Weekend Humor

While walking down the street one day a prominent member of congress is tragically hit by a truck and dies. His soul arrives in heaven and is met by St. Peter at the entrance."Welcome to heaven," says St. Peter. "Before you settle in, it seems there is a problem. We seldom see a high official around these parts, you see, so we're not sure just what to do with you."

"No problem, just let me in," says the congressman. "Well, ya see I'd like to, but I have orders from higher up. What we'll do is have you spend one day in Hell and one in Heaven. Then you can choose where to spend eternity." "Really, I've made up my mind. I want to be in heaven,' says the congressman." "I'm sorry, but we have our rules," said St. Peter.

And with that, St. Peter escorts him to the elevator and he goes down, down, down to hell. The doors open and he finds himself in the middle of a green golf course. Saddamn Hussein and Adolf Hitler wave to him! In the distance is a clubhouse and standing in front of it are all his friends and other politicians who had worked with him. There's Dick Cheney, Rush Limbaugh, Sean Hannity, and Ann Coulter, just to name a few.

Everyone is very happy and in the distance, Sarah Palin and Christine Odonnell are walking around in sexy evening dresses. They run to greet him, shake his hand, and reminisce about the good times they had while getting rich at the expense of the people.

They play a friendly game of golf and then dine on lobster, caviar, cracked crab, and champagne. Also present is the devil, who really is a very friendly and nice guy who has a good time dancing and telling jokes. They are having such a good time that before he realizes it, it's time to go.

Everyone gives him a hearty farewell and waves while the elevator rises. The elevator goes up, up, up, and the door reopens on Heaven, where St. Peter is waiting for him. "Now it's time to visit heaven," says St. Peter. So, 24 hours pass with the MP joining a group of contented souls moving from cloud to cloud, playing the harp, and singing. They have a good time and before he realizes it, the 24 hours have gone by and St. Peter returns.

"Well, then... you've spent a day in hell and another in heaven. Now, choose your eternity." The congressman reflects for a minute, then he answers: "Well, I would never have said it before, I mean Heaven has been delightful, but I think I would be better off in Hell." So, St. Peter escorts him to the elevator and he goes down, down, down to Hell. The doors of the elevator open and he's in the middle of a barren land covered with waste and garbage.

He sees all his friends, dressed in rags, picking up the trash, and putting it in black bags as more trash falls from above. Old Satan comes over to him and puts his arm around his shoulder. "I don't understand," stammers the Congressman. "Yesterday I was here and there was a golf course and clubhouse... and we ate lobster, caviar, and cracked crab... we drank champagne, danced, and had a great time. Now there's just a wasteland full of garbage and my friends look miserable. What in hell happened? No pun intended." "It's cool" laughs old Satan.

Satan looks at him, smiles, and says... "Yesterday, we were campaigning. Today, you voted!"