Bologna!

"My bologna has a first name, it's O-S-C-A-R. My bologna has a second name, it's M-A-Y-E-R. Oh, I love to eat it everyday, and if you ask me why I'll sayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy... 'cause Oscar Mayer has a way with b-o-l-o-g-n- a!"

If you're over a certain age, you probably remember that little jingle from television commercials for Oscar Mayer Bologna and other fine meats. Today, I want to end the month with a somewhat humorous story about a use for bologna that Oscar Mayer never had in mind.

A Holyoke, MA (Don't ask... I never heard of the town either!) man has been arrested after a kilogram of cocaine (That's right, blow!) was found inside a hollowed-out chunk of bologna that was delivered to his home.

Holyoke police say they were tipped off by postal inspectors in Puerto Rico who had been investigating similar shipments. A dog confirmed the presence of coke and the bologna was cut open. (I'm imagining these dogs to be very laid back in their investigations.)

The bologna was then repackaged and an undercover postal inspector delivered it to a Holyoke address at about 4:45 p.m. on Thursday. A woman sitting on the front steps signed for it.

Police then executed a search warrant and arrested a 30-year-old man on a cocaine trafficking charge. Police say the cocaine had a street value of $100,000. The investigation is ongoing.

Like I said... Oscar Mayer never imagined his bologna being used like this!

America The Divided

Like a lot of you , I knew about the two rallies in Washington, DC on Saturday... I even watched a little of both on webcasts. I saw Glenn Beck and Sarah Palin's rally, heard them invoke the name of Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr., and heard them talk about patriotism and how we need to support our men and women in uniform. I also saw Rev. Al Sharpton's counter march and heard him tell supporters, "Don't drink the tea!" (One of those phrases I wish I had coined!), and just held my head in sorrow.

One march, mostly made up of White people and a few Blacks, who's real agenda is to thwart this president; and another march with mostly Blacks and a few Whites, who probably support the president, but are definitely against the people in the other march. I was struck with a wave of sadness because all of these people... all of these American citizens... all opposed to the other American citizens for ideological and racial reasons... when there is so much work to be done to straighten out America! Yes, it saddens me.

You've got the 6% or less of the population that has all of the wealth, that truly owns everything there is, and their political mouthpeice that wants to suck this country dry of all of it's resources. And then, thereis the 94% of us... regardless of race, national origin, gender, or what have you... that have to work for a living. The sad thing is, the wealthy 6% have been able to sucessfully convince quite a few people... people, mind you, who aren't part of that 6%... that they have a common ground. This in-and-of itself is a stroke of genius.

It's done by using racism, classism, sexism, and any ol' kinda "ism" that divides people. Us against them... Black against White, straight against gay, man against woman, true ''Americans"against immigrants... and anything else that can be used to divide people is being used. It never fails... hasn't failed yet! If all of these people... the Tea Party folks, a lot of whom have little more than me (if not less), could see beyond their blind racism and xenophobia, they'd understand that they are being played.

I heard a couple of them talk about how they didn't have health care, but they didn't want the "government" telling them what kind of health care to get. Could anything be more stupid? They've accused the president of "wasteful spending"... but had he not bailed out the auto industry and Banks, can you imagine how bad things would be right now? I mean things are still bad, but they would most certainly be worse. When he initiated financial reform to stop banks and credit cards from ripping off the consumers, didn't that effect them too?

How stupid are these people? Do they really think that our little adventure in Iraq actually made America or anyone else safer? This is the fantasy that the mouthpeices of the wealthy feed certain gullible people in our populace... and a number of them, fueled by racism, etc., always buy it hook, line, and sinker. If we all could pause a minute and really take a look at things the way they are, how different America could be. What frightens the 6% the most is the thought of all of the people coming together... that's the last thing they would ever want. An aware, educated, and informed American public.

That's why they feed you with so many so-called "reality shows" and other non-sense that didn't used to make the front page of responsible newspapers and magazines. They want this country to be divided. Actually, this country has always been divided. It's always been them against us and us against them. I guess it's just human nature. On a day when we should have been honoring something Dr. King did 47 years ago, the American people... all of the American people... made a damn mockery of it! And for that, I'm very sad.

Random Thoughts

1. I keep threatening to go on a blog break and just read... (other peoples' blogs and about four novels I purchased this summer).

2. I'm going to read, but I know I'll get an idea for one (or now all three) of my blogs and be at it again.

3. I picked up Zane's new novel "The Hot Box" and "Known to Evil " by Walter Mosley. I'm going to start reading one next week.

4. I don't believe in reposts. I like to keep my blogs fresh.

5. I'm curious about Twitter and starting to get bored with Facebook.

6. A lot of talented bloggers inspired and helped me out when I got in the blogging game. I just hope that I've lived up to their example of excellence.

7. Is it just me or was anybody else confused at the ending of the movie "Inception"?

8. Is the art of subtlety all but dead in music, art, writing, and media in general?

9. I've written a lot of long form fiction and short stories for my "Escapades" blog, but I really want to concentrate on and get back to my poetry!

10. I'm blessed that a lot of my favorite bloggers are also my friends on Facebook!

Weekend Humor

A husband, proud of the fact that his wife has given birth to two children, begins to call her "Mother of two" rather than by her first name. The wife, amused at first, chuckles. A few years down the road, the wife grows tired of her husband's description.

He'd say... "Hey, Mother of two, can you grab me a Corona!" or "Hey, Mother of two, what's for dinner tonight, baby?" Finally, while attending a party with her husband, he jokingly calls out... "Hey, Mother of two, it's time to roll."

The wife seized the moment and shouted back... "I'll be right with you, Father of one!"

Places To Go In DC If You're A Tea Bagger!

You know, if this wasn't true, this would actually make a great piece for my "Weekend Humor" recurring post on Fridays....

A member of the Tea Party has put together a guide for those who are traveling to participate in Glenn Beck’s "Restoring Honor" Rally. Fox News' Glenn Beck is hosting the rally on the steps of the Lincoln Memorial on the anniversary of Dr. Martin Luther King's "I Have A Dream" speech.

The only thing more silly, more utterly ridiculous than the sheer foolishness, as well as brazeness of Glenn Beck trying to usurp this historic moment dedicated to unity and racial progress with a rally dedicated to division and racial superiority and stupidity, is the travel guide put out by the Tea Party to help visitors navigate Chocolate City.

It isn't surprising that Glenn Beck, who isn't half the man that Dr. Martin Luther King was, would stoop to something so low and so stupid... but it is surprising that someone who has reportedly lived in Washington DC for 20 years would make such ridiculous statements about the city.

The guide warns of (get this) "overly sensitive African immigrants and the dangers of taking the yellow/green Metro lines, which lead to mostly black neighborhoods. Newsflash: Washington DC is 55% African-American, so I'm pretty sure that all of the train lines go to black neighborhoods. Isn't it a trip how whoever wrote this mess wants Tea Party members to avoid those neighborhoods for safety concerns, but seem to be cool with black people living there and facing the same dangers day in and day out.

Now, exactly which America does the Tea Party stand for? The picture is becoming crystal clear isn't it? Are you checking this out my Black Republican brothers and sisters and Black conservatives? They are talking about YOU and people who look just like you... possibley some of your relatives that still live in these neighborhoods where there are "safety concerns". Did they send you guys a manual about where you shouldn't travel amongst them or when you should get out of dodge... like when they start drinking and their true nature comes out?

All I'm going to say is, when they start pulling out the hoods and bedsheets, make like Stepin' Fetchit... "Feets don't fail me now" and get in the wind!

Blog Tax? (Are They serious?)

Last night, my wife made me aware of the City of Philadelphia's plan to tax bloggers. I thought this was a joke at first until I read an article in which it appears that this is exactly what the city is planning to do... Excuse me, already doing.

I read an article about this (in of all places) The New York Times. I figure if a paper in New York is writing about something happening in Philly, chances are whatever it is must only be happening in Philly and hasn't happened in New York or anywhere else yet. I'm used to reading in Philadelphia papers about a new craze that has started in New York or Los Angeles. But, I digress... getting back to the subject at hand...

CNN Money said and I'll quote it here... "Philadelphia bloggers were abuzz this week about a city-wide move to crack down on citizens running a business without a license, which includes any local bloggers running ads on their sites."

The weekly free newspaper, Philadelphia City Paper, kicked off the hullabaloo with an article spotlighting several small-scale bloggers who were startled to receive letters from the city demanding that they shell out up to $300 for a license allowing them to operate a local business. One of the recipients had raked in a whopping profit of $ 11.00! Eleven freakin dollars over two years from his blog and these cats want him to either pay $ 50.00 a year or $ 300.00 for a "lifetime" license. They're all been smokin' crack in City Hall!

The city's argument is that in Philly, anyone "conducting commercial activity" is required to buy a business privilege license that costs $ 300 for a lifetime or $50 per year. Businesses must also pay taxes on any profit they make. This is how the Philly bloggers landed on the city's radar: Those who followed the law and reported their blog's revenue to the IRS triggered tripwires set up to find local businesses operating without licenses. "The IRS is the fastest way to find them, though we have other avenues that we don't advertise."

City officials say they did not target blogs specifically... only sites running ads and, therefore, making money, are subject to the business license requirements. Just so you know, none of my blogs have any advertisements, so it doesn't apply to me.

"Some of those blogger folks didn't realize when their passions became a business," the city rep said. "We haven't singled anybody out. We love the self-employed. Philly is a city with a creative economy." I don't use profanity on this blog, so I won't say what they are all full of, but you can figure it out.

Ironically though, when I started this blog, I seriously considered running ads for profits and now, I'm glad I didn't. I wouldn't pay the city a red cent even if I was running ads. What they are attempting to do is unconstitutional and I'm waiting for someone to challenge them in court. Stay tuned...

The Maverick of All Bloggers!

The Eye-Opener!

I'm always interested in what my Republican Brothers and Sisters think. No, really... I am. I hear their White counter parts all the time on Fox News and everywhere else. Since I only know a few Blacks who will admit to being Republican, It is always nice to read a tidbit from them on how they feel about an issue.

Last week, I wrote about Dr. Laura Schlessinger and the controversy around some advice she gave a Black female caller who was complaining about her white husband and the insensitive comments he, members of his family, and his friends made when she was around.

Not surprisingly, Dr. Laura was not sympathetic to the female caller at all. She, in fact, told her she was too "thin-skinned, had a chip on her shoulder, and shouldn't have married outside of her race if she was that sensitive". She went around the barn, asking how can we have racism when we just elected a Black president? (Really Laura, are you really that niave?) I wasn't surprised when the Republican's new poster girl, Sarah Palin, said she supported Dr. Laura on Twitter... but, I did wonder what Black Republicans thought about this matter.

Today, a leading Black Republican said he was upset about Sarah Palin's "tweet" supporting Dr. Laura Schlessinger, the radio talk show host who couldn't stop saying "nigger" last week. Brother (and I use this word lightly) Timothy Johnson, who as chairman of the Frederick Douglass Foundation (Frederick Douglass was a Republican? Who knew?) works to get African-American Republican officials elected and increase the ranks of Black members of the party, says that Sarah Palin needs to "clarify her defense of Dr. Laura Schlessinger." He also says Republican National Committee Chairman Michael Steele needs to speak out against Palin. I have been waiting for a statement from him myself!

The former Alaska governor made waves Wednesday by defending conservative radio talker Dr. Laura's use of the "n-word" in a conversation with a radio caller. Schlessinger has since announced that she is stepping down from her top-rated program. "Don't retreat! Reload!" Sarah Palin wrote on Twitter (Who is she, Annie Oakley?), adding that the effort to "silence the radio host isn't American and is "not fair". Who is trying to silence her? From what I understand, she is making this transition on her own.

"Sarah Palin is not the chair of the Republican Party", Brother Johnson says. "She is a leading Republican, but from what I can tell, many black Republicans don't use Sarah Palin as a benchmark." (I should hope not!) "I hope Chairman Steele comes out in relationship to this issue. You can support the sinner and not the sin. We need to separate respecting the doctor vs. respecting what she says." he said. "If she chooses to run for president in 2012, she is going to have to answer to black Republicans", Johnson says of Palin. Oh really? I wonder if it's enough of them for it to matter to her or whoever gets the nomination. Although, you never know.

Lots of luck to our Republican brothers and sisters, who don't seem to understand that dissing Black people has been an essential part of the Republican political playbook since the days of the "Great Communicator", Ronald Reagan. Sarah Palin's "tweet" is sure to rally those among the GOP faithful who are tired of mincing words and beating around the bush about er, uh, Negroes. Uh, yeah!

(Note: The speaker in the above photo is not Brother Timothy Johnson or a photo connected to this incident in any way. It's just an angry mob of Black people that I thought was funny and just perfect for this post-LOL!)

Check Out My 3rd (& Last) Blog!

GOOD FOODIE
My adventures in good cuisine and the places that serve it!

For the benefit of my readers who haven't discovered it yet, I would like to extend an invitation for you to stop by my new blog and see what's cooking! One thing my wife and I like to do is eat out at nice (and sometimes, not so nice) restaurants. From time to time, this blog will feature recipes, reviews of restaurants, and healthy eating information.

After I get this blog "off and running", the posts will not be published quite as frequently as Keith's Space and Escapades, but I do hope you will enjoy what it has to offer too. Just click on the screenshot or text link above and you're there! WARNING: If you're hungry, you might want to stop by later, after you've had something to eat (smile). If you're dieting or fasting, all I can say is... proceed with caution-LOL!

Saturday Seven (7 Benefits Of Kissing)

1. A kiss boosts immunity. (I'm not making this up, medical tests have proven it!) Anytime you lock lips, you're not just swapping spit... you're also swapping germs. A majority of the bacteria in your saliva is common to everyone, but around 20% are unique to the individual. So, the process of kissing triggers your body to produce antibodies to fight the foreign bacteria. It's like a vaccination, minus the hour in the waiting room and sore arm. Of course, this positive side effect is only relevant if you're smooching a healthy person... you wouldn't want a "vaccination" from, let's say, the guy or girl at the bar with a mysterious blister and runny nose. Serious e-w-w-w factor! Now, moving right along....

2. A good kiss busts stress. (I'll say!) A recent Lafayette College study found that when you're kissing someone, your body releases oxytocin, a calming chemical; endorphins, which are the feel-good chemicals; and dopamine, which promotes bonding. Aim for a 20-second smooch to get mood-boosting benefits.

3. A kiss may ease allergies. A study in Japan found that 30 minutes of kissing (time to revert back to middle school make-out days) can slow histamine production, providing some relief from sneezing and running nose symptoms associated with hay fever. My college room mate used to call me the king of trivia. Knowing these amazing, but uninteresting-to-anyone-but-me facts have brought me a long way!

4. Kissing is actually good for your teeth. (I kid you not!) Even during non-sloppy exchanges, kissing produces bonus saliva. This helps neutralize acids which can cause decay and washes away food particles and cavity-inducing plaque that's beginning to form. Some experts even think that the mineral salts in saliva may help bolster enamel, giving you stronger chompers.

5. Kissing actually counts as a light workout! It's estimated that kissing can burn up to 6 calories a minute and that you enlist approximately 30 facial muscles. This may not exactly erase cellulite or give you flat abs, but you can feel slightly less guilty about having another glass of wine or ordering post-date dessert.

6. Kissing, if done correctly, can lead to something more... (Need I say anything else?)

7. Finally, kissing is fun! You could be doing something a lot worse.

Weekend Humor

Sam Jones enters his local bar holding a frog and an iguana. He sets them down on the bar and says to Pete the bartender, "I bet you $1,000 that my frog here can sing any song you can think of." The bartender says, "Okay. How 'bout 'Blue Moon'?"

The man whispers something to the frog and the frog starts singing "Blue Moon." That's friggin' amazin", says Pete the bartender as he slaps down $1,000. "I'll bet ya another G that my iguana here can do that to", says Sam Jones. Pete says with a shrug, "Okay. I can believe a frog, but not an iguana. You're on! Have him sing the "Star-Spangled Banner."

Sam Jones whispers something to the iguana and it sings the Star Spangled Banner. As Pete hands over another $1,000, Moe Howard, a local businessman comes up and says, "I just saw that and it was amazin'. Listen, I wanna buy your iguana for $100,000."

Sam said... "What? One hunnard large? Sho!" He exchanged the iguana for the money and Moe Howard left. Pete the bartender shook his head and said, "What! Are you nuts? You could have made a bundle with that iguana kid!" Sam looked at Pete, winked, and said... "Oh, the iguana can't sing. The frog's a ventriloquist."

The Doctor Is Out!

Dr. Laura Schlessinger

I wasn't going to touch this (it's been all over Facebook, Twitter, and blogs all week), but today I heard that Dr. Laura is leaving the air and her reason, "to keep her first amendment rights." Oh, poor, poor her... nobody's taking her rights. As long as she's making money for her radio network, she is free to say whatever she damn well pleases. You see that Don Imus and Howard Stern are still on the air.

Anyway, you had to be living under a rock to not know about this one, but Dr. Laura Schlessinger says she's shutting down her 30 year old syndicated radio program at the end of the year. Her announcement on "Larry King Live" last night comes just a week after she repeatedly used the N-word while taking a call on the air from a black woman who wanted to discuss her interracial marriage.

According to E! Online, she told King... "My contract is up for my radio show at the end of the year and I've made the decision not to do radio anymore. The reason is I want to regain my First Amendment rights. I want to be able to say what's on my mind and in my heart and what I think is helpful and useful without somebody getting angry, some special interest group deciding this is the time to silence a voice of dissent and attack affiliates, attack sponsors. I'm sort of done with that."

That's what people like her always say after they've offended millions of people. Suddenly, they become the victims. She said (unfortunately), she's not retiring or quitting but rather, hopes to be "stronger and freer to say the things that I believe need to be said for people in this country."

Dr. Laura Schlessinger, 63 years old, had issued an apology the day after her verbal N-word gaffe and said on her website August 11th that said she was wrong in using the word for what she called an attempt to make a philosophical point. "I articulated the N-word all the way out, more than one time" (It was 5 times within five minutes but, who's counting?), Dr. Laura said in comments from the opening of her radio show that she posted on her site." And, that was wrong. I'll say it again... that was wrong."

Well, of course she's saying that now. She said... "I realized I had made a horrible mistake, and was so upset, I could not finish the show." Dr. Laura said she pulled herself off the air at the end of the hour. (Oh, I bet she did!) Corinne Baldassano, an executive with Dr. Laura's production company, Take On The Day LLC, said the talk show host plans to pursue opportunities through her website, books, podcasts, and a YouTube channel.

At least two national sponsors of her radio program, General Motors and Motel 6, owned by Accor SA, have pulled out of the show heard on nearly 200 stations, Baldassano said. During the exchange on that August 10th show, Schlessinger said an African-American woman who called herself Jade, was "too sensitive" for complaining that her white husband's friends made racist comments about her and in their home as though she wasn't there.

Dr. Laura, according to her website, is a best-selling author of 11 adult books and four children's books, which range from the provocative "The Proper Care & Feeding of Husbands" to the children's book "Why Do You Love Me?" She describes herself as a supporter of children and family values. (Isn't everybody?) She also writes a monthly column for NewsMax and posts a daily blog and weekly YouTube videos. This isn't the first time Dr. Laura has made a politically incorrect faux paux... In 2008, on the TODAY show, Schlessinger said, "I hold women accountable for tossing out perfectly good men by not treating them with the love, kindness, respect, and attention they need."

In May 2007, the Santa Barbara News Press cancelled her newspaper column after the Pentagon launched an investigation into objectionable material found on her son's MySpace page. In October 2000, Schlessinger's negative comments about homosexuality on her television show inspired gay activists to campaign to get her off the air. She called homosexuality deviant and derivative of "biological error", the New York Times reported at the time. She published a letter of apology in Variety, the Hollywood trade paper.

It just amazes me that people like her, Rush Limbaugh, Glenn Beck, and that harpie Ann Coulter exercise their right to free speech to defame and insult minorities... gays, women, etc., but scream like little stuck pigs when these same groups exercise their right to not patronize businesses that bank roll their right to say such hateful things.

She has a right to say and believe anything she wants... and I have a right to not listen and to not patronize any business that supports her beliefs. That's the way the game is played... always has been, always will be.

I was listening to the entire broadcast. She was trying to make a point. Se wasn't using the word in a racist manner. She did (uh) get a little fascinated with the word for a minute, but one thing she was saying that rang true was this... on HBO and Showtime comedy specials that feature Black comedians and on 99% of hip-hop records, young African-Americans are calling each other the N-word. What is a white person to think?

We "African-Americans" keep giving people like the good doctor a stick to crack us on the head with! What can I say? Now that the doctor is going off the air, maybe I should put in a call to her network for that long-wanted radio show I've been dreaming of... Stay tuned!

I Really Was Raised By A Village

I really was raised by a village when I think about it. My grandfather created my love for hearing a good story... he was reading to me, before I could hold a book in my hands and he always had a great story to tell, especially about people and their nature. He would usually supplement people for animals who behaved like these people. He was a very imaginative man. This led to my love of reading. It started with the Sunday color "funnies" or comic strips and led to bigger things. For their part, my grandmother and my mother did the same thing with the reading... and later on, me reading to them while they were cooking or whatever. By the time I was 10 or 11 years old, I was cruising libraries and reading the newspapers.

As far as school was concerned, there was no notion of failure. My homework was checked every night and if there was a written report, my mother went over it with a "fine-tooth comb"... nothing me or my brother wrote went out of that house without her seal of approval. If either of us got anything below a "C", there was hell to pay (for us) and a talk with the teacher. Despite anything else I was doing out in the street, there were a few teachers I had who would tell you I misbehaved in class... wasn't gonna happen. I was well-behaved and well-mannered, at least in school. Outside was a whole 'nother story, but that's another blog post for another day.

It's a shame that this was not and is not the case in every household... especially in the households of young black males. You see, I always assumed that I was going to graduate from high school and my mother informed me the second day of my life in 1958 that I was going to college... that was a done deal before I was potty-trained. Unfortunately, today it is a hit and miss situation for a lot of black males. A recent report found that only 47% of black males graduated from high school in the 2007-2008 school year... and graduation rates are just a part of the troubling statistics.

The report's authors stated that the results of the eighth grade reading assessment test scores, which measure how many black males read at or above the proficiency level, "should set off alarm bells." The "best" score was a dramatically low: 15% (Kentucky, New Jersey), while other states only averaged 5% (Mississippi, Nevada). According to this report, "more than twice as many black students are classified as ''mentally retarded'' in spite of research demonstrating that the percentages of students from all groups are approximately the same at each intelligence level." The report adds, "the persistent over-classification of black male students as 'mentally retarded' reflects, at best, a lack of professional development in this area for teachers and other staff." I shudder to think what would have happened to an administrator who tried to classify me as that back then.

And, at a time when more and more jobs require advanced knowledge of math and technology, more than four times as many white male students take advanced placement math and science courses as compared to black males. Another troubling aspect of the report is the apparent disparity between states providing opportunities for young black men to succeed. For example, the relative success and wealth of a town is definitely not synonymous with good outcomes: Only 22% of black high school males graduated from the Palm Beach County Florida public schools and only 28% graduated from New York City public schools, as compared to 79% in Newark, New Jersey.

New Jersey is an example of what can happen when a state works to "level the playing field." About 20 years ago, New Jersey's highest court ruled in favor of a group that sued to "equalize" the funding between suburban and urban school districts. Since then, New Jersey's urban and/or less wealthy school districts have received substantially higher funding for kindergarten and pre-school programs, increased teacher training, and more health and social services to address the needs of poor and lower-income children. The schools also upgraded facilities and improved security. In the current Schott report, all these measures were listed as "conditions for success."

But, despite all of those measures, the real measures start at home. These young men (and young ladies) have to be nurtured in the home, the same way I was growing up. It has to be instilled in them early that education is important and the best way to succeed in life... even if that sucess means just being able to take care of yourself. This has to be done. Our children, our young people all need that village!