Friday, October 24, 2008

The "What If ?" Epiphany

Yesterday, I was feeling a little envious of someone who I felt was living the life that I had wanted for myself. I took time to think back to the point where I stopped trying to go in one direction and veered off into another. I was listening to two black women talk in the elevator today and it got me to thinking about our destinies and how we might want one thing but, in the long run, we find out that what we want might not be the best thing for us.

One of the women in the elevator remarked that she had been engaged to some guy... the other woman looked at her and said, "What? You and him? I couldn't see the two of you together." The woman telling the story said to her friend that at one time in her life, she couldn't see herself not being with this man. She ended her story with, "Girl, I'm soooo glad that I didn't marry that man. I would have been the most miserable woman on earth. He is horrible... but, you couldn't have told me that ten years ago. I thought the sun rose and set on that guy." I wasn't so much interested in her almost relationship as I was in what she had to say about God and/or fate taking them both in different directions.

What if, the life that I wanted for myself just wasn't suitable for me? What if I had gotten what I wanted then and found out that I made the wrong choice. I guess I'll never know but, it's quite possible that I'm in the best place for me... right here... right now. God can see the big picture... the part of the story that we can't see and maybe he sends us down different roads for reasons only He can know but, roads (just the same) that are best for us as individuals.

The woman in the elevator could have hooked up with that man and found out that he was a batterer or he didn't like her family or he liked dressing up in her clothes... who knows. At any rate, before she (and he) made what could have been the biggest mistake of their lives, fate steered them both in another direction.

So, I say that to say this: "You can't always get what you want... You can't always get what you want... You can't always get what you want... but, if you try sometimes, you get what you need." (Thanks to Mick Jagger and Keith Richards for the lyrics.)

Have a blessed weekend everybody!


Raven said...

I always think "what if" I hadn't gotten a job at Best Buy. See, when I was 19 I went to a job interview at Best Buy and as I was sitting there a young man made his way over to where all the potential employees were sitting and asked if we were there for a job. I smiled politely and nodded.(He was my type physically so I afforded him a smile. LOL) That guy is now my husband. He says he ran to the back and found one of the cool managers and begged him to hire me. I often wonder if we would have met if I would have worked somewhere else...I'd like to think so, but I wouldn't bet on it. I'm just glad that this was my destiny!

James Perkins said...

What If? What If? Life is filled with What if's brother..We can't
ponder on this too long..just have to move on..which you stated quite well.

Grover Tha Playboy said...

What if so many girls weren't attracted to me...?? What if I hadn't decided to please so many women?? lololol ,just kidding bruh,
great post just the same.

Simon Bastion said...

My first time on your blogs (Via
the Afro-Spear) I've been reading a lot of your posts..You have a nice comfortable friendly blog..I like it..I won't be a stranger.

Stacye said...

Ponder this, if you will:

This is the statement of faith that we read at my church every Sunday morning. We will never know the mind of God. God does thing that we will never understand but He always has everything in the palm of His hands. Keith, the path you took was the path God had planned for your life...embrace it!

Sunflower said...

Keith,I've noticed that your last two posts have been very introspective..This is a new turn for you..I'm hoping to see more.

Anonymous said...

I try not to live by the code "what if". Can't change time but I can make my future brighter by making good choices in the present.

Have a good weekend.

Toni said...

Interesting post gave me
something to think about.

Angie B. said...

Look at you, gettin all deep on us
over here. Have a great weekend Keith?

Keith said...

@Raven- There is a song called "Turn Another Corner" that
came to mind when I read your comment..If we had been somewhere else we would missed out on meeting our future spouse or what have you.

@Grover- lolol-you're crazy man.

@James & Southern Girl- Yes, you're both absolutely
gave me something to consider.

@Simon-Welcome- Don't be a stranger

@Stacye- Thank you for your kind words of encouragement

@Sun, Angie and Toni- I aint really that deep.lolol

Jazzy said...

Found you by way of Go Bytch. Loved the post, I often find myself wondering at the direction my life has taken. I wonder if there was some decision I made that completely altered the path that I am now on or if it was always designed for me to be exactly where I am now.

Will stop by again

R. Fitzgerald said...

Been there bruh, wondering how things would have been if my life would have went left instead of right.

good post

12kyle said...

I think it's easy to dream about "what ifs". I agree with you. God has a plan for all of us. Never regret the hand that you're dealt. You play it to the best of your ability.

12kyle said...

btw...Falcons vs Eagles this weekend. I gotta ride with my Falcons but I need McNabb to carry my fantasy team. LOL

have a good weekend

OG, The Original Glamazon said...

I actually marvel now at all the things in my life that didn’t work out but prepared me for the very moment. Like I have been working on a post for a very long time about how all my relationships and their failures prepared me for what I have now and how my employment change actually ended up really saving me a lot of things and being able to help a lot of people. As you know I just feel in awe of the story God has already written for me it’s nothing like I imagined but it is oh so much better. Oh so much better.

Great Post!

Keisha "Kitten" Isaacs said...

Hey Brother!

So true....I always quote a line from one of Lauryn Hill's songs.

"what you want might make you cry...what you need might pass you by...if you don't catch it...but ironically you've found out what you needed..IS what you wanted if you just let it be!!!"

Strongblkwmn said...

There are a few things I wonder about, but i've been trying not the look back. It's not easy, especially when things don't work out the way you want them to.

Good post.

Moanerplicity said...

since we're quoting song lyrics here's an even mo betta one for you, my brotha:

'but you can bet your life times that & twice its double, that GOD knew exactly where HE wanted you to be placed.' ~ Sir Stevie Wonder

Snatch JOY!


Mizrepresent said...

Oh yes, i've done the "what if's" too many times, but in the end i know i am exactly where i am supposed to can sometimes be a hard pill to swallow, especially having come across some people in my life who are now millionaires, and yet there lives are in, i am glad for what i have, and i'll just keep on working on me, and working to get mine, and in time, God's time i will have all that i need!

missrook said...

Dang, something to marinate on. Just passing thru, nice post.


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