Saturday Seven (7 Worst Members Of Congress)

In my opinion, these are the seven worst members of Congress. And, guess what? They're not all Republicans either. I know this may come as a shock to some of my readers because I bash the G.O.P. so much... but, I'm being fair and voting across the board on this post. I hope when you guys go to vote next month (And, you are going to vote, right?), you look at each candidate objectively, intelligently, and vote for the one that best represents your interests. This is all I can ask. Now that you've read my disclaimer, here they are (drum roll puhlease!)...

1. Joe Barton, Republican-Texas

An amazing thing happened this summer as BP CEO Tony Hayward was testifying before an Energy and Commerce sub-committee. When it came Joe Barton's turn to grill the SOB, whose rotten company was befouling the waters off Barton's home state, Barton instead abjectly apologized to a stunned Hayward for President Obama's demand that BP pay for the disaster the foreign corporation had created in American waters. Call Barton a private servant, because throughout his deplorable career, he has never served the public much. His is a strain of conservatism that gives preference to private interests over the public interest every time. And, worst of all, Barton stands to become chairman of Energy and Commerce, should the Republicans take the House this year.

2. Joseph Lieberman, Independent-Connecticut

Can you believe that this guy was almost Vice-President? Can you believe that this guy was once a Democrat? Can you believe that this guy was once a Republican? Can you believe this guy period? There was a time when Lieberman's quavering sanctimony act was somewhat convincing (e.g., his blistering speech against President Clinton during the Great Blowjob Crisis of 1998). But, not anymore. Oh, the quavering sanctimony is still there, but it is now but a fig leaf for Lieberman's utter venality, for these days he quavers not on behalf of the country, but on behalf of himself.

He has never gotten over the fact that his party had no interest at all in supporting him for the presidency in 2004... and then, actually went and knocked him off in the Democratic Senate primary in 2006. Re-elected as an independent, Lieberman's now about as popular in Connecticut as bank foreclosures. His favorite game to play now when it comes to major bills is to keep 'em guessing... Will he go with the Republicans this time? With the Demorcrats? Will poor Harry Reid have to do the dance of the seven veils again? Memo to Senator Lieberman: No one cares for your dog and pony show anymore.

3. Charles Rangel, Democrat-New York

Surprised? You shouldn't be. When you've been in Congress for 40 years like this guy has and have ascended to the chairmanship of the incredibly powerful House Ways and Means Committee, which drafts all of the tax laws for the United States, are you to be believed when you say that you didn't realize that you were supposed to have paid taxes on that swank beachfront property YOU own? And then, when you get fairly busted for other corruption of office and you vow to fight, fight, fight, what exactly are we to believe you are fighting for? Well, in the sad case of Charlie Rangel, you are fighting for none other than yourself. And, you are taking your place in an embarrassing pantheon of black urban public officials who with discouraging regularity act as if they own the office to which they have merely been elected. Come on man, give us all a break!

4. David Vitter, Republican-Louisiana

Okayyyy player, playa! It's one thing if you're a whoremonger and make no real pretensions to be anything but... there's even a kind of Laissez les bon temps rouler integrity to that type of rascal that we may even have to admire a little bit. He is, after all, what he appears to be. Edwin Edwards comes to mind. Remember a few years back when David Duke wrested the Republican nomination for governor of Louisiana to face Democrat Edwards in the general election? All the establishment Republicans panicked about having an actual sheet wearer as their standard-bearer, and so they all lined up behind the colorful Edwards with the slogan: "Vote for the crook. It's important." Now, those were the days, way back when slippery characters didn't pretend to take God's dictation.

Flash forward to now... which brings me to the case of David Vitter, who is the worst kind of reprobate to be found in heaven, hell, or Washington. Dave Vitter is not at all what or who he says he is. A self-described "values conservative," the public figure of David Vitter that we are all subjected to is a pinched, prissy man who sits in judgment of everyone and won't shush about Jesus. He's just a horrible bore who doesn't like for sick children to have health insurance, hates family planning, is appalled by gay people and gay marriage, and brown people from south of the border and the United Nations. All of which in the Dave Vitter moral universe blur into the same thing (Can somebody say racism? Xenophobia?)... grave threats to the tautly ordered no-fun zone that is David Vitter's immortal soul.

And oh, how David Vitter does like to instruct on personal sexual conduct. "Abstinence education is a public health strategy focused on risk avoidance... by teaching teenagers that saving sex until marriage and remaining faithful afterwards is the best choice," says Vitter. Well, Aristotle and Shakespeare knew where this story was going centuries before any of us were ever born. Because, of course, David Vitter loves prostitutes. And of course, of course, of course, he got caught. And yet, he still wears his grotesque mask of self- righteousness and Louisiana seems poised to be fooled again by this hypocrite this Election Day. Maybe they should first talk to Mrs. Vitter, who during more innocent times said of Hillary Clinton (and her husband's manhood)... "I'm a lot more like Lorena Bobbitt than Hillary. If David does something like that, I'm walking away with one thing and it's not alimony, trust me." Hmmmmmm! Indeed!

5. Ben Nelson, Democrat-Nebraska

They used to call this cat the "60th Vote". Ben Nelson swung a sweet deal for his home state to have its mandated expansion of Medicaid paid for by the federal government permanently in order to get his vote for health care reform. This is a deal no other state gets. Republicans mocked this arrangement as the "Cornhusker Kickback" and Nelson was stunned to find that every last person in his home state was horribly embarrassed by his deal. He muttered that it was all a misunderstanding, and it was really all about abortion funding anyway, which is one of his standby excuses for everything. Anti-abortion groups, once stalwarts for the senator, decided that they didn't trust him either.

Now, no body trusts this dude and he has been tarred with a catchy new name for the stupid thing he did, which imperiled the passage of health care reform. In the end, Harry Reid found a way to pass the House bill without Nelson's vote and Nelson was compelled pathetically to plead that his sweet deal be removed from the final bill. Because that's how Ben Nelson rolls.

6. Michelle Bachman, Republican-Minnesota

I did a blog post about her two years ago in which I called her the "stupidest elected candidate alive" and I still haven't changed my opinion. She makes Sarah Palin look like a Rhoades Scholar. She's a Republican soccer mom-styled official who first got famous by gobsmacking Chris Matthews shortly before the 2008 elections by asserting that she wanted an investigation into which of her colleagues were anti-American. Subsequently, she was one of the first onto the Tea Party crazy wagon, telling audiences of the agitated elderly about death panels and about how the Obama administration was going to make "slaves" of us all, and even leading a rally on the steps of the Capitol; at which people protested the health care reform bill by waving pictures of Dachau. I don't believe I have to say anything more about her.

7. Steve King, Republican-Iowa

Another Tea Party nutcase... the man who has never met an Obama conspiracy he didn't love. It was King who brought birtherism to the floor of the House. It was King who accused the White House of serving "ACORN cookies" at a social event. It was King who joined Bachmann in arguing that the $10 billion intended to save the jobs of 160,000 teachers around the country was actually "money laundering" on behalf of the teachers' unions. And, it was King who told the world that President Obama has a "mechanism that favors the black person." King insists on name-calling and divisive politics, and I don't think that plays well with western Iowa. It doesn't play well with the rest of the sensible world.

So, in closing folks, please, please, please get out and vote! Some of these people already in office are scary enough... don't elect anymore like them. Thank You! This has been a public service announcement from the Maverick of All Bloggers.