Weekend Update

I can't believe it's the middle of summer already, can you? Man, how time flies! Usually, what I'm about to tell you is saved for Facebook, but this is definitely more than the 142 characters that FB allows...

My office does something called "A Day of Service" annually. Last year was the first year we did it and it went over well with somebody! Nobody I know personally, but somebody with enough clout to ask us to do it again this year-LOL! This day of service now takes the place of the retreat we used to have every year. We would come in dressed any way we saw fit, get on a bus, and spend the day at the beach. We would return to our office around 3:00pm and then, released for the day.

Don't get me wrong... I think a day of service is a great idea. It just pales in comparison to a day at the beach! Anyway, this past Friday, a third of the office went to a homeless shelter and handed out meals; another third helped out with the children at the Please Touch Museum; and the third of the office that included me worked outside at the "Schuylkill Banks". Now, let me explain to you what this is...

Over the last 10 years, federal stimulus money and some grants were used to renovate an entire area underneath the Walnut Street, Chestnut Street, and Market Street bridges that was mostly an overgrown-grass wasteland and turned into a dumping ground for trash. Well, the grass was cut, walkways were paved, and new bridges and ramps were built connecting this area to the bridges and streets above it. Street lights and benches were installed in the area, which extended all the way up to the Philadelphia Art Museum. Today, people can ride bikes, skate, skateboard, and jog through the area, while others picnic and just chill. Coffee shops and eateries are planned for the near future.

My crew was supposed to just walk up and down this two-mile area and police it by cleaning up the trash... but much to everyone's surprise, there was very little trash to clean-up. The Development Authority employees do a fantastic job of cleaning this area, so we did do some landscaping and planted a few small trees instead. After the work was completed, we were treated to a delicious lunch at a place called "Mikey's", a new bar and grill in the area. We had Baked Ziti, cold pasta, salads, an array of sandwiches, and a ticket that allowed you to have two free drinks from the bar. You can't beat that! It was a short work day and I think everyone from all three work crews were happy just to have a day away from the office.



On Saturday, my cousin got married! I said before that time flies and it seems like only yesterday that he and my daughter were both eight years old and chasing each other at my own wedding, some 23 years ago. Today, both of them are grown, married, and have two children of their own. It kinda makes you feel old! I knew my cousin "when" and now he's a grown man with a wife, a son, a daughter, a home, and he is in business for himself. It makes me proud to see him now as a man, and it's always nice to see the whole family together for a joyous occasion and not a funeral. While I'm at it, allow me to introduce you to my Cousin Arlene, who is also one of my loyal commentators. This photo of us was taken during the wedding reception.



I'm sure this was much more than 142 characters, but that was my weekend! How was yours?

Janazah

ART: "Janazah" (Artist Unknown)

My co-worker's husband died suddenly early Friday morning. It was kinda weird because just the day before, she and I were talking and she said that he was sick. A person can be sick and there are several degrees of being sick. You can have a cold or the flu-kinda sick or you can be on your deathbed-kinda sick. She didn't say how sick he was and my mind didn't go there.

They had just gotten married on September 30th of last year and I recall her telling me that her husband had taken ill right around the Thanksgiving holidays. She was very depressed then. Around Christmas, I inquired about him again and her spirits were up because he was home and he appeared to be doing better. I was surprised to hear last month that he was back in the hospital again. I didn't inquire about his illness. We are friendly on the job and I would even go as far as to say we are somewhat friends... but, not friendly enough that I feel as though I could inquire that deeply about something like that. That may sound a bit harsh but, it is what it is... every relationship and every friendship is different.

Friday morning, when I didn't see my co-worker at the coffee shop, I figured that she just took the day off. I was saddened to hear that her new husband of five months had passed away. She waited a long time to find him and I do know that right after they got married and she returned from her honeymoon, I'd never seen her happier. They were both Muslim and in that religion's custom, the body can not be above ground over three sundowns so, his Janazah (funeral) service was held today. I attended with four of my other co-workers and it was the first time I'd been in a Mosque in over thirty years.

I knew the ceremony would be different from the Christian ceremony that I am accustomed to. First off, everyone must remove their shoes. One thing my mother always taught me in addition to bathing daily was to always wear clean underwear and socks. I have to thank her... I've always been fastidious like that and, Thank God, today was no different.

After removing our footwear, the men were ushered into a separate room, blocked by a glass partition. The women (including the widow) were seated in an adjoining room. The casket was in the room with us. The Iman said a prayer and all of the men got on their knees and kneeled with their faces to the floor.

The prayer was in Arabic so, I couldn't tell you what was said but, we kneeled and then we stood up a number of times before the prayer was through. Next, we stood in quiet meditation around the casket. In the quiet somberness, I heard someone crying softly... I believe it was the brother of the deceased. Several men walked over to him and put their arms around him. Then, there was nothing but a very peaceful quietness and the pall bears took the casket out the backdoor.

As we all dismissed, I walked over into the room where the women were and embraced my co-worker. I was politely told that I could not be in the room with the women and I quietly walked out into the street. It was a very quiet and efficient ceremony. It started on time and was over in 50 minutes. I wish all funerals and weddings could run that well. I stand and applaud these brothers and sisters in this mosque.

As I rode back to work in my co-worker's car, I was silent. I was thankful that I've had nearly twenty years to love and enjoy my spouse. I was sad that my co-worker only had five months and I thought about how life can be unfair to some people sometimes but, how we have to go on and how we have to savor every moment in our lives that is good. At times like this, these moments help us to keep going on.

The Grass Does Appear Greener

I thought I might be forced to blog about an incident involving a certain young celebrity couple that occurred in the wee hours of the morning between Saturday and Sunday but, fortunately today I won't have to. If I know right, the subject is probably being discussed on a number of other blogs so, I'll hold my commentary on that subject until all of the facts are out. Instead, I'm going to talk about a person of interest that I ran into today. I have never named this person but, I did write two blog posts last year with this person's lifestyle in mind and the affect that it had on me (see Related Posts links below).

This person, who attended college with me for awhile and majored in journalism as I did, was actually living the life that I wanted for myself. He actually did something with his degree. He was doing freelance writing for a couple of credible magazines (at least that's what he told me at the time). He set his own hours, didn't really answer to anybody, and when in New York or Los Angeles, he got to hobnob with athletes, rappers, and actors that I could never dream of even meeting. That was living large in my eyes and that was the life I once desired for myself.

Well, yesterday I happened to run into my friend in the train station where I was sampling some strong Cuban coffee and reading the newspaper, while bringing my blog up on a co-worker's BlackBerry and doing my best imitation of 12Klye-lololol! He asked me if my job was "hiring" and I was shocked! The guy who was me or who I thought I would be was asking about a straight job?

He went on to say that he hadn't had a decent writing gig for a while and his bank account was starting to shrink. He and his girlfriend had broken up and he had to move out of the Brownstone they shared in New York City and return here to Philly. (He's actually from Chester but, has no desire to move back there.) He said he was currently staying with a young lady we knew from college but, wearing out his welcome there.

I asked him if he had any celebrity friends who could help him out because he had once shown me photos of himself with people like Allen Iverson, Jay-Z, Charles Barkley, Lebron James, Kobe Bryant, Nas, Stevie Wonder, etc. He said that he didn't really know them and that he had just been at events where they were and posed in pictures with them (not at all how he portrayed himself to me last fall, when he was in town last).

And, what about all the cool clothes, the nice car, and the electronic toys he had? He had to sell the car... he still had the wardrobe ("Da gear is real man, you know I was always about the gear!")... as for the electronic "toys", he still had his BlackBerry but little else. He told me that practically all but one of his five credit cards was maxed out and he was just about at the end of his rope.

I felt bad for my former college associate but, not so bad about myself anymore. I know, that's horrible and I'm going to psychic hell for that but, I'm just keepin' it real... that's how I felt at the moment. I still would've liked meeting all of those people, being invited to a bunch of free events like he had, and living to write about them but, maybe I don't have it so bad after all. My credit cards aren't maxed out (I hardly use them) and I have a roof over my head. I'm married and not living with some girl. Best of all (for the time being), I'm still gainfully employed. (Knock on wood.)

I gave him a couple of bucks and my cell phone number. I also took his cell phone number and told him I would keep my nose open and give him a call if I saw or heard anything. He told me that he had gotten in touch with a few other people we went to college with and they told him the same thing. He has a pretty extensive resume so maybe, even in this bad economy, he can find something sooner rather than later.

We said our goodbyes and my co-worker and I left to get the bus to work. I looked up at the sky and pondered for just a second, how the grass does appear greener on the other man's lawn sometimes.

Related Posts:

1. The Life I Really Wanted

2. The "What If?" Epiphany

"Lions & Tigers & Bears!"

Scene from "The Wizard of Oz"

A woman in my building at my work, who was one of the rare McCain-Palin supporters, said today that she was afraid and doesn't feel as secure now that Barack Obama will be president. Mind you, she said this in front of me and not my bi-racial friend, "Jimmy". She said that his race had nothing to do with it and she was certain that he is a fine man who will govern as best he can. So, I asked her what was she afraid of? She said that his "youth and inexperience" is what worried her about with him.

She said that was the only deciding factor in whether she cast her vote his way or McCain's way. I assured her that she had nothing to worry about. I said to her... "He's 47 years old, not 27 years old." I reminded her that John F. Kennedy was 45 years old when he entered the White House and he did just fine. Bill Clinton was also 47 years old when he entered the White House and, despite the sex scandals, he left the country in pretty good shape. I don't know if that made her feel a little bit better or not.

She is scared... NOW she's scared! Well, I was scared too. Do you want to know when I was scared? I'm glad you asked. I was scared in 2000, around this time, when they pulled off that farce that they called an election and allowed this man, George W. Bush, to become president by a Supreme Court vote. I was scared after believing that we got bamboozled and the election process was really flawed... that the fix was in from now on and maybe I was wasting my time voting in the first place, if this was going to be the way things were done. I was scared knowing this man was now president and rumored not to be the brightest bulb on the tree in the first place.

I was terrified when he appointed an attorney general who was judged by the people of his own state to be so abhorrent that they would rather vote for a recently deceased man, rather than him. I got scared when The Mosad (the Israeli version of the Secret Service) and German Intelligence (not to mention our own FBI) told his administration all during the summer of 2001 that there were certain individuals in Florida that needed watching because they were taking flying lessons but, not learning how to land. I was horrified to learn that he and his administration chose to do nothing and then on September 11, 2001, all hell broke loose! And, guess what? The same individuals that we were warned about turned out to be the 911 terrorists... their pictures were in the newspapers the very next morning. Somebody knew who they were, right?

Furthermore, I got real scared when they came out with the Patriot Act and started shredding the constitution at will. I got scared when we opened up Guantanamo Bay and started holding suspected terrorists in custody without due process of law for months on end. I was scared when instead of directing all of our energy towards getting Osama Bin Laden and the folks that made all of this happen, this president started beating the drums for a war in Iraq... a country we had already beaten 12 years before and had surrounded by our ships and posed no danger to us. We were told that they had weapons of mass destruction and they posed a danger to the world. We've been over there since 2003 and nobody has yet to find a weapon of mass destruction of any kind.

Then, there was Katrina and how I saw people standing on roofs, wading through flooded streets, and the government agency that was supposed to help them, (which was headed by one of our president's college buddies who couldn't find a birthday cake in a bakery) was no where to be found. Now, we have the bank failures, the near financial collapse of the U.S. economy, and the possible bailout of three big automobile makers. If this hasn't frightened everybody then, I don't know what can. If this is an example of mature and experienced leadership then, I'm really afraid!

After all of that... this woman is afraid NOW??? She was willing to vote for four more years of THAT??? Please!!! I would have rathered she said that she didn't vote for Barack because he's black... at least, that I could understand. I'm not scared of lions and tigers and bears but, I've been scared during the Bush Administration!!!

His Victory Too!

Last week, when Barack Obama won the presidential election, there was another man who teared up (I'll call him "Jimmy"). He was crying for a very different reason. You see, he and Barack Obama have something in common. This is Jimmy's story...

Jimmy was born in the south in 1955. His mother, like Barack's, was a white woman. She was married to an abusive, drunken lout of a man who was so low on the social totem poll that even the local Ku Klux Klan (KKK) didn't want him (and that was pretty low). After one too many beatings, his mother wandered out into the night and found herself on the local military base near the town. Here she met a kind African-American G.I. who struck up a conversation with her, bought her a few drinks, applied ice to her swollen cheekbone, and offered a bit of kindness to her wounded psyche.

They began a very, very secretive relationship. Their relationship had to be secret at this time... it was 1954 America and, if discovered, they both could have been killed. After a few months, she decided to return to her husband. She and the G.I. probably figured that sneaking around just wasn't worth the risks to both of them. She had a problem though... she was pregnant! She carried the baby to term and Jimmy was born in May of 1955.

At first, she tried to pawn the baby off as her husband's child but, after a few years and some pretty ugly stares, it became apparent that this child not only wasn't her husband's but, also wasn't the same race as her husband. Scared to death of what would happen to both of them if discovered, the husband went along with the ruse and tried to raise the child as if it was his own son. This didn't fool or set too well with the local KKK, who burned a cross on their front lawn and told Jimmy's "father" that unless they got rid of that "mongrel", they would burn down his house with him and his wife in it.

Since Jimmy's birth, his mother had given birth to a baby girl in 1958 and another boy in 1960. He didn't want to lose his home and his biological children over some child that not only wasn't his but, was some nigger's child on top of that so, he ordered Jimmy's mom to take him away. He was seven years old when he and his Mom got on a bus and traveled to Philadelphia, where he was put up for adoption. He was adopted by an African-American couple who promised that they would take good care of him. His mother tearfully said goodbye to him and boarded the bus back to the south.

Jimmy would never understand why his mother abandoned him, why he was being separated from his brother and sister, and why he would now have to call these strange new people "Mom and Dad". Although black, Jimmy's skin was fair enough and his hair texture fine enough for him to "pass" for white at times. Sometimes you could look at him and tell he was black but, there were certain times you could look at him and think for a slight second that he was white. As a result, white people would often say things around him that they wouldn't say around somebody like me, who is quite obviously black. I told him that what he has is great because he has gotten to see the world from both perspectives, white and black. There are times when I'm quite envious.

For instance, last week on election day, two white people were talking about Barack Obama within an earshot of Jimmy and one of them said, "Well, it looks like Obama is going to win this thing." and the other one said, "Yeah, I know. Well, at least he's half white... he's not, you know?" They had no idea that Jimmy is an African-American. I'm one hundred percent certain that they never would have uttered that in front of me. He was incensed but, I told him not to be because we all say stupid and wrong things when we are in our separate tribes that we won't repeat in mixed company so, I told him to let it ride.

It makes me wonder sometimes if that is the real reason that Obama got a 61% white vote... because, "at least he's half white... he's not, you know?" Who knows? I can't pretend to know what goes on in the minds of people. Maybe one day, when Leroy Jackson is elected president, all doubts will be taken out of my mind.

The good news is Jimmy was reunited with his white birth mother and his white half-brother and half-sister. He found them when he was in his thirties, still living in the same town. His mother's abusive husband had since died and they welcomed him with open arms. He still takes care of his adoptive African-American mother and his adoptive father died a few years ago. When Barack Obama won the election last week, I know that I teared up a little... but, Jimmy teared up too because Barack's victory was his victory too.

Kathy

It's been 12 years last week since her suicide. I didn't really want to blog about her but, something about Kathy always made you take notice... always made you want to write and say something. That's how she was... expressive, dramatic, inspiring.

I was going to lunch yesterday and I saw a huge metal peace sign that had been constructed at the sight of her death. Someone had printed her many quotes and left flowers. I smiled... finally, 12 years after her death she is taken seriously. Wherever she is, Kathy would have liked that.

This is one of my more bizzarre life experiences. Kathy was not one of my ex-girlfriends. I met her the year after I got married. I can't even say we were friends. I never knew her real name until after her death and she never knew my last name.

I met Kathy in 1990 when I first began working at the university. I was walking across campus with a co-worker and I saw a throng of people crowded around the front of the library. Drama junkie that I am, I wanted to know what all the fuss was about so, I walked over to the crowd and worked my way to the front and there she was... all 5' 2" of her. This little petite Asian woman was standing and giving a rousing speech without a stitch of clothing on.

Usually, when I meet a woman, it takes awhile before I see them in their birthday suit. Standing beside her and holding up two placards were two long-haired white men and they didn't have on any clothes either. They were protesting the first Gulf War and George Bush (the first one, not Junior).

She talked about his involvement in the CIA and how he wanted the United States to go to war with Saddamn Hussein, a man who was once his ally and who he had armed himself. She warned of the very thing we are facing now... an agressive war with Iraq, supposedly in the interest of the American people but, really for the greedy interests of "the corporate-military elite". Twelve years after her death and she was right on the money. Mind you, she was saying this is the late summer of 1990.

Half of the people in the crowd came to laugh because these three people were naked but, if you listened closely to what she was saying, she was correct in her analysis. I didn't say anything to Kathy that day but, I would later see her again (when she had clothes on) and we would talk. I heard that she had once been a student at the university, was a brilliant Poli-Sci major, and then, one day she just dropped out... never to return. I don't know if that was true or not. She was surrounded by mystery. She had been in the forefront of several un-popular causes, like the movemant for world peace, the movemant to clean up the environment, amnesty for political prisoners around the world, divestation of funds from cruel African dictatorships, etc. (real far left stuff).

She supported herself by running a book store off campus that also had incense, top paper for "looseys" (handmade cigarettes or joints, if you were nasty), Greek stuff, paddles, t-shirts, etc. We would talk, discuss this book or that, methods of protest, etc. I found her to be quite intelligent. She was about eight years older than me but, you couldn't tell that by looking at her. She looked a lot younger than she actually was. Her musical taste ended somewhere in the 70's. She was into Bob Dylan... Crosby, Stills, Nash & Young... David Bowie... and such. The only black music she knew of was Sly & The Family Stone, Jimi Hendrix, Motown, and Stax. I always teased her and said she was trapped in a time warp.

Kathy cared about her causes and she would do anything to get attention.... from protesting naked to laying down at the foot of campus and blocking pedestrian traffic. I don't know what cause she was expousing on the afternoon of October 22, 1996 when she doused herself with gasoline and lit herself on fire. She went up in a blaze and fell into a bed of leaves. Do you know that on that day, me and some friends walked right by that fire from a distance? I had no idea that it was Kathy. I do remember everybody saying how bad it smelled (we were smelling burning flesh and just didn't know it). There was something eerie and just plain wrong about how high the flame burned that day.

I found out in the afternoon as I was getting ready to go home that Kathy had set herself on fire and killed herself. The final act of a public career that had never been taken seriously. I walked by the peace sign yesterday and saw her quotes, name, the year of her birth and death printed in big letters underneath them, and the beautiful flowers. It was all so peaceful. For a minute, I could almost see her standing there on the steps protesting something.

In Memory of Kathy C.
1950-1996

The Life I Really Wanted

My major in college was journalism. For those of you who have peeped my profile, you know that I work in the field of education at a university in Development & Alumni Relations. It pays me a good salary. Over the years, I've been able to support a wife and a daughter, purchase a house, maintain an automobile, and eat three squares a day. Occasionally, I've been able to clothe myself and even have a little fun. In a nutshell, my life hasn't been bad over the past several years and if you were to ask my family, I don't think any of us have ever wanted for anything that we really needed. However, I am not living the life I really wanted to live though. Let me explain...

I had two loves, sports and music. When I was studying journalism, I had two career paths that I wanted to take: (1) I wanted to write for Sports Illustrated. I saw myself in the locker room with Jordan, taking notes after he hit the winning shot to take his sixth championship and send the Utah Jazz packing. (2) There was no VIBE Magazine or anything closely resembling it to cover black music in the 1980's so, I dreamed of writing for Rolling Stone, the hippest music magazine around at that time. When VIBE and the SOURCE finally did emerge in the 1990's, I was already married, a home owner, and working in a field completely different from what I studied for and wound up paying for (years and years of student loans).

I could've been covering Tupac, Biggie, (my homeboys) The Roots, Jill Scott, Jay-Z, and Nas at the beginning of their careers and getting free tickets to concerts, music seminars, and the whole nine. That was the life I dreamed about and that was the life I really wanted. Somewhere along the line, I must have just given up and stopped trying. I know that once out of college, I started sending my resumes everywhere and nowhere and I got nothing back. I hounded all of the local newspapers and television stations in the area. Nada. I also needed cash really quick because I had to start paying those "pesky" student loans back. I went into survival mode and did what I had to do to save my credit rating so that when and if I found someone to marry, I might have a shot at getting a house.

Let's just say LIFE got in the way and my entire focus went in a completely different direction. I continued to write for awhile... fiction, poetry, and even current events. I have several binders
with everything I wrote from a certain period in my life and then, I just stopped. The joy of writing just died for me. I figured that I wasn't going to make a living at it so, why bother.

Blogging (and by the way, this isn't another post about blogging), at least, rekindled my love of writing. I can see it because I'm writing a post for this blog everyday and then, rolling over to my other blog and knocking out a poem or a short story like it's nothing. And, I don't seem to be showing any signs of hitting that brick wall called "writers block" yet. This new medium seems to have given me part of the life I wanted.

Don't get me wrong... I'm not saying that I don't love the life I'm living. I'm happily married, got a family, and living the American dream (or at least, the Negro American dream). But, I'm not living the life I originally wanted for myself. Half of the people I went to college with are doing something completely different than what they set out to do as well. It just makes me wonder sometimes, why bother? Why can't we put off college until we at least have a realistic idea of what we can or might really do? Sometimes I feel like I wasted the government's money. (I know... I'm saying that now, right?)

How many of you out there have ever felt the way I'm feeling right now (i.e. that you're not living the life you originally envisioned for yourself)?

Measure Of A Man (Or Woman)

I could blog about the debate tonight, which I'm watching as I write this... but, I'm about to do the "maverick" kind of thing and blog about something a little different (hats off to Sarah Palin). I was reading O.G.-The Original Glamazon's blog today and it got me to thinking about something. We are living in perilous economic times now and a lot of people are losing their jobs, can't buy that automobile they had their eye on, watching their 401K lose money, etc. This is causing a lot of people to question who they are and what they are.

My Grandmother once told me that "How you make your money should never get mixed up with who you are." At the time she said that, I considered it to be one more thing that old people said that didn't make any sense to me at all... but today, those words come back to me and they make an awful lot of sense. Right after I read O.G.'s blog, I read a horrifyingly unsettling story in the newspaper about a man in California who killed his wife, two children, mother-in-law, and then himself yesterday. The reason was... he had lost his job and was depressed.

Too many people are wrapped up in their job title or position, how much money they make, and how many "things" they have acquired. Their personality and their character seems to get lost somewhere in all of that. Half of Sean ("Puff Daddy", "Diddy", or whoever he is calling himself now of days) Combs's Bad Boy catalog is filled with songs that explain that a girl should be with (fill in the blank right here) because they have clothes, cars, jewels, and can take her on shopping sprees. For awhile, the entire hip-hop culture was built around the "bling". Unfortunately, the American economic reality is going to force people to dream different dreams. The hero of the day is not going to be the big "playa" but simply, the guy who can get through the day.

That's why I got to thinking about the things that are "recession proof", such as character. At the end of the day, all you may have is your integrity, honesty, loyalty, ability to love, and your willingness to work and provide for your spouse/lover and your children. That is going to be the measuring stick that a man will be judged by. I think guys are probably more guilty of this than women... that is, confusing who they are with where they work, how nice and up to date their car is, their position at the job, etc. That's why when they lose that job, if they lose that car or somebody gets a better car than theirs, they seemingly lose their minds. They don't know who they are anymore.

The American economic reality is going to force all of us to look deeper into ourselves. It's going to strip us to the bare essence of who we are and in the next couple of years, we are going to have to make some sacrifices regardless of WHO is in the White House. Hopefully, we'll find out something good about ourselves and be all the more better for it.

(This post is brought to you by the true "maverick" of bloggers!)

Haterade

One of my African American sisters got promoted to a management position within my department recently. If any of you have wondered just what it is I do when I'm not blogging, I am part of the fund raising and development department of a major university. We talk to donors, alumni, and basically, people with ca$h and persuade them through various ways to fund the many university projects.

I walked around to the sister's office, hugged her, and told her congratulations. There are only 3 black managers in my entire 82 member department. I know how hard it is for a black person to get to that position so, I tried to be supportive. All three of the black managers in my department are females... that says something too but, that's another post for another day.

I wasn't out of her office a hot minute before my phone started ringing. It was a friend of mine, another black woman from across campus. I'll call her D. and her ear is always to the ground. She asked me, "Keith, is it true what I'm hearing?" I sighed and said, "What are you hearing?" She said, "I heard that T.J. got promoted to manager in your department." I said, "No grass grows under your feet D. That's right, she starts today." Then, she said, "That's a damn shame. How did they promote HER? She's not even that knowledgeable." I sighed again and said, "Well, somebody thought so... they gave her the position." She replied, "I can't believe they promoted her... she's not that bright, you know."

Why do we as black people do that to each other? Why can't we be supportive of each other rather than tear each other down? The woman that got promoted is going to have enough eyes and stress on her from the white faculty members. Isn't that enough without having scorn from one of her own?

You should know that D. has applied for several jobs at the university. She says she is at a point where she needs to "run something." She's not worried about money... she just wants to run a department, be a manager, and have a title. In the past year, she has applied for three positions and has been turned down for each one of them. The interviewers said that she was pushy, brash, and her writing skills weren't up to par. Some of that is true but, a lot of it is b.s.

There are several pushy white women (and men) in a lot of high positions. Justifiably, D. feels slighted and the victim of racial prejudice. She may well be but, she's turned a lot of her disappointment inward to the point that, when somebody black gets a position, she always tears into them and questions their capabilities.

She drank a big bottle of Haterade and it's just got to stop. We've got to be more righteous with each other. "We" are all we've got and if we can't celebrate each other's success in this dog-eat-dog world then, who will?

Come on folks. Stop the hate!

We Never Truly Stop Learning

I often wonder if I was actively looking to switch careers right now, would I be relevant to the current job market. It seems like an eternity since I was in college (1976-1981) and the world is much more complex than it was then. This was before CD players, personal computers, laptops, Ipods, Iphones, text messaging, cell phones, etc. Is it any wonder that I feel like a relic. Although, I recently read something that made me feel better about the college degree that I did earn and I would like to share it.

MSN Encarta: Lifelong Learning

Is Your Degree Recyclable?

By Kara Wahlgren

Feeling a little lukewarm about your current job? You're not alone. In a national employment survey conducted by Harris Interactive in 2007, 84 percent of workers said they hadn't landed their dream job yet. But, switching jobs can be a daunting prospect, especially if your ideal position is in a completely different field. If you're like many recent college graduates, you may feel that a drastic career change would be a waste of the time and money you invested in your education. In reality, there's no need to throw away all your hard work -- most degrees can be relevant to a wide range of career paths as long as you know how to make the most of your educational achievements. Here's how to give your degree a second life.

Get nostalgic: Before you make your next career move, consider the reasons you chose your current field in the first place. Are you a fact fiend? A numbers geek? A creative free spirit? If you want to be happy in your next job, make sure your goals mesh with your core values. "The best career is going to be a match based on your interests and skills," says Lynn Berger, a career counselor and coach in New York City. Say you're an engineer longing for a creative outlet. Berger points out that engineering is a specialized field that attracts analytical thinkers -- so an innovative field like robotics or ergonomics will probably be more fulfilling than a career in poetry writing. Likewise, a financial whiz might find respite from a trading job by working as an analyst for a nonprofit."Why did you pursue that degree? Is it something you're passionate about?" asks Hallie Crawford, CPCC, an Atlanta-based certified career coach. Once you've reconnected with the plus points of your current field, you probably won't have to stray too far to find job satisfaction.

Rethink your degree: Even if you discover that your dream job is in a completely different field, don't worry that your degree will go to waste. According to David Hults, CEO of activ:8, a career coaching firm in St. Louis, and the author of "From Cornered to Corner Office," many job seekers underestimate their value by focusing too much on their college major. "Your degree is not who you are. That's a mistake that we make," Hults says. "We're much more diverse than that. We're short-sheeting our own bed." Hults recalls one client who wanted to make the leap from graphic design to crime scene investigation. Although the two careers seemed disparate, he found a common thread: The designer was a perfectionist with an obsessive attention to detail. "I need to know the truth about this graphics program' translated to 'I need to know the truth about what happened,'" Hults says.

Pinpoint your skills: You may feel like you're starting from scratch, but in reality, you've amassed an impressive skill set throughout your education and employment. If you pause to take inventory of your abilities, you may find that you're far more qualified than you initially thought. "Get clear on what your transferable skills are -- problem solving, calculating data, organizing -- regardless of what your degree is," Berger says. And don't feel obliged to follow the traditional career path for your major. Crawford advises, "Think out of the box. Ask yourself what you learned by pursuing that degree." For example, you might assume that your Bachelor of Arts degree in history makes you ill-equipped for a career as a sports writer, but don't overlook your passion for sports, superb writing skill and ability to retain trivia and make past events relevant.

Emphasize the "how": Most employers are far less concerned with your chosen major than with the way you use your background to do your job. "Interview questions are all about how you handled situations," Hults says. "I can teach somebody a skill, but I have a hard time teaching people to be responsible or organized." When you're applying for your dream job, explain what makes you uniquely qualified for that position. Perhaps your humanities degree allows you to understand an advertising firm's target audience, or your English degree equipped you with the written communication skills you'll need for a career in management. Your degree reflects the way you think and work, so don't hesitate to tout those attributes to a potential employer.Above all, realize that your talents helped you earn your degree -- not the other way around. When you're making the decision to switch careers, concentrate on the unique skills and work ethic that led you to your current degree, and then ask yourself how those qualities can help you succeed in your desired field.

After reading this, I felt so much better. So, if there are any of you out there who went to school when I did or even before I did, there is a lot of living and learning yet to be done. We never truly stop learning.

For Your Information & Action

5 Reasons to Find a New Job in 2008

If you’re like many professionals, you daydream about leaving your underwhelming job to find a more fulfilling (or at least, better paying) one, but you never do. Here are five reasons why you shouldn’t put off your job search one more day.

1. You'll Stress Less: These days, work and stress are synonymous. A 2007 survey by ComPsych Corporation found stress is rampant in the workplace. Sixty percent of workers said they have high levels of stress with symptoms of extreme fatigue and feeling out of control. Another 33 percent said they have constant but manageable stress. That's a lot of headaches. What's the biggest cause of all this tension? The study cited "people issues" as the number one work stressor, followed by workload and work/life balance. It's proven that stress can harm your mental and physical health so, save yourself by finding a new job.

2. You'll Advance Your Career: Take the next step up that proverbial ladder. Workers may have more negotiating power with employers than they think. Eighty-one percent of hiring managers said it was difficult to find qualified candidates twelve months ago, and ninety-one percent said recruiting is equally or more challenging today, according to the 2007 Employment Dynamics and Growth Expectations (EDGE) Report by CareerBuilder.com and Robert Half International. More than half of hiring managers who are having trouble recruiting cited a shortage of qualified professionals as the primary culprit.

3. You'll Make More Money: All signs point to fatter paychecks in 2008. Nearly two-in-five hiring managers plan to increase starting salaries in the next year to attract new talent, according to the EDGE Report. Plus, the Department of Labor reports annual compensation costs (what employers spend on wages, salaries, and benefits) for civilian workers increased 3.3% for the year ended September 2007. And, average hourly earnings increased from $16.91 in October 2006 to $17.58 in October 2007. Take advantage of this knowledge and use it in negotiating your new starting salary.

4. You'll Get Better Benefits: Although economic pressures are increasing, employers are becoming more committed to offering more and better benefits packages to attract and retain talent. Thirty percent of hiring managers reported their firms have instituted new policies and programs to increase staff retention rates in the last twelve months, up from twenty-three percent this time last year, according to the same CareerBuilder.com/Robert Half report. The primary measures taken included offering pay raises, bonuses, better benefits, and more flexible schedules. In addition, Prudential Financial's study "Employee Benefits: 2006 & Beyond" looked at current and future employee needs and how employers plan to respond to them. Eighty percent of employers say it's important to offer and subsidize a wide range of employee benefits. Be prepared: Although more companies are offering more diversified benefits, workers may see more costs shifted from employer to employee, especially in voluntary benefits.

5. You'll Have More Time: Isn't it time you improve your commute? Fifty-nine percent of workers surveyed by CareerBuilder.com admit to experiencing road rage while traveling to and from work. With 128 million commuters in the United States that's a lot of road rage. It seems your commute is only going to get worse according to "Commuting in America III" by Alan Pisarski and published by the Transportation Research Board. The average national travel times grew to 25.5 minutes in 2000, up from 22.4 in 1990 and 21.7 in 1980. That time is increasing even though more people are leaving for work between 5 a.m. and 6:30 a.m. to beat rush hour. Find something closer to home, or better yet, become one of the 4 million Americans already working from home.

by Anthony Balderrama

CareerBuilder.com

And, if I may add the sixth and most important reason to get a new job... because your present job just simply sucks!!!