Saturday, July 29, 2017

SATURDAY 7-(Seven conversations that make married people cringe)

1."How's married life?" The same. It is the exact same. But now there's joint checking. 

2."When are you guys having kids?" Insert major eye roll here, please. Not only should you not ask this, but you definitely shouldn't ask it at, oh, the rehearsal dinner. Or the wedding. Or even six months after the wedding. How about you let me enjoy the fact that I think I found my girl and not worry about introducing the world to the next generation of whatever her name is.

3."Why are you two waiting so long to have kids?" For all you know, we're not interested in having children. Or maybe we're looking into adoption, which can be a long, drawn-out process. Or maybe we are trying, and you're rubbing my face in the fact that we're having difficulties. Thanks.How bout,it's none of your business.

4. "We should be expecting the next one soon, right?" We decided to have a child, and you're already curious about the next one. Can my girl (and her uterus) catch a break?Damn...You go and have some kids.....

5."Your kids are so close in age! Was one a surprise?" I know it's been awhile since I took sex ed, but last time I checked you could get pregnant any time you had sex. Since I was aware that me and my wife had sex, no,

6. "What meal does your wife love to cook for you?" Sadly for me, that whole "as soon as a ring goes on her left finger she was bestowed with magical cooking powers" idea was a farce. (I'm still pretty pissed about it, too.) So just like before we got hitched, I does the cooking. (I'm lying, she does alright...)Or we order out. Satisfied??

7."When did you last see your single friends?" Well, as soon as I got married I categorized them into single, married, and divorced. So let me check my calendar and see....oh, wait,Nobody does that!

Enjoy Your Weekend!

Friday, July 28, 2017

Weekend Humor

A young secretary, gets twelve muli-colored roses delivered to her desk. Noticing this, another older female co-worker says " Aren’t those beautiful ! Your boyfriend is SO sweet to send those to you."

The younger gal groans her reply "Yeah, but you know what this means?" "It means I’ll be spending the next 3 DAYS on my back, with my ankles in the air."

Puzzled by her comment, her co-worker pats her on the back & answers " It’ll be ok dearie......all you have to do is purchase a vase ?"

Everybody have a sexilicious weekend!

Thursday, July 27, 2017

Wednesday, July 26, 2017

Tuesday, July 25, 2017

Has Trump Kept his Promises? (Let's Look at the facts)

A number of die hard Trump supporters claim he has kept his campaign promises to them...HAS HE?  Well let's look at some facts...I know...a foreign word to some of them...Most of them...

Fact-He told you he’d repeal Obamacare and replace it with something “beautiful.” You bought it. But he didn’t repeal and he didn’t replace. (Just as well: His plan would have knocked at least 22 million off health insurance, including many of you bozos.)

Fact- He told you he’d cut your taxes. You bought it. But tax “reform” is stalled. And if it ever moves, the only ones whose taxes will be cut are the wealthy.

Fact- He told you he’d invest $1 billion in our nation’ crumbling infrastructure. You bought it. But his infrastructure plan, which was really a giveaway to rich investors, is also stalled.

Okay, here is another fact- He said he’d clean the Washington swamp. You bought it. But he’s brought into his administration more billionaires, CEOs, and Wall Street moguls than in any administration in history, to make laws that will enrich their businesses, along with former lobbyists, lawyers and consultants who are crafting new policies for the same industries they recently worked for.He called Hillary Clinton the candidate of Goldman -Sachs...He has hired so many former Goldman-Sachs people that the only people from that company that didn't get a job in the Trump administration was Mr. Goldman and Mr. Sachs.

Fact- He said he’d use his business experience to whip the White House into shape. You bought it. But he created the most chaotic, dysfunctional, back-stabbing White House in modern history, in which no one is in charge and no one trusts anyone!

Fact-He said he’d close “special interest loopholes that have been so good for Wall Street investors but unfair to American workers.“ You bought it. But he picked a Wall Street financier Stephen Schwarzman to run his strategic and policy forum, who compares closing those loopholes to Hitler’s invasion of Poland.

Not enough?  Here is another fact- He told you he’d “bring down drug prices” by making deals with drug companies. You bought it. But now the White House says that promise is “inoperative.”

Fact- He said that on Day One he’d label China a “currency manipulator.” You bought it. But then he met with China’s president and declared “China is not a currency manipulator.

Oh and check this out- He said he wouldn’t bomb Syria. You bought it. But then he bombed Syria.

And this is the kicker- He called Barack Obama “the vacationer-in-Chief” and accused him of playing more rounds of golf than Tiger Woods. He promised to never be the kind of president who took cushy vacations on the taxpayer’s dime, not when there was so much important work to be done. You bought it. But in his first 6 months he has spent more taxpayer money on vacations than Obama did in the first 3 years of his presidency. Not to mention all the money taxpayers are spending protecting his family, including his two sons who travel all over the world on Trump business.

If you still haven't heard enough then check out these facts...He said he’d force companies to keep jobs in America. You believed him. But despite their promises, Carrier, Ford, GM, and the rest are shipping jobs to Mexico and China...Oh and He said he’d create coal jobs. You believe him. He hasn’t. But here’s what he has done: Since 1965 a federal program called the Appalachian Regional Commission has spent $23 billion helping communities in coal states fund job retraining, reclaim land, and provide desperately needed social services. A.R.C. helped cut poverty rates almost in half, double the percentage of high-school graduates, and reduce infant mortality by two-thirds. Trump’s first proposed budget eliminates A.R.C.

So now...I know a lot of you all probably didn't understand all of that....but it's not fake news...It's all true...Some of it hits you where you live...Did you notice I didn't mention anything about Russia?  No I talked about the promises he made to you.....

Still think this man can make America great?

Monday, July 24, 2017

Friday, July 21, 2017


A man named Bill woke up on his birthday. His wife and kids didn't even say good morning to him. So, he left for work in a huff. His receptionist, Joanna, said happy birthday. "Thanks, Joanna. That's the nicest thing anyone's said to me all day." Bill replied, pleased. So he worked until his lunch break, when Joanna asked if he fancied a lunch. Instead of taking their usual lunch just outside, they went to a big beautiful bistro. 

"My apartment is just around the corner. Would you like to visit?" Joanna asked. "Sure, why not?" Bill replied.

At her apartment, Bill sat down on the couch. Joanna said she'd be right back and stepped into the bedroom. Minutes later, she came back out followed by Bills family, friends, and co-workers.  

Bill just sat there... naked.


Wednesday, July 19, 2017

Two Shootings In Minneapolis

This is Philandro Castille...He was stopped and shot to death by a police officer ,despite the fact that he complied when asked if he was carrying a firearm.. A firearm that was legally registered to him in the State of Minnesota, an open carry state..

He had no criminal record....He had a job as a cook at a local school and his students and co-workers loved him...

The newspapers played up the fact that he and his girlfriend had been smoking pot in the car at sometime before they were stopped..

The Officers name and a photo of him wasn't supplied or made known until days after the shooting..

The Officer was acquitted of any wrong doing and allowed to resign from his job.

This is Justine Damond...She's White and from Austrailia...She was shot and killed by a police officer recently...She too was unarmed and it appeared she was shot for no good reason...Just like Phillandro Castille up top...

Two shootings in Minneapolis both handled very differently.

In her case...The officer's (who is African -American and apparently a Muslim)  name is immediately released.
A Press conference quickly held calling for answers. Description of victim is one which invokes sympathy.

 Photos of the cop and his personnel file are made available to the media.

There is an outcry for justice - even from conservative media outlets. Motives of the 'Muslim officer' is called into question.

For a round trip trip to the tropical island of Obviously pick the victim...


Tuesday, July 18, 2017

IF I Were To Remain Silent


Monday, July 17, 2017

Friday, July 14, 2017

Weekend Humor


Thursday, July 13, 2017

Heads In The Sand

Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm!   Stay Woke!

Wednesday, July 12, 2017

Keith's Favorite Quotations



Tuesday, July 11, 2017

Friday, July 7, 2017

Weekend Humor

Two midgets go into a bar, where they pick up two prostitutes and take them to their separate hotel rooms. The first midget, however, is unable to get an erection. His depression is enhanced by the fact that, from the next room, he hears cries of, "ONE, TWO, THREE...UUH!" all night long.

In the morning, the second midget asks the first, "How did it go?" The first whispered back, "It was so embarrassing. I simply couldn't get a hard-on."

The second midget shook his head. "You think that's embarrassing?" he asked. "I couldn't even get on the damn bed"

Everybody have a groovalicious, sexalicious weekend!

Thursday, July 6, 2017

Wednesday, July 5, 2017

What I've Learned

1. People Basically Believe That which agrees with their cultural upbringing.

2. The Hardest thing to do is get someone to accept a new idea that doesn't line up with what they've been taught all of their lives.

3.I don't have many vices anymore.

4. Getting older teaches you to eliminate your vices and cut down on your debauchery.

5.Sooner or later the debauchery and vice of your youth catches up with you.

6.People will never fail to surprise you!

7.Morning Hours are usually the best for me!

8.I'm comfortable around women...They inspire a curiosity in me that is just contagious.

9.I'm Happiest when I'm occupied with something.

10.I retired from the U.S. Air Force at the age of 48....But there isn't a day I don't miss the roar of a plane on the tarmac or the comraderie and the excitement of deploying somewhere...


Tuesday, July 4, 2017

HAPPY 4th Of July

HAPPY 4th of JULY!


"Mommy, can I go to Timmy's blog and play?"

Click on image to enlarge for reading

Click on image to enlarge for reading

Click on image to enlarge for reading