Weekend Humor

Woman: Is there a problem, Officer?
Officer: Ma’am, you were speeding.
Woman: Oh, I see.
Officer: Can I see your license please?
Woman: I’d give it to you but I don’t have
one.

 
Officer: Don’t have one?
Woman: Lost it 4 times for drunk driving.
Officer: I see…Can I see your vehicle
registration papers please.

... Woman: I can’t do that.
Officer: Why not?

Woman: I stole this car.
Officer: Stole it?
Woman: Yes, and I killed and hacked up
the owner.

 
Officer: You what?
Woman: His body parts are in plastic bags
in the trunk if you want to see.

 
The Officer looks at the woman and slowly
backs away to his car and calls for back up.
Within minutes 5 police cars circle the car.
A senior officer slowly approaches the car,
clasping his half drawn gun.
Officer2: Ma’am, could you step out of
your vehicle please!
The woman steps out of her vehicle.
Woman: Is there a problem sir?

Officer2: One of my officers told me that
you have stolen this car and murdered the
owner.
Woman: Murdered the owner?
Officer2: Yes, could you please open the
trunk of your car, please.
The woman opens the trunk, revealing
nothing but an empty trunk.
Officer2: Is this your car, ma’am?
Woman: Yes, here are the registration
papers. 

 The officer is quite stunned.

Officer2: One of my officers claims that
you do not have a driving license.
The woman digs into her handbag and pulls
out a clutch purse and hands it to the
officer. The officer snaps opens the clutch
purse and examines the license. He looks
quite puzzled.

Officer2: Thank you ma’am, one of my
officers told me you didn’t have a license,
that you stole this car, and that you
murdered and hacked up the owner.

Woman: "Bet you the lying bastard told you I was speeding too, didn't he?" she said.