Weekend Humor

A man goes to a restaurant where he sees a sign on the wall that says: 

"If we can't fill your order, we'll give you $500."

So when the waitress comes to his table he orders, "I'll have rye toast with elephant dung."

...

The waitress writes down his order and calmly walks to the kitchen.

About ten minutes later the manager storms out of the kitchen and lays out $500 on the man's table.

Angry, the manager says, "Are you happy? This is the first time in ten years we haven't had rye bread!"


EVERYBODY HAVE A GREAT WEEKEND!

Investigation Scoreboard

Wellllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll !!!!!

The Real Reason GM Is Closing Plants

Health Care Is...

Weekend Humor

I was barely sitting down when I heard a voice from the other stall saying: "Hi, how are you?"
I'm not the type to start a conversation in the men's restroom at a rest stop but, I don't know what got into me. I answered, somewhat embarrassedly: "Doin just fine!"

And the other guy says: "So, what are you up to?"

What kind of question is that? At that point, I'm thinking that this is way too bizarre so I say, "Uhhh I'm like you, just traveling east!"

At this point I am just trying to get out as fast as I can when I hear another question.

"Can I come over to your place after while?"

Ok, this question is just wacky, but I figured I could just be polite and end the conversation.
I tell him, "Well, I have company over, so today is a bad day for me!"

Then I hear the guy say nervously... "LISTEN!!! I'll have to call you back, there's an idiot in the other stall who keeps answering all my questions, bye!"

EVERYBODY HAVE A GREAT WEEKEND!

Thanksgiving Lesson

HAPPY THANKSGIVING!  (For those who won't be at the table this year!)

So This Is Putting America First,Right?

Note To Idiots

Thank You ,Parkland Survivors

What I've Learned

1. All Good Things Come In Time to those who go and get them!

2. Each New Day is a Chance to become a happier version of your self.

3.You Don't Sell Success...You Embody it!

4.I always liked people with simple, plain faces...every photo I see of me seems like I have so much going on with my face...

5. Ask Questions...Maybe, it'll lead to something!

6.People say that there is not a difference between love and sex...People that say that are usually women!

7.I learned more about love after a relationship was over than I did while it was going on!

8.Look back on what happened in a two-year period, you always think nothing has changed. But when you look at ten years, Everything's changed.

9.I Never Give Up, Something About me just can not accept defeat!

10..You're never beaten as long as you're still fighting. 

PEACE!

Weekend Humor

Iwent to the US Patent Office yesterday trying to register some of my inventions. I went to the main desk to sign in and the lady at the desk had a form that had to be filled out. She wrote down my personal info and then asked me what I had invented.

I said, "A folding bottle." She said, "Okay, what do you call it?"

"A Fottle", I replied.

"What else do you have?" " A folding carton."I said.

"And what do you call it?"she asked.

"A Farton." I replied.

She snickered and said, "Those are silly names for products and one of them sounds kind of crude." 

I was so upset by her comment that I grabbed the form and left the office without telling her about my folding bucket.

Everybody have a great weekend!

Never Ending Hyprocrisy!