15 Things You Don't Say To A Pregnant Woman!
15. "You know, looking at her, you'd never guess that she just had a baby."
14. "I sure hope your thighs aren't gonna stay that flabby forever."
13. "I finished the Oreos."
12. "Darned if you aren't about five pounds away from a surprise visit from that Richard Simmons fella."
11. "Fred at the office passed a stone the size of a pea. Boy, that's gotta hurt."
10. "Not to imply anything, but I don't think the kid weighs 40 pounds."
9. "I'm jealous. Why can't men experience the joy of childbirth?"
8. "Are your ankles supposed to look like that?"
7. "Get your own ice cream."
6. "Geez, you're awfully puffy-looking today."
5. "Got milk?"
4. "Maybe we should name the baby after my secretary, Tawny."
3. "Man! That rose tattoo on your hip is the size of Madagascar!"
2. "Retaining water? Yeah, like the Hoover Dam retains water."
1. "You don't have the guts to pull that trigger."
Everybody have a Groovy Weekend!
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KEEPING THE FAITH: RANDOM PRAYERS "ON THE DOWNLOAD"
DEAR GOD: I feel so uncertain, so unsure. I want to trust that you are present, that you are acting on my behalf, and that you hear and will answer my prayers. Yet, my confidence is spent, my faith flat. You speak in my heart and tell me to seek your face, and I am longing for the sureness of your presence, the touch of your breath, the warmth of your love. In my doubt, O God, let your Spirit hover over me with the gentleness of angel’s wings, until I am opened to faith and once again recognize the pattern of your face. I ask this for the sake of your love. Amen.
1 comment:
So true...Hillarious!
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