Weekend Humor

A man and a woman were having drinks when they got into an argument about who enjoyed sex more.

The man said, "Men obviously enjoy sex more than women. Why do you think we're so obsessed with getting laid?"

"That doesn't prove anything," the woman countered. "Think about this: when your ear itches and you stick your little finger in it, wiggle it around, and then pull it out, which feels better—your ear or your finger?”



WELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL!   Everybody have a sexilicious weekend!

While Puerto Rico Drowns!

This is Puerto Rico right now!  No Electricity, No Clean drinking water...Badly in need of Aid....And while this goes on.....Our President is still busy picking fights with Football and Basketball Players!
Someone had to explain to him yesterday that Puerto Rico and the Virgin Islands are Territories of the United States....

The things this guy doesn't know just amazes me!

Just shaking my head.....

Why We Kneel

BLACK LIVES MATTER!     STAY WOKE!

Blows Up In Your Face!

BREAKING NEWS!: Trumpcare is officially DEAD. Obamacare lives on. Republican leaders have abandoned their plan to repeal it. Congratulations and THANK YOU to all who fought to #ProtectOurCare!

According to YOUR President...

Don't Be Fooled

Weekend Humor

A little boy was in a relative's wedding. As he was coming down the aisle he would take two steps, stop, and turn to the crowd (alternating between bride's side and groom's side).

While facing the crowd, he would put his hands up like claws and roar. So it went, step, step, ROAR, step, step, ROAR all the way down the aisle.

As you can imagine, the crowd was near tears from laughing so hard by the time he reached the pulpit. The little boy, however, was getting more and more distressed from all the laughing, and was also near tears by the time he reached the pulpit.

When asked what he was doing, the child sniffed and said, "I was being the Ring Bear."

EVERYBODY HAVE A GREAT WEEKEND!

Does Make You Wonder

IT DOES MAKE YOU THINK DOESN'T IT?

This Photo Says So Much

At President Trump's United Nations Speech Yesterday!

Since 1978

He's Good At Business?

SEEMS TO ME LIKE HE'S GIVING US THE BUSINESS!

Weekend Humor

EVERYBODY HAVE A SEXILICIOUS WEEKEND!

Sounds Like Something I Would Have Said

Even Stevie Wonder Can See This

Good Question

Clear Evidence

Weekend Humor

When the usher noticed a man stretched across three seats in the movie theater, he walked over and whispered "Sorry sir, but you are allowed only one seat."

The man moaned but didn't budge. "Sir," the usher said more loudly, "If you don't move, I'll have to call the manager."

The man moaned again but stayed where he was.

The usher left and returned with the manager, who, after several attempts at dislodging the fellow, called the police.

The cop looked at the reclining man and said, "All right, what's your name, joker?"

"It's Joe, Officer", he mumbled.


"And where are you from, Joe?" asked the officer..

Joe responds painfully, "The balcony!"


HAVE A PAIN FREE WEEKEND EVERYBODY!

So Let Me Get This Straight!

President Obama Speaks Out on DACA Decision

Former President, Mr. Barack Obama released this statement  yesterday , regarding DACA and Dreamers. Now this THIS is how a President addresses an issue . Take notes, Mr. Trump!✌


"Immigration can be a controversial topic. We all want safe, secure borders and a dynamic economy, and people of goodwill can have legitimate disagreements about how to fix our immigration system so that everybody plays by the rules."

"But that’s not what the action that the White House took today is about. This is about young people who grew up in America – kids who study in our schools, young adults who are starting careers, patriots who pledge allegiance to our flag. These Dreamers are Americans in their hearts, in their minds, in every single way but one: on paper. They were brought to this country by their parents, sometimes even as infants. They may not know a country besides ours. They may not even know a language besides English. They often have no idea they’re undocumented until they apply for a job, or college, or a driver’s license."

"Over the years, politicians of both parties have worked together to write legislation that would have told these young people – our young people – that if your parents brought you here as a child, if you’ve been here a certain number of years, and if you’re willing to go to college or serve in our military, then you’ll get a chance to stay and earn your citizenship. And for years while I was President, I asked Congress to send me such a bill. That bill never came. And because it made no sense to expel talented, driven, patriotic young people from the only country they know solely because of the actions of their parents, my administration acted to lift the shadow of deportation from these young people, so that they could continue to contribute to our communities and our country."

 "We did so based on the well-established legal principle of prosecutorial discretion, deployed by Democratic and Republican presidents alike, because our immigration enforcement agencies have limited resources, and it makes sense to focus those resources on those who come illegally to this country to do us harm. Deportations of criminals went up. Some 800,000 young people stepped forward, met rigorous requirements, and went through background checks. And America grew stronger as a result."

"But today, that shadow has been cast over some of our best and brightest young people once again. To target these young people is wrong – because they have done nothing wrong. It is self-defeating – because they want to start new businesses, staff our labs, serve in our military, and otherwise contribute to the country we love. And it is cruel. What if our kid’s science teacher, or our friendly neighbor turns out to be a Dreamer? Where are we supposed to send her? To a country she doesn’t know or remember, with a language she may not even speak?"

"Let’s be clear: the action taken today isn’t required legally. It’s a political decision, and a moral question. Whatever concerns or complaints Americans may have about immigration in general, we shouldn’t threaten the future of this group of young people who are here through no fault of their own, who pose no threat, who are not taking away anything from the rest of us. "

"They are that pitcher on our kid’s softball team, that first responder who helps out his community after a disaster, that cadet in ROTC who wants nothing more than to wear the uniform of the country that gave him a chance. Kicking them out won’t lower the unemployment rate, or lighten anyone’s taxes, or raise anybody’s wages."

"It is precisely because this action is contrary to our spirit, and to common sense, that business leaders, faith leaders, economists, and Americans of all political stripes called on the administration not to do what it did today. And now that the White House has shifted its responsibility for these young people to Congress, it’s up to Members of Congress to protect these young people and our future. I’m heartened by those who’ve suggested that they should. And I join my voice with the majority of Americans who hope they step up and do it with a sense of moral urgency that matches the urgency these young people feel."

"Ultimately, this is about basic decency. This is about whether we are a people who kick hopeful young strivers out of America, or whether we treat them the way we’d want our own kids to be treated. It’s about who we are as a people – and who we want to be."

"What makes us American is not a question of what we look like, or where our names come from, or the way we pray. What makes us American is our fidelity to a set of ideals – that all of us are created equal; that all of us deserve the chance to make of our lives what we will; that all of us share an obligation to stand up, speak out, and secure our most cherished values for the next generation. That’s how America has traveled this far. That’s how, if we keep at it, we will ultimately reach that more perfect union”

 Take notes, Mr. Trump!

What I've Learned

1. Everybody does Not have a right to their opinion, if they don't know what the hell they're talking about.

2.I don't have an enormus amount of friends...I just know a lot of people.

3.Some of the nastiest and most intolerant people sit in a pew on Sunday's. That may sting but it doesn't make it less true. 

4. Enabling ignorance makes one complicit in the spreading of it. 

5.My friend Jimmy says and I've found this to be true.. "There's no such thing as a mid life crisis. After years and years of tolerating people you don't care for, being politically correct, doing things you don't want to do in order to get along, holding your opinion it comes to a crashing halt."

6.Compatibility is hugely overrated.

7.I really want to live a very long time...but wanting and doing so are two different things!

8. If I had known I'd be around this long...I'd of taken better care of myself! 

9.Happiness is a nice good cup of coffee on your front steps in the morning.

10. Takes you many years to appreciate number #9.


PEACE!

Happy Labor Day

Rest In Peace- Walter Becker

In Loving Memory of One half of Steely Dan... Rest in Peace, Walter Becker (1950-2017)

Weekend Humor

In class one day, Mr. Johnson pulled Little Johnny over to his desk after a test, and said,

"Little Johnny I have a feeling that you have been cheating on your tests."

Johnny was astounded and asked Mr. Johnson to prove it.

 "Well, said Mr. Johnson, I was looking over your test and the question was, 'Who was our first president?', and the little girl that sits next to you, Mary, put 'George Washington,' and so did you."

"Awww come in, everyone knows that he was the first president." said Little Johnny.

"Well, just wait a minute," said Mr. Johnson. "The next question was, 'Who freed the slaves?' Mary put Abraham Lincoln and so did you."

"Well, I read the history book last night and I remembered that," said Little Johnny.

"Wait, wait," said Mr. Johnson. The next question was, 'Who was president during the Louisiana Purchase?' Mary put 'I don't know,' and you put, 'Me neither'."


Everybody Have a Great Weekend!