Saturday 7 (Seven things to help out your relationships)

1.First thing you can do is surround yourself with new people.

As all of us get older, our social circles typically shrink. With friends still being a top source for meeting the people we eventually marry, a shrinking pool of people doesn't help. That said, it is important to accept that invitation to your co-worker's dinner party that you had intended to blow off, or take the plunge and join the art appreciation group at the museum. The best thing you can do for your dating life is to create new opportunities … and opportunities come through other people...So be that social monster as one of my friends used to say!

2.I hate to use the term mentor...but get around a sensible person who can give you good advice!

This is a person who can objectively give you relationship advice. Securing a quote unquote Love Mentor(I hate that term!) can be the single most impactful step you make in your romantic life, if done correctly! Doing this correctly means selecting the right person. It can be the same or opposite sex from you. The keys are that they a) share your values. b) can speak to you objectively. c) know what a healthy relationship is (through experience not just watching reality on TV).


3.Self Assess

 The hardest thing to do is self-assess and accept responsibility. Remember former President Bill Clinton saying ''Ahh did not have sexual relations with that woman," but the fact is, he did. And for many of us, we don't know how to face the hard facts — we're picky (not selective), we're overweight (not curvy or built), our style is outdated (not vintage), etc. The sooner we admit our flaws, the easier it is to accept or improve them. Self-awareness is always the first step to self-development.


4.You may have to cut some people out of your life....
Can't say that anymore plainer than I just did...We all males and females have people in our lives who are just plain negative...From the Debbie Downers to the lifelong playas that know so much, but never seem to have anybody...
Hell, Life is hard enough just keeping up, and the last thing we need is a negative force bringing us down and imposing doubt. While we all evolve, not all of us evolve in a positive direction.  Everybody that came with you can't go with you!

5.If You Aren't going to make her your wife, don't make her a mother....If He's not husband material...don't make him a father...Nuff said..

I can't tell you how many people I hear say, "I slept with this person because I think they really care for me." WHAAAAT? IS That's your standard for sex? When did the bar drop so low? (and why wasn't it this low when I was single?)Sex is not a reward for good behavior — if you want to reward someone's kindness, you take them to lunch, not between the sheets! Period. And, don't get me started on "I had sex to save the relationship," I've never once heard someone tell me "Keith, you know I hadn't planned on marrying her, but damn, the sex is so good I'll buy the ring." NEVER. This doesn't happen! Raise your standard and maintain it!

6. Sometimes ,like the Whispers song -Love is where you find it....Not where you were looking for it...Embrace diversity! Nuff said.

7.Create a Plan for your next relationship and stick with it...

Why not? We plan for everything else...we plan… to get in the right school … to get the promotion … to lose the weight … all of these parts of our lives cannot be accomplished without planning. Our romantic life should be no different. Identify an online and offline dating strategy … and follow it!

Now stop reading this blog...Get out there and meet somebody!!