyyy! Everybody have a super groovalicious weekend!

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KEEPING THE FAITH: RANDOM PRAYERS "ON THE DOWNLOAD"

DEAR GOD: You know the emptiness of my heart. Sometimes I wonder if you are there, if you hear, and if there is any hope that my situation will be different. When loneliness looms around me, when my questions are unanswered, when no one seems to care, when days and nights go on and on with no change, when I fall deeper into despair, I pray that you will let your peace fall upon me as gently as the spring rain that waters the earth. Remind me of your unconditional and eternal love for me. Assure me of your presence. Fill my heart with the hope that my life is held in your hand. Lift my pain so that joy may flow freely again through me. I ask this for the sake of your love. Amen.









































































"Mommy, can I go to Timmy's blog and play?"



































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Click on image to enlarge for reading



Click on image to enlarge for reading