Friday, April 29, 2011

Weekend Humor

Hakim had a bit of a drinking problem, you might say
Every night, after dinner, he took off for the neighborhood bar, spent the entire evening there and arrived home, drunk as all get up, around midnight each night. He always had trouble getting his key into the keyhole and getting the door opened.

His wife,Juanita, waiting up for him, would go to the door and let him in. Then she would proceed to yell and scream at him for his constant nights out and his returned drunken state. But Hakim continued his nightly routine. One day, Juanita, distraught by it all, talked to a friend about her husband's behavior.

The friend, Geneva listened to her and then asked, "Juanita, Why don't you treat him a little differently when he comes home? Instead of berating him, why don't you give him some loving words and welcome him home with a kiss? He then might change his ways." Juanita thought it was worth trying.

That night, Hakim took off again after dinner. Around midnight, he arrived home in his usual condition. Juanita heard Hakim at the door and let him in. This time, instead of berating him as she had always done, she took his arm and led him into the living room.
She was dressed in some sexy lingerie and heels.

 She sat him down in an easy chair, put his feet up on the ottoman and took his shoes off. Then she went behind him and started to cuddle him a little. After a while, she said to him, "It's pretty late baby, I think we had better go upstairs to bed now, don't you?"

 At that, Hakim replied in his inebriated state, "I guess we might as well. I'll get in trouble if I go home anyway!"

Thursday, April 28, 2011

Now Can We PLEASE move on?

Yesterday, the White House released President Barack Obama's long form birth certificate which states what people with common sense have known all along as well as what the President has been saying...That on August 2, 1961, Barack Hussein Obama II was born in Honolulu Hospital in the county of Oahu, State of Hawaii, U.S. of A.  Okay? He is indeed an American Citizen....

Some people still won't believe it...The truly mindless...This issue was dead in the water until a certain millionaire-celebrity gave it a kind of legitimacy that it didn't deserve....yesterday, Mr. Comb over himself, Donald Trump weighed in on the issue.

He says that he is "proud" of himself for, as he puts it, "getting the president to release his birth certificate." In the minutes before Donald Trump landed in Portsmouth, NH, to begin a day of stumping or not stumping,depending on which of his press releases you hear on any given day, the White House released President Obama's long-form birth certificate, and Trump told the press he heard about it while flying to the airfield.

"Today I'm very proud of myself, because I've accomplished something that no one else has been able to accomplish," Trump said, adding, "Our president has finally released a birth certificate."

However, he said he would have to check out the certificate himself and wondered why the president didn't do this "a long time ago." Oh puh-lease, give it a rest Donald.

With his Trump-emblazoned helicopter behind him, he began to answer questions about the birth certificate issue and whether he would run or not.(See what I mean?)Donald Trump reiterated that he wouldn't announce until NBC's Celebrity Apprentice is over, but that the public would be "surprised" by his decision.(I'm betting they won't.)

"I think if I do run I'll do very well. Look, I'm already leading the polls and I'm not running." He continued, "I think I'd beat Obama."

Donald Trump and the press moved away from the "birther" issue, allowing him the chance to disagree with the President on how he's handling rising gas prices in the country saying Obama "should be focused on OPEC and getting those prices down." (He was trying to, but all of you idiots keep bringing up his birth certificate and his college grades among other non-related junk.)As well as Libya where Trump said he would've handled that situation differently, "The rebels, I hear, are controlled by Iran and Al Qaeda...You could end up with worse than Ghadafi  perhaps."(Well this country could wind up with you and that's a real scary thought!)

After the press conference, Trump heads to the Roundabout Diner to meet and greet with local diners. Uh yeah...He's not running.....

Wednesday, April 27, 2011

R.I.P. Phoebe Snow

Phoebe Snow (July 17, 1952- April 26, 2011)

I believe I was 18 years old the first time I heard Phoebe Snow's music...So that makes the year, 1976...I had just graduated from high school and I was in my first semester at college. I was in the hallway of the women's dormitory, my home away from home at the time...and I heard this beautiful melody coming from this sister's room....It was the most beautiful piece of music I had heard at the time...

Now mind you...This was the age of Earth ,Wind & Fire, War, Mandrill, Parliament -Funkadelic, Graham Central Station and the like....People put on their boogie shoes on Friday nights and shook that booty to Wild Cherry and KC and the Sunshine Band....but this music was like none of that. I don't know how to categorize Phoebe Snow....She was like, Jazz, light r& b, folk, and just plain eclectic all wound up into one...

I ventured into the sisters room...She had a huge afro..bell bottomed jeans and incense burning...She offered me a joint...I passed...(I was still kind of green back then) She offered me some tea and she began rapping about this two year old album by this white girl, who's hair certainly made her look like she was half black.

The song that hooked me was "Poetry Man", but she played another song off that album called "Two Fisted Love" that is one of my favorites to this day. Everytime I hear either one of those songs..I'm reminded of that time so long ago...When I was young...When everybody I knew was young and innocent.

Another piece of my youth...of my innocence died yesterday....For those that didn't know...Phoebe Snow...born Phoebe Laub was raised in a household where Delta blues, Broadway show tunes, Dixieland jazz, classical music and folk music recordings were played around the clock. Her father, Merrill Laub, was an exterminator by trade, had an encyclopedic knowledge of American film and theater and was an avid collector and restorer of antiques. Her mother, Lili, was a dance teacher who had danced with the Martha Graham group at one time.

Her mother died after a 12-year struggle with bone cancer. She grew up in Teaneck, New Jersey and graduated from Teaneck High School. She subsequently attended Shimer College in Mount Carroll, Illinois, but did not graduate. As a teenager, she carried her prized Martin 00018 acoustic guitar from club to club around Greenwich Village, playing and singing on amateur nights. Her stage name is the same as a fictional advertising character created in the early 1900s for the Delaware, Lackawanna and Western Railroad, a young woman named Phoebe Snow, who appeared on boxcars traveling near her hometown.

She was briefly married to Phil Kearns, and, in December 1975, gave birth to a severely brain-injured daughter, Valerie. Snow resolved not to institutionalize her but instead care for her at home, which she did until Valerie died on March 18, 2007 at the age of 31. Snow's efforts to care for Valerie greatly and negatively affected her professional career, nearly ending it; it also adversely affected her personal life.

Phoebe Snow continued to take voice lessons, and she studied opera informally.But it was at the Bitter End club in 1972 that Denny Cordell, a promotions executive for Shelter Records, was so taken by the singer that he signed her to the label and produced her first recording.

She released an eponymous album, Phoebe Snow, in 1974. Featuring guest performances by The Persuasions, Zoot Sims, Teddy Wilson, David Bromberg and Dave Mason, Phoebe Snow's album became one of the most acclaimed debut recordings of the era.[citation needed] It spawned the Billboard Hot 100 #5 hit single, "Poetry Man," reached number 4 on the Billboard 200 album chart, won Phoebe Snow a nomination for the Grammy Award for Best New Artist, and established her as a formidable singer/songwriter.

The cover of Rolling Stone magazine followed, while she performed as the opening act for tours by Jackson Browne and Paul Simon (with whom she recorded the hit single "Gone at Last" in 1975). 1975 also brought the first of several appearances as a musical guest on Saturday Night Live, on which Snow performed both solo and in duets with Paul Simon and Linda Ronstadt. During the 1975 appearance, she was seven months pregnant with her daughter who was severely brain damaged.

Legal battles took place between Snow and Shelter Records, and Snow ended up signed to Columbia Records. Her second album, Second Childhood, appeared in 1976, produced by Phil Ramone. It was jazzier and more introspective, and suffered disappointing sales.[citation needed] Snow moved to a harder sound for It Looks Like Snow, released later in 1976 with David Rubinson producing. 1977 saw Never Letting Go, again with Ramone, while 1978's Against the Grain was helmed by Barry Beckett. After that Snow parted ways with Columbia; she would later say that the stress of her parental obligations degraded her ability to make music effectively.

In 1981,  Phoebe Snow, now signed with Mirage Records, released Rock Away, recorded with members of Billy Joel's band; it spun off the Top 50 hit "Games". The 1983 Rolling Stone Record Guide summed up Snow's career so far by saying: "One of the most gifted voices of her generation, Phoebe Snow can do just about anything stylistically as well as technically ... The question that's still unanswered is how best to channel such talent."

However,Phoebe Snow would now spend long periods away from recording, often singing commercial jingles for AT&T and others in order to support herself and her daughter. During the 1980s she also battled her own life-threatening illness.

Phoebe Snow returned to recording with Something Real in 1989 and gathered a few more hits on the Adult Contemporary charts. Also, Snow composed the Detroit's WDIV-TV Go 4 It! campaign in 1980. She sang Ancient Places, Sacred Lands on Reading Rainbow's tenth episode The Gift of the Sacred Dog which was based on the book by Paul Goble and narrated by actor Michael Ansara. It was shot at Crow Agency, Montana in 1983.

Phoebe Snow performed in 1989 on stage at Avery Fisher Hall in New York City as part of Our Common Future, a five hour live television broadcast originating from several countries.

In 1990, she contributed a cover version of the Delaney & Bonnie song "Get ourselves together" to the Elektra compilation Rubáiyát which included Earth Wind & Fire guitarist Dick Smith. In 1992, she toured with Donald Fagen's New York Rock and Soul Revue and was featured on the group's album recorded live at the Beacon Theater in New York City. Even when she wasn't recording her own works, Phoebe continued to tour extensively as a solo artist throughout North America, Great Britain, Germany, and the Far East.

Throughout the '90s she made numerous appearances on the Howard Stern radio show. She sang live for specials and birthday shows.  In 1997, she sang the Roseanne theme song a cappella during the closing moments of the final episode.

Phoebe has performed with a numerous artists including Lou Rawls, Ladysmith Black Mambazo, Dave Grusin, Avenue Blue with Jeff Golub, Garland Jeffreys, Jewel, Donald Fagen, Paul Simon, Billy Joel, Queen, Hiroshi Fujiwara, Jackson Browne, Dave Mason, Linda Ronstadt, Bonnie Raitt, Michael McDonald, Boz Scaggs, Cyndi Lauper, Roger Daltrey, Chaka Khan, CeCe Peniston, Take 6, Michael Bolton, Thelma Houston, Mavis Staples, Laurie Anderson, Tracy Nelson, and The Sisters of Glory (with whom she performed at the second Woodstock festival), among others.

She also sings the title track on the 1997 Laura Nyro tribute album, Time and Love, and recently Snow joined the pop group, Zap Mama, who recorded its own version of "Poetry Man," in an impromptu duet on the PBS series, "Sessions At West 54th." Hawaiian girl group Na Leo also had a hit on the Adult Contemporary chart in 1999 with their cover version of "Poetry Man."

In May 1998,Phoebe Snow received the Cultural Achievement Award by New York City Mayor Rudolph Giuliani. She is also the recipient of a Don Kirschner Rock Award, several Playboy Music Poll Awards, New York Music Awards and the Clio Award.

She performed for President Clinton, the First Lady, and his cabinet at Camp David in 1999.

In 2003, Snow released her album Natural Wonder on Eagle Records, containing ten original tracks, her first original material in fourteen years.

Phoebe Snow performed at Howard Stern's wedding in 2008, and made a special appearance in the film Noah's Arc: Jumping the Broom as herself. Some of her music was also featured on the soundtrack of the film. Her Live album (2008) featured many of her hits as well as a cover of "Piece of My Heart."

Phoebe Snow suffered a brain hemmorage  on January 19, 2010 and underwent surgery. Prior to her illness,she had planned to release a new album in 2010, and had been scheduled to begin touring with her band in March. Unfortunately...with her death yesterday, that was not to be...

Rest in Peace Phoebe...and thank you...for everything!

Tuesday, April 26, 2011

The War of The Marshalls

If I don't watch out..this is going to become a sports blog...This is my second sports themed post in as many days... ( If you recall, depending on how long you've been reading this blog.. My very first post was about sports...and football in particular.) This happens to be about wide receiver ,Brandon Marshall...In trouble yet again...

It appears that NFL wide receiver, Brandon Marshall was released from a Fort Lauderdale, Fla., hospital on Saturday after his wife, Michi Nogami-Marshall, allegedly stabbed him in the stomach with a kitchen knife Friday evening.

Nogami-Marshall was bailed out of jail on Saturday on a $7,500 bond after being arrested Friday. When cops arrived to the couple’s home, Marshall claimed that a shard of glass from a shattered vase cut his stomach, but the officers weren't buying it. "The area where the vase was broken indicated no blood within the immediate area to substantiate his claim," said a police report.

Mrs. Marshall soon admitted that she stabbed her husband, but insisted that it was in self-defense. It's not surprising that Brandon Marshall is said to have a history of violent relationships, including his current marriage. In March 2009, the couple -- who were engaged at the time -- were arrested for disorderly conduct when cops saw them fighting outside of Brandon Marshall's home in Atlanta. The charges, however, were eventually dropped.

This couple is extremely fortunate that no one was killed during the brawl. Unless Brandon Marshall seeks help for his issues with aggression, the violence between the two will not likely cease. Based on Marshall's history and this couple's rocky past, it would be best if they both sought some type of marital counseling or anger management or something. They both need a time out. And it wouldn't hurt if Brandon took a few lessons on how to keep his hands off women.

Monday, April 25, 2011

Stayin Alive!

I spent the second part of Easter Sunday, (After church of course and a visit with my daughter and grandchildren) watching three Basketball games and a snippet of the Phillies game against the Padres. The Phillies are in first place currently and had won the past two games against the Padres, So I wasn't worried about them. I was however determined to be a loyal Sixers fan to the very end... I'm not some bandwagon guy...I don't root for my team when they're in first place and abandon them (and wear some other team's colors) when my team is doing bad.

The Philadelphia 76ers aren't bad....They improved this year and they are in the playoffs mind you.  Many other teams are not still playing.  The Philadelphia 76ers are not GOOD either...Not good enough to beat the new improved Miami Heat of Lebron James, Dwayne Wade and Chris Bosh in a four game series either! Never the less..I said that I would watch this last game and see my Sixers mercifully put out of their misery...After all...they were down, 3-0 in a series even they didn't expect to win.  I'm sure Lebron and company already had their bags packed and were ready for the winner of Boston - New York.....

Not so fast!   Yesterday...the Sixers won....86-82.....Put a quarter in the meter and park right there...The Sixers won ,86-82...Savor it...

They failed to sweep a pesky and resilient Philadelphia 76ers team.In allowing the Sixers to win 86-82 yesterday, The Miami Heat showed that the challenges awaiting them once they earn a shot at the Boston Celtics will be as much about the confounding issues they've yet to do away with of their own as the threat the Boston Celtics pose.

This is supposedly a Miami Heat team capable of being so great that no deficit is insurmountable. It's also a Miami Heat team so capable of those letdowns that few leads ever feel safe, I'm just saying.

I mean look, The Heat trailed by 16 points in the second quarter, then the Heat rattled off a 22-2 run with such power and confidence that they looked every bit like the best team in the NBA, like winning that Trophy in June was just a forgone conclusion.

The Problem was, the surge of greatness in the first half led to the dizzying display of frailty at the game's end: With 1:34 left, Miami held a six-point lead and a sure sweep in its grasp....but wait a minute...They then allowed the young 76ers to run off ten straight points and beat them 86-82...just like that!!!

Lebron was shocked! Dwayne Wade looked like he needed a laxative, Chris Bosh looked like he wanted to cry...and somewhere, Charles Barkley (who predicted a sweep) was shaking his head...Me? I was overjoyed!

The Heat found away to snatch defeat from the jaws of victory as my old high school coach used to tell the football team routinely!

Evan Turner hit a floater. Mario Chalmers missed a 3-point attempt for the sixth time. Jrue Holiday froze Dwyane Wade and dropped his own three. Wade missed a jumper, and suddenly Lou Williams was dropping another three that shifted the series back to Miami. Not that it had to be that way.

Down two points, the Heat broke from a timeout with 8.1 seconds left. The ball went to LeBron James -- not Wade -- and The Chosen One took it strong to the hole. But one Elton Brand blocked shot later, the game was as good as over.

"We've been doing so much better with our execution down the stretch of close games and we have incredible confidence in our defense to be able to close teams out," Heat coach Erik Spoelstra said.

So, in not closing out the Philadelphia 76ers,The Miami Heat showed all the flaws that could hinder this team's big dreams and stunning collection of talent -- its poor point-guard play; its lackadaisical starts to key games; too often turning to LeBron James when Dwayne Wade should be the go-to guy with the game on the line; a poor starting lineup that gets outplayed; and, again, Chris Bosh shrinking in big games.

Now either The Miami Heat fix the problems,and real soon, or they can get ready for some off season fishing and golf. Because coming soon are other championship-caliber teams (Celtics, Bulls, Lakers) that will pounce on any weakness Miami bares.
Believe me...they are all watching this series.

That all said...I don't believe the Sixers can win this series..They are too far behind..but it was nice to get one win...It is nice to still be playing...(I'll bet New York Knicks fans would love to still be playing right now.) Somewhere in the background I keep hearing the Bee Gees singing "Stayin Alive"

Sunday, April 24, 2011

Keith's Favorite Quotes

"God speaks to me not through the thunder and the earthquake, nor through the ocean and the stars, but through the Son of Man, and speaks in a language adapted to my imperfect sight and hearing."- William Lyon Phelps.

He Lives ! -Happy Resurrection Day !

Saturday, April 23, 2011

Phylicia, Found!

I usually write a Saturday Seven or a fluff piece on a Saturday...but this news was too important and too distressing (is that a word?) to just ignore or wait to print another time. On February 2, 2011..I wrote a post about the young lady in the photo above. She had gone missing..I wondered aloud if Nancy Grace and Investigative Discovery Television were going to profile her case as they had so many Caucasian women who have gone missing. It doesn't matter now... The mystery is over...Phylicia Barnes has been found! Dead!

ABC News reported early yesterday that the body of missing honors student, Phylicia Barnes has been found in the Susquehanna River. Her body was recovered along with that of an unidentified male yesterday.

Preliminary autopsies failed to determine what caused the deaths of Barnes or the unidentified male, said Terrence Sheridan, superintendent of the Maryland State Police. Sheridan also stated that there was no evidence linking the two deaths other than the proximity of their bodies. "There was no indication of any overt wounds or injuries to Phylicia Barnes' body," Sheridan said.

Phylicia Barnes was 16 when she went missing on Dec. 28 during a trip to visit her half sister. She has been the subject of a multi-jurisdictional missing persons investigation since at least January, officials said. The straight-A student was from Monroe, N.C., and was last heard from Dec. 28, 2010, via Facebook, when she posted a note saying that she was at her half sister's apartment with her half sister's boyfriend. She would have turned 17 on January 12th. This is a very sad ending to a tragic story.

Baltimore police called this one of the strangest and most vexing missing persons cases they've ever investigated, and despite getting help from the FBI, they had few leads.

As I wrote in February,The Police alerted local media soon after Phylicia Barnes' mysterious disappearance, sounding the alarm that her disappearance was unusual because she had no history of disputes with her family or trouble with the law. Investigators believe she may have been kidnapped and possibly taken out of state, and with no suspects or physical evidence, they feared the worst. More than 100 police officers combed a northwest Baltimore park a week after her disappearance, but found no signs of a body or clues to her whereabouts.

Now that is all a footnote.. Her body has been found and the worst has come to pass..She's been found dead.  Just what happened to young Phylicia Barnes? It's not for me to speculate....That will be determined by an autopsy and a police investigation.  Who is the other man found in the river with her? autopsy and a police investigation will determine that...I just feel bad...bad because a young person has lost their life..
She was 16 or 17 years old....She should have been preparing for her senior prom....getting her drivers licensce, thinking about graduation and whether or not she would be going to college....Not floating in the river with an unidentified male body....She just deserved better than that!

Friday, April 22, 2011

Weekend Humor

Jahari was sitting outside his neighborhood bar one day, enjoying a cold Corona and generally feeling good about himself, when a nun suddenly appears at his table and starts decrying the evils of drinking.

"You should be ashamed of yourself young man! Drinking is a Sin! Alcohol is the blood of the devil!"

Now Jahari gets pretty pissed about this, and goes on the offensive.

"How do you know this, Sister?" he asks.
"Because Mother Superior told me so." she says haughtily.

"But have you ever had a drink yourself? How can you be so sure that what you are saying is right?" he asks.

"Don't be ridiculous--of course I have never taken alcohol myself" she snaps!

"Then let me buy you a drink - if you still believe that afterwards that it is evil I tell ya what, I promise...I'll quit drinkin." says Johari.

"How could I, a Nun, sit outside this bar drinking?!" she said in disgust.

"I'll get the barman to put it in a teacup for you, then no one will ever know."

The Nun reluctantly agrees, so Johari goes inside to the bar.

" Hey Gus ,Another Corona for me, and a triple vodka on the rocks", then he lowers his voice and says to Gus "and could you put the vodka in a teacup?"

Gus rolls his eyes and whispers to Johari.

"Oh no! It's not that Nun again is it?"

Wednesday, April 20, 2011

75 Years Too Late!

I hate stories like this....I have to give credit where credit is due , to my wife, who made me aware of this story. She posted it on her Facebook page.

She said that In 1936,a black woman named Fanetta Nelson, a top student and piano prodigy, was denied being named valedictorian, a wrong righted only recently.75 years after the fact.

See, this should be one of those ohh gosh darn feel good stories , but it's not..Not to me...After I tell you the story, I'll explain why it's not. In 1936, Fanetta Nelson, a top student and piano prodigy, attended Westinghouse High School in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, where she was destined to be valedictorian, just as her sister had been three years before. Unfortunately, the school principal vowed not to allow a second African-American make valedictorian - only two years prior, Nelson’s sister, Sophia, had been awarded the honor at graduation. "We are not gonna have two niggruhs walking around here as valedictorians." said the Principal.

What was even more surprising to the Nelson sister's parents, who, coincidentally, were both teachers, was that their younger daughter’s stellar academic performance had met the 1936 requirements for valedictorian, but the principal had forced her music teacher to lower her grade from an A to B to prevent her from gaining the top spot in the class. Some years later, the music teacher confessed what he had done to the Nelsons.

Despite the young woman's setback at Westinghouse High and the discrimination both she and her sister endured, they both attended the University of Pittsburgh and became school teachers. Fanetta Nelson also became a concert pianist.

Recently, a Westinghouse High School alumni, Reggie Bridges, joined with former classmates to right the wrong done to Fanetta Nelson . Upon investigation, they clearly saw the erasure marks on her transcript. The high school agreed, and historical records now acknowledge Fanetta Nelson as the 1936 valedictorian. Unfortunately, Fanetta Nelson won't be able to accept her due or bask in decades long vindication. You see, Fanetta Nelson died in 2008. She was 88 years old. Her older sister, Sophia accepted the award for her.

In a sense...This is a great story about justice delayed, but finally not denied..but to is justice done too late. These steps should have been taken years ago while the victim was still alive and breathing. My mother and my aunt always said -"Give me my flowers while I can smell them."

If you want to know the truth...This should have never ever happened...but the small mindedness and idiocy that was American racism and a sign of those times, unfortunately..prevailed. Shame on that principal..shame on him..I won't ever give American racism any quarter at any time..nor the people who perpetrate it and benefit from it.

I am thankful that some good, well meaning people decided to right a decades old wrong...but for poor Fanetta...It's at least three years too late..if not 75.

Monday, April 18, 2011

What I've Learned ( from the world's oldest man)

Last Week, Walter Breuning,died at the age of 111. He was said to be the world's oldest man...Having lived as long as he did , he definitely left behind some lessons worth heeding..Here is what he learned-

1.Embrace change, even when the change slaps you in the face. ("Every change is good.")

2. Eat two meals a day ("That's all you need.")

3. Work as long as you can ("That money's going to come in handy.")

4.Help others ("The more you do for others, the better shape you're in.")Yes...I concur.

5.Never be afraid to die. Because you're born to die.

Worthy life lessons indeed!

Saturday, April 16, 2011

Saturday 7 ( Seven Things That Has Me Scratching My Head)

Here are seven things that have me scratching my head lately-

1.Why is Donald Trump on this birther kick? and what's more...Why are people taking him seriously? (That was two things wasn't it?)

2.Now that the Iraqi war is all but over, What did we acomplish?

3.Why did they open a so called "Naked Pool" in Las Vegas recently, yet require people under 21 (who shouldn't be allowed in this pool in the first place) to cover their bottom?)

4.Nobody gives the Sixers a chance at winning even one game against the Heat, Yet they give the Knicks, who are maybe one game better, a shot at upsetting the Celtics...I just don't get it!

5.Why Does Ghadafi think that the majority of his people actually love him?

6.Republicans are trying to phase out medicare for people under 55...Do they really think that's going to go over well come the 2012 elections?

7.Why is Little Wayne (or Weezy, depending on how much of a fan you are) considered the best rapper out there? Really?? The Best??

Friday, April 15, 2011

Weekend Humor

Duke left for work on Friday morning. Friday was payday, so instead of going home, Duke stayed out the entire weekend partying with the homeys and spending his entire check.

Finally, Duke arrived at home on Sunday night, and obviously he was confronted by his angry wife, Marlene who castigated Duke for nearly two hours with a tirade befitting his actions. Finally, Marlene stopped the nagging and said to Duke, ''How would you like it if you didn't see me for two or three days?'

Duke replied grimly, "Hell ,that would be fine with me."

Monday went by and he didn't see Marlene. Tuesday and Wednesday came and went with the same results.

By Thursday, the swelling had gone down just enough so that Duke could see Marlene a little out of the corner of his left eye!

Thursday, April 14, 2011

Keith's Favorite Quotes

I haven't written one of these posts in a long time...I usually save this stuff for Facebook and Twitter, but hey, I really didn't have anything pressing to write about today and I wanted to drop a little knowledge on you good folks, so here it is- In less than 140 charactors no doubt-

"The miracle is not to fly in the air, or to walk on the water, but to walk on the earth. Chinese Proverb

Philosophical like the big dog!

Wednesday, April 13, 2011

Birther Smirther!

I have never been impressed by or particularly liked Donald Trump. Let me go on the record and just say that before I get started. I have a lot of friends who idolize the man. They watch his totally useless "reality" TV show, Celebrity Apprentice where every week he gets to publicly humiliate somebody by saying -"You're fire uhhhed."
and squeal with delight.

My friends...some of them anyway..Go to his casinos in Atlantic City and vicariously live through him..They talk about him and his money and his mis-adventures as though they are him. I just shake my head. To me, he's a clown. To his peers , and by that I mean those with as much or more money than he..he's a clown, a self agrandizing, self promoting narcisstic man with a big check book.

Now in his latest attempt to get people to "look at me" He's attempting to run for President of the United States. I say attempting because I'm pretty sure he will have lost interest in a few months , when his next big idea for self promotion comes along.

I don't mind anybody running for President....But I do mind you running and not having a clue or original idea as to how to take care of some serious problems this nation faces. Donald Trump, allegedly the Republican Party front runner right now is running on the cheapest of cheap shots...The birther issue...The theory that President Obama was born in Kenya. Depending on which nut you listen to, it's Guam one week, Kenya the next and Bahrain the week after that.

Shame on Donald Trump for pandering to the very stupidest branch of the extreme right wing. The Birthers! I am pretty sure that they didn't read yesterday's paper...If they did (If they can) they'd know that The Hawaiian state health official who personally reviewed Barack Obama's original birth certificate has affirmed again that the document is "real" and denounced "conspiracy theorists" in the so-called "birther" movement for continuing to spread bogus claims about the issue.

That's right! "It’s kind of ludicrous at this point," said Dr. Chiyome Fukino, the former director of Hawaii's Department of Health. Dr. Fukino sounding both exasperated and amused spoke to a reporter in the aftermath of Donald Trump's statements on the NBC Today show last week questioning whether President Obama has a legitimate birth certificate.

Donald Trump, who says he is considering a run for president, repeated his claims on CNN's "State of the Union" Sunday, saying that "nobody has any information" about the president's birth and that "if he wasn't born in this country, he shouldn't be president of the United States."

Funny Thing is...Donald Trump has never convinced me that he was born on this planet! Ever took a look at his "do"? Looks like it came from outer space!
I know and you know that no matter what state officials release on the issue, the "birthers" are going to question it. "They’re going to question the ink on which it was written or say it was fabricated," said Dr.Fukino. "The whole thing is silly."
Yes...I agree.

As the top Hawaiian official in charge of state health records in 2008, when the issue of Obama's birth first arose, Dr. Fukino said she thought she had put the matter to rest. Dr. Fukino expanded on previous public statements and made two key points when asked about Trump's recent comments.

The first is that the original so-called "long form birth certificate — described by Hawaiian officials as a "record of live birth" — absolutely exists, located in a bound volume in a file cabinet on the first floor of the state Department of Health. Dr. Fukimo said she has personally inspected it — twice. The first time was in late October 2008, during the closing days of the presidential campaign, when the communications director for the state's then Republican governor, Linda Lingle (who appointed Fukino) asked if she could make a public statement in response to claims then circulating on the Internet that Barack Obama was actually born in Kenya.

Before she would do so, Dr. Fukino said, she wanted to inspect the files — and did so, taking with her the state official in charge of vital records. She found the original birth record, properly numbered, half typed and half handwritten, and signed by the doctor who delivered Barack Hussein Obama II on August 4, 1961, located in the files. She then put out a public statement asserting to the document's validity. She later put out another public statement in July 2009 — after reviewing the original birth record a second time.

"It is real, and no amount of saying it is not, is going to change that,"Dr. Fukino said. Moreover, she added, her boss at the time, Governor Lingle — who was backing John McCain for president — would presumably have to be in on any cover up since Dr.Fukino made her public comment at the governor's office's request. "Why would a Republican governor — who was stumping for the other guy — hold out on a big secret?" she asked. That's what I'm asking..That's what any sensible person would be asking.

Her second point — one she made repeatedly in the interview — is that the shorter, computer generated "certification of live birth" that was obtained by the Obama campaign in 2007 and has since been publicly released is the standard document that anybody requesting their birth certificate from the state of Hawaii would receive from the health department.

The document was distributed to the Obama campaign in 2007 after then Senator Obama, at the request of a campaign official, personally signed a Hawaii birth certificate request form downloaded on the Internet, according to a former campaign official who asked for anonymity. (Barack Obama was "testy" when asked to sign the form but did so anyway to put the issue to rest, the former campaign official said. The White House has dismissed all questions about the president's birth as "fictional nonsense.")

Hawaiian officials say that the certification is, in fact, only one piece of abundant evidence of Obama's birth in Hawaii. Joshua Wisch, a spokesman for the Hawaii attorney general's office, noted that a public index of vital records, available for inspection in a bound volume at the Health Department's Office of Health Status Monitoring, lists a male child named "Obama II, Barack Hussein" as having been born in the state.

In addition, as and other media organizations have repeatedly pointed out, both of Honolulu's newspapers, the Honolulu Advertiser on Aug. 13, 1961, and the Honolulu Star Bulletin, on Aug. 14, 1961, both ran birth announcements listing Barack Obama's birth on Aug. 4 of that year.

There are enough stupid people in America though to still be in doubt despite this.
A man from California was stopped by the Hawaiian officials today from viewing President Obama's birth records. Why is this such an issue? If he wasn't an African American, would we even be having this discussion?

Did anybody question President Clinton's birth or President Bush?? If I ran for President tomorrow, would they question my birth?? and I was born in the most American city in the country...Philadelphia, PA!!!You know the answers to all of the questions I am asking. Donald Trump knows the answers too...Shame on you Donald for taking such a cheap shot at the President...Stick to what you do best...promoting yourself and your casinos...Leave politics to those who have a clue!

Monday, April 11, 2011

Weekend Update

Once again, I was with some of my favorite people. My grandchildren!

Saturday, April 9, 2011

Saturday Seven ( 7 People On My Playlist)

Here are seven people who I'm playing in constant rotation...

1. Jennifer Hudson, "I Remember Me" (Arista)

I love me some J-Hud...R.Kelly's Song..."Where You At" is reason enough to rock this. Alicia Keys contributed a selection called "Angel" that makes it even more worth the experience.

2.Marsha Ambrosius -"Late Nights & Early Mornings"

Floetry Who? The former lead singer of the group ,Floetry steps out on her own and more than acquits herself here on this CD. Everybody is rocking "Far Away"...but the real show stopper here in the Lauryn Hill penned number called "Lose Myself."

3.Jazmine Sullivan "Love Me Back"

You know I have to give mad props to my Philly Home Girl...I love this entire CD...but my faves are "Excuse Me" , The duet with Ne Yo.."U Get On My Nerves" and "10 Seconds.", which sounds like it could have been recorded at Stax Records in the mid sixties... This is soul singing for the new millenium.

4.Jamie Foxx -"Best Night Of My Life"
To be honest, I kind of think that Jamie Foxx may be growing a little old to be singing with autotune and to be hanging with Drake...but hey, what do I know?  I like "Best Night of My Life" , (I always fall) for your type" and "Livin Better Now" with the Biggie Sample...It's all good....For now.

5.Charlie Wilson- Just Charlie

I Love My Uncle Charlie...This release is flawless...This is an old head who is schooling the youngins. showin em how it's done...Go head Charlie Wilson! "You Are" is probably going to played and sung at everybody's wedding this summer!

6. Eric Benet -Lost in Time.

The music on this release is definitely lost in time..It's lost back in a time when real musicians and singers who could actually sing created masterpieces on wax. There was no autotune...No were getting the real.  That's what this album harkens back to.  Stand outs are "Never wanna live without you" and "Sometimes I Cry." There is a great duet here with Ojays front man, Eddie Levert called "Paid" that you shouldn't sleep on.

7. Sade and Jay Z - The Moon and the Sky.

I don't have a photo because this has not been released yet...but I am anticipating it...It will be the first time Sade has ever collaborated with anyone...and who better than Jay -Hova...You can't go wrong there.
 This will definitely be on my spring playlist.

Friday, April 8, 2011

Weekend Humor

This is the true story of George Phillips of Meridian, Mississippi, who was going to bed when his wife told him that he'd left the light on in the shed. George opened the door to go turn off the light but saw there were people in the shed in the process of stealing things.

He immediately phoned the police, who asked "Is someone in your house?" and George said no and explained the situation. Then they explained that all patrols were busy, and that he should simply lock his door and an officer would be there when available.

George said, "Okay," hung up, counted to 30, and phoned the police again.

"Hello, I just called you a few seconds ago because there were people in my shed. Well, you don't have to worry about them now because I've just shot them all."

Then he hung up. Within five minutes three squad cars, an Armed Response unit, and an ambulance showed up. Of course, the police caught the burglars red-handed.

One of the policemen said to George: "I thought you said that you'd shot them!"

George said, "And I thought you said there was nobody available!"

Thursday, April 7, 2011

It's A Baseball Game...Come On!

News Like this always distresses me...Check this out...In Los Angelas a San Francisco Giants fan who was beaten at Dodger Stadium after last week's opening game shows signs of brain damage and remains in critical condition, a doctor said yesterday.

Meanwhile, detectives were looking into unconfirmed reports that the same suspects struck other Giants fans minutes before the attack that left Bryan Stow in a coma.

Bryon Stow, a 42-year-old paramedic and father of two from Santa Cruz, remained in critical but guarded condition at Los Angeles County-USC Medical Center. He suffered a severe skull fracture and bad bruising to his brain's frontal lobes, said Dr. Gabriel Zada, a neurosurgeon.

At one point, doctors had to remove the entire left side of his skull to ease pressure on his brain. The pressure is now normal but Stow remains in a coma from his injuries and from sedation to reduce his brain activity, Zada said.

''There is evidence of brain injury and dysfunction,'' Zada said.

It was too early to make a prognosis but such injuries can affect memory, thinking ability and even personality, Zada said.

Bryan Stow was in a parking lot heading to a taxi stand after the Dodgers' 2-1 victory over the Giants on March 31 when two shaven-headed young men in Dodgers clothing began taunting and swearing at him and two other fans, who were all wearing Giants gear, police said.

Bryan Stow was punched in the back of the head. He fell down, bashing his head on the pavement, and was kicked before the attackers ran off.

They fled in a four-door sedan driven by a woman who had a boy with her, police said.

Composite sketches of the men have been released.

The City Council on Tuesday voted to offer a $50,000 reward for information leading to arrests. With previous offers from the Dodgers, Giants and others, that brings the total to $100,000.

''It's going to be a long recovery process,'' he said.

Investigators had several leads and some evidence that was recovered at the scene, Detective Jose Carrillo said. He did not provide details.

He estimated that out of some 40,000 people who streamed into the parking lot after the game, at least 100 probably were near enough to see the attack and he urged them to contact police. It was too dark for video surveillance camera to provide clear images, he said.

Investigators also were looking into unconfirmed reports that Stow's attackers punched three or four young men in Giants gear only minutes before Stow was assaulted, Carrillo said.

Stow, an enthusiastic Giants fan, was attending his first game at Dodgers Stadium and had looked forward to the game all year, his first cousin, John Stow, said.

However, he may have had some worries after arriving.

''During the game, my wife received a text message from him ... He basically said he was scared inside the stadium,'' John Stow said, adding that his cousin did not usually make such comments lightly.

Stow's parents, two sisters and other relatives attended a news conference at the hospital.

John Stow, who wore a Giants hat and jersey, called the attackers thugs who should give themselves up and ''have the courage to face the facts and face the book for what you've done here.''

Family members also said they did not blame Dodger fans for the attack and had received prayers and good wishes from locals and people as far away as England.

''Though this has been a terrible tragedy done by cowardly people, it is reassuring to know that good people are speaking out and are appalled,'' John Stow said.

''We have no animosity toward the people of Los Angeles. We've been received with open arms and love,'' said a sister, Erin Collins.

Of the attackers, she said: ''They weren't true Dodger fans.''

No they weren't ...They were idiots...Idiots who every year throw their lives away by getting too hyped up over sports.  Don't get me wrong...I love sports and no one is a more vocal supporter of their home teams (76ers, Eagles,Phillies,Flyers) than I...but I wouldn't harm a hair on any fan of an opposing team regardless of the outcome of the game.

These athletes and coaches make a lot of money.  I don't receive a red cent of it one way or the other...Neither does anyone else not associated with the team...Why would I fight someone or harm some other FAN of another team, who is not getting paid either.
This is what I mean...The things we as Americans should be fired up about (Like a possible government shutdown and deep cuts in education and health benefits) they don't....Ohhhhh but some of us are ready to kill someone for wearing a hat or t-shirt of an opposing sports team!  Incredible!!! Knuckleheadism at it's best is still alive and well in America!

Wednesday, April 6, 2011

Shut Down Blues

It appears that our government could be headed for another shutdown soon. Funny...The thought of this doesn't ever seem to alarm people the way it should. Tasha Mack's fate on "The Game", Mr. C. being caught with a tranny in his car yesterday and Oprah giving Donald Trump a new "do" is far more pressing...I forgot.

We'd better start taking these things serious. Yesterday, a visibly frustrated President Barack Obama emerged from a failed meeting on a budget deal and said he would demand daily sessions with House Speaker John "cry Me a River"Boehner until an agreement was hammered out to prevent a possible U.S. government shutdown at the end of this week.

President Obama spoke not long after Speaker Boehner's office issued a statement that insisted the two sides remained far apart and that Republicans had never, as the White House contends, agreed on $33 billion in cuts to the federal spending allotment for the remaining six months of the fiscal year that ends Sept. 30. Oh Really? That's not what I heard and certainly much different from the way they were talking since January...Can you say- "Flip Flop"?

President Obama, Vice President Joe Biden,  Speaker John Boehner and Sen. Majority Leader Harry Reid met in the White House Tuesday as the clock ticked toward a midnight Friday expiration of the government's spending authority.

"We are closer than we have ever been to an agreement. There is no reason why we should not get an agreement,"President Obama said in a surprise appearance in the White House reporters briefing room.

The president said Boehner and Reid were meeting later Tuesday, but if that session produced no agreement he would summon both men back to the White House Wednesday and daily thereafter, if necessary.

"Myself, Joe Biden, my team we are prepared to meet for as long as possible to get this resolved," Obama said.

President Obama had barely finished speaking when House Speaker Boehner strode before microphones to insist that the White House and Senate Democrats bow to demands for deeper cuts.John Boehner is under extreme pressure from newly elected House members, many with allegiance to those ultraconservative malcontents, You guessed it,The Tea party, to slash spending, the size of government and lower taxes.

Short of a long-term deal,House Speaker Boehner has proposed an agreement that would keep the government running for one more week and cut another $12 billion in spending. John Boehner has already orchestrated action by Congress to pass a pair of stopgap bills, so far cutting $10 billion from an estimated $1.2 trillion budget to fund the day-to-day operations of government through the fiscal accounting period.

President Obama said he would only accept another short-term funding extension, of two or three days, to get a longer-term deal through Congress. But he ruled out a longer extension to allow negotiations to continue.

"That is not a way to run a government. I cannot have our agencies making plans based on two week budgets," President Obama said. "What we are not going to do is once again put off something that should have been done months ago." Bravo Mister President...I couldn't agree more.

But House Speaker Boehner countered by saying Republicans "will not be put in a box" of accepting options they refuse to endorse.

The Democrats accused the Republicans of pushing for harmful spending cuts and attaching a social policy agenda to the must-pass spending bill.House Speaker Boehner counters that the White House is pressing gimmicky budget cuts. And so on and so on and scooby dooby dooby! As Sly said-''We got to live together."

Looks to me like a government shutdown appears increasingly inevitable. The White House has begun advising government agencies on the proper steps in preparation for a shutdown of the government. Republicans on Monday disclosed plans to instruct lawmakers "on how the House would operate in the event Senate Democrats shut down the government." See how they worded that...'Senate Democrats shut down the government."

Did you really not see this coming? Do you even care? This is the result of many of you not voting in November. I know...I know, I keep going back to that...But look at what is happening....Government on the verge of shutdowns...Republican governors shamelessly cutting education money, crippling unions rights to bargain collectively,et al. I saw all of this coming. You didn't? The President was having a hard enough time when his party had control of the house and the senate..Now that he no longer has that luxury...It's only going to get worse...We've allowed some pretty scary people to get elected.. We are just starting to pay for that!

Tuesday, April 5, 2011

In Spite Of It

43 years ago, Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. was murdered in Memphis. A lot of people who read this blog weren't born then...I was just 10 years old myself. A lot of people hear stories about that time and hear about how a lot of those civil rights people risked their lives to obtain the rights we all enjoy today and that seems foreign to them. It seems foreign to me.

I must admit...I've grown up in a somewhat different America. The Ku Klux Klan is still around, but it doesn't have the sway and the prestige and power it once had. More than likely if they lynch someone or bomb a church, killing it's inhabitants...They will be prosecuted and punished.  There was a time when they would not have been indicted! The men would have openly have bragged about what they had done and all white juries would not have brought charges against them and if they did, they would not have convicted them. Recently, a man in Texas and a man in Alabama have been sent to Death Row for two racially motivated slayings...Unheard of even in 1968....The year Dr. King was killed.

We have an African -American President! That was unthinkable in 1968...It was unthinkable in early 2008...but it happened! I have been in Texas and Georgia and Florida and North and South Carolina and seen Black males and White females walking hand and hand...Going to proms together and getting married and having babies...Unthinkable huh? The year I was born, that could have gotten them both killed!

For as much as America is seemingly different and supposedly Post Racial....It is still very much the same....The Congress and The House are full of newly sworn in officials who oppose everything this President proposes , just because he is Black! I'm not just talking about Republicans and Tea Party members...Some Democrats too! It is so obvious to me that a lot of white people in this country voted against their class interests and voted in a lot of these scary Republicans, who are now cutting their jobs and their health benefits and taking away their unions rights to collectively bargain(thus making them ineffective) and gutting the public education system that will be educating some of their children, just because they felt that voting Republican was a blow to this African-American President.  They essentially shot themselves in the foot!

Racist violence still exists...Case in point..36-year-old Kevin Harpham allegedly dropped a backpack on a bench in downtown Spokane. The pack contained a sophisticated homemade bomb filled with shrapnel dipped in cyanide. It was set to explode just as hundreds of marchers would be going by. Thankfully, a sharp-eyed cleanup-crew member spotted the bomb just moments before the crowds reached the bench, and a bomb squad acted quickly to defuse it.

The attempted bombing was one of several threats targeted at civil and human rights activists in the past 12 months. These include dozens of threats received by NAACP staff and volunteers in the days after they called on the Tea Party to police racist rhetoric at its rallies. In one such incident, a caller threatened to make "the streets run red" with Black blood.

So...While a lot of things have changed in the 43 years since Dr. Martin Luther King has died...So much hasn't. We can't be scared.  We can't be intimidated.. It was a lot worse for our parents and grand-parents and yet they stood up and pressed on in spite of it. I'm talking about Blacks and Whites and Native Americans, Asians, Hispanics, Women, Gays...Everybody who ever took a stand and took to the streets..There was always the real chance that you were risking your life....and yet..they took stands, they took chances...In spite of it....

I'm thankful for them....I want to take chances....In spite of it!

Monday, April 4, 2011

What I've Learned

1. You might as well enjoy your life, it's the only one you've got.

2. You'll be dead a lot longer than you'll be alive...Another reason to heed number one.

3. Work Hard, Play Harder

4.Forgive Yourself...If you can't ,who else will?

5.I try to have a good gut busting laugh about something at least once a day!

6.Be Brave, But Not reckless...There is a big difference

7.Nobody gets out of life alive!

8.If You live long enough, your kids start giving you advice....It's funny!

9.There are blessings to be found  in what we initially think are set-backs!

10.We don't really retire from anything....Life retires us!

Sunday, April 3, 2011

The Cruelest April Fools Joke!

R.I.P. Marvin Pentz Gaye Jr.
April 2,1939 - April 1,1984

I had meant to write this earlier, but of course..I had other things scheduled...I turned on the radio just a few minutes and I heard "What's Going On?" ,Marvin Gaye's signature song...The radio station has been playing his music all day long..."Heard It Through the Grapevine" , "Let's Get it On" , "Got to Give it Up" (What is a summer block party or barbecue without that song?) and of course "Sexual Healing".

That last one is sad because I realize it was his last big hit. Just the year before he died..he had scored with this number one smash and had won two Grammies ,(surprisingly..his first and second in a career filled with hit records.) He had been on a pretty successful tour and had sung the National Anthem at the NBA All star game. It seemed at least for the time that he was back on top of the world.

Neither I, nor the rest of the world could know that he was once again in the grip of a cocaine addiction that would consume him and tax problems with the IRS that would suck the rest of the life and comfort out of him...His old demons and problems with his eccentric Father, Reverend Marvin Gay Sr. still raged on behind the scenes.

I'll never forget that Sunday...April 1, 1984....My little cousin was born that day and while getting the good news that I had a new relative...I also got the shocking news...right around lunchtime, eastern standard time that singer, Marvin Gaye had been shot to death in Los Angelas..I remember thinking that it was a April Fools joke...The cruelest April Fools joke I ever heard....but it wasn't...This time it was no joke...It was
true...A domestic quarrel between father and son...a fight ,a conflict that had been brewing for 44 years had finally come to it's violent and tragic conclusion....and in it's of the finest and creative soul singer's the world had ever known lay dead.....The day before he would have turned 45 years old!

I won't dwell on the tragic...I will celebrate what would have been his birthday (Actually, it was yesterday) and the life...the life that gave us all such great music!  Happy Birthday Marvin...Thanks for everything!

Saturday, April 2, 2011

Saturday Seven ( 7 things a grown man shouldn't have!)

1. A black eye. Unless the rim hits your face mid-dunk on the basketball court, your peepers should remain unblemished. If you're over 23, You should be smart enough to talk your way out of any fight you could possibly lose.

2.An empty refrigerator. Your Frig should be amply stocked,and your pantry provisioned. Always aim to be ready to create an on-the-fly, three-course dinner for your girl...along with breakfast in bed. Wink-Wink.

3.Less than $20 in his wallet. A real grown assed man should always carry a wallet containing enough dough to pick up coffee, bagels, and the Sunday paper without whipping out the credit or debit cards.

4.A Nerf hoop in his living room.Really? How old are you, eighteen? Keep the adolescent accoutrements where they belong: in the rec room or above the wastebasket in someone else's office.

5.A Futon. Sure, beds are for sleeping. But such a meager, slouchy spread has never, in the history of sex, inspired a woman to say, "Let's get it in on your futon" -Plus...That's so 80's.

6.PlayStation thumb. When they're relaxing,some so called grown men can behave like children. But if you devolve long enough to cause calluses or button-shaped bruises on your hands, then you're assuredly missing out on a life.

7.A recent story with the phrase "And then I said to the cop…" No explanation should be needed for that last one.


"Mommy, can I go to Timmy's blog and play?"

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