Friday, February 4, 2011

Weekend Humor


Only in America!

Only in America...can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance...

Only in America...are there handicap parking places in front of a skating rink...

Only in America...do people order 2 double cheese burgers, a large fry, and a diet coke...

Only in America...do banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters...

Only in America...do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and leave useless things and junk in boxes in the garage...(I'm guilty of this one myself!)


Only in America...do we use answering machines to screen calls and then have call waiting so we won't miss a call from someone we didn't want to talk to in the first place...

Only in America...do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight...

Only in America...do we use the word "politics" to describe the process so well: "Poli" in latin meaning "many" and "tics" meaning "blood-sucking creatures"..Hmmmmmm!


Oh Well, Hope this made you chuckle.....Have a great weekend everybody!

6 comments:

James Perkins said...

Hillarious but true!

Sean said...

Oh man, these were good ones! Have a nice weekend Keith!

Toni said...

Too Cute Keith!

Angie B. said...

Funny and true! LOL!

Arlene said...

Thanks for the laughs, I love this Friday humor, but don't poke fun at ambulance drivers. Here in Philly the ONLY dependable form of protection we have is the Fire Department and their excellent record of getting to emergencies in minutes! Police service takes longer than making that pizza, but not ambulance service provided by the proud men and women of the PFD.

***Pray for my son. He takes the lieutenent's oral exam next week.

BigmacInPittsburgh said...

Thanks Keith for the much needed laugh!




KEEPING THE FAITH: RANDOM PRAYERS "ON THE DOWNLOAD"

DEAR GOD: My heart is heavy with my own failures. I try to excuse them and explain to myself why they occurred, because I want to be free from the feeling that I am unworthy and incapable of being all that I can be. But I find it easier to accept your forgiveness than to forgive myself. When I try to forgive myself, it seems I only remember and re-play my failures in my mind, and a sense of hopelessness floods over me. Help me to know that my past actions are a part of my growing humanity and that even when I fail to live up to what is your will for me, every single moment can be lived anew. Remind me that refusing to forgive myself only keeps me from experiencing that newness. Assure me of the truth that by casting “my sins into the depth of the sea”, you have freed me to discard them myself and live the next moment as if it were my first, for indeed it is. I ask this for the sake of your love. Amen.









































































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