Circle Of Life

A lot has been going on with me lately. I have been putting off writing this post but, I finally decided to go on and do it. I wrote a post about two weeks ago in which I spoke of going to my Air Force unit's reunion and having a rather humorous encounter with a drunken racist at a roadhouse on my way there. I spoke of how even temperedly I handled the situation so that it did not get out of hand and how I went to the reunion and was reacquainted with several people I had known throughout my 22-year military career.

What I left out was that, while on route to that same reunion, I got a rather disturbing phone call from a friend of mine. It seemed that another friend of mine had suffered a massive heart attack the day before and was in the hospital in critical condition. I was stunned because I had been out with this guy just two nights before and had even run into him and his girlfriend the day before that and he seemed just fine. I was just blown away by this news and with everything else that was going on, I couldn't bring myself to write about it.

Any of you who have a huge network of friends knows how news can get passed around and how a story can morph from one thing to another very quickly. It's bad enough when news is being transmitted by word of mouth but, email and texting haven't made it any better. I got a story that my friend was in an induced coma, his liver had failed, and he had to be resuscitated ten times to keep him alive. Then, I got a story that he had come out of his coma and was awake talking to people. None of these stories turned out to be true.

By Thursday, I decided to find out the truth for myself by visiting the hospital. I knew he was in intensive care but, I took a gamble that, since I knew so many of his people, I might get a chance to visit him. While I was en route to the hospital to see him, my daughter called and informed me that "she thought her water broke and she was on her way to the hospital to have my second grandchild.

At this point, my mind was traveling in one million directions. I entered the hospital, asked for my friend by name, and was told to go to intensive care. I wasn't prepared for what I was about to see. He had all kinds of tubes in him and he was breathing heavy. He was on life support. A doctor was explaining to his girlfriend, closest relatives, and comrades that, if he was removed from life support, he could die right away or he might breathe on his own but, the person we knew and loved was gone because there was no brain activity.

To say I was shocked would be putting it mildly. His closest friend explained to me that he had a bad heart for a couple of years and he kept it a secret. Further, he rarely took his medicine or made any attempt to slow down his lifestyle (you had to know this guy... he truly partied like a rock star). So, he had suffered a massive heart attack and was now brain dead. I had never known about his heart and neither did anyone else, including his girlfriend.

Well, they took him off of life support and miraculously he didn't die right away. He gasped for air for a few minutes and then, he turned his head toward the ceiling and just stopped moving. For a minute, he just looked very serene and peaceful. The doctor came in, touched his chest, and then said to all of us... "He's gone." I have never seen anything like that in my life.

Of course, the room filled with howling and crying and I stood there, numb and stunned. A man had just died right in front of me... I didn't figure on that! I left the hospital, got in my car, and called my wife. I told her what had happened and I asked about our daughter but, she hadn't heard anything yet.

The next morning at 4:26am, as you now know from my previous post, my second grandchild was born. Unlike my first grandchild, I was not present for the birth yet, I was overjoyed just the same. In a period of 12 hours, I had witnessed a death and celebrated the birth of my grand-daughter. As you can imagine, I was in an emotional freefall.

Saturday, I attended my friend's homegoing service. This funeral was a virtual who's who of people we've known for years. There was so many people there that we had to go in shifts to view the body. I know that he would've loved that.

Yesterday, I celebrated Mother's Day with my two favorite mommies... my wife and my daughter (and grandchildren) and thus, the circle of death and life came to fruition. I've purged myself for the time being. Now, I can go on. I still have some living to do myself. Peace!