A
very loud, unattractive, mean-acting woman walks into Wal-Mart with her
two kids in tow, screaming obscenities at them all the way through the
entrance.
The Wal-Mart Greeter says, "Good morning and welcome to
Wal-Mart .... Nice children you've got there - are they twins?"
The ugly
woman stops screaming long enough to say, "Hell no they aren’t, the
oldest one, he's 9 and the younger one, she's 7. Why the hell would you
think they're twins? Do you really think they look alike?"
"No, I don't." replies
the greeter, "I just couldn't believe you got laid twice!"
Have a super groovy weekend everybody!
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KEEPING THE FAITH: RANDOM PRAYERS "ON THE DOWNLOAD"
DEAR GOD: My heart is heavy with my own failures. I try to excuse them and explain to myself why they occurred, because I want to be free from the feeling that I am unworthy and incapable of being all that I can be. But I find it easier to accept your forgiveness than to forgive myself. When I try to forgive myself, it seems I only remember and re-play my failures in my mind, and a sense of hopelessness floods over me. Help me to know that my past actions are a part of my growing humanity and that even when I fail to live up to what is your will for me, every single moment can be lived anew. Remind me that refusing to forgive myself only keeps me from experiencing that newness. Assure me of the truth that by casting “my sins into the depth of the sea”, you have freed me to discard them myself and live the next moment as if it were my first, for indeed it is. I ask this for the sake of your love. Amen.
2 comments:
LOL! GOOD ONE!
LOL! Keith, I like that one!! Have a great weekend!!
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