15 Things You Don't Say To A Pregnant Woman!
15. "You know, looking at her, you'd never guess that she just had a baby."
14. "I sure hope your thighs aren't gonna stay that flabby forever."
13. "I finished the Oreos."
12. "Darned if you aren't about five pounds away from a surprise visit from that Richard Simmons fella."
11. "Fred at the office passed a stone the size of a pea. Boy, that's gotta hurt."
10. "Not to imply anything, but I don't think the kid weighs 40 pounds."
9. "I'm jealous. Why can't men experience the joy of childbirth?"
8. "Are your ankles supposed to look like that?"
7. "Get your own ice cream."
6. "Geez, you're awfully puffy-looking today."
5. "Got milk?"
4. "Maybe we should name the baby after my secretary, Tawny."
3. "Man! That rose tattoo on your hip is the size of Madagascar!"
2. "Retaining water? Yeah, like the Hoover Dam retains water."
1. "You don't have the guts to pull that trigger."
Everybody have a Groovy Weekend!
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KEEPING THE FAITH: RANDOM PRAYERS "ON THE DOWNLOAD"
DEAR GOD: Sometimes anger seems so near to the surface of my life. An unwelcome word, the remembrance of a past hurt, a disappointment I had not expected can make my emotions swirl with the force of a small cyclone. Sometimes my heart feels hot, my nerves feel edgy, my mind feels like lit dynamite. And sometimes, I just turn silent, go inward, cut myself off from anything and anyone that could ease the throbbing inside. I hold on to my anger, as if to let it go would render the reason for my anger meaningless. I pray that your great love will burn away my anger and leave me settled in the cool breeze of your presence. Help me let go, not only of the anger, but of what made me angry in the first place. Let me breathe deep the wonder and peace of love. Amen.
1 comment:
So true...Hillarious!
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