Saturday, July 29, 2017

SATURDAY 7-(Seven conversations that make married people cringe)



1."How's married life?" The same. It is the exact same. But now there's joint checking. 

2."When are you guys having kids?" Insert major eye roll here, please. Not only should you not ask this, but you definitely shouldn't ask it at, oh, the rehearsal dinner. Or the wedding. Or even six months after the wedding. How about you let me enjoy the fact that I think I found my girl and not worry about introducing the world to the next generation of whatever her name is.

3."Why are you two waiting so long to have kids?" For all you know, we're not interested in having children. Or maybe we're looking into adoption, which can be a long, drawn-out process. Or maybe we are trying, and you're rubbing my face in the fact that we're having difficulties. Thanks.How bout,it's none of your business.

4. "We should be expecting the next one soon, right?" We decided to have a child, and you're already curious about the next one. Can my girl (and her uterus) catch a break?Damn...You go and have some kids.....

5."Your kids are so close in age! Was one a surprise?" I know it's been awhile since I took sex ed, but last time I checked you could get pregnant any time you had sex. Since I was aware that me and my wife had sex, no,

6. "What meal does your wife love to cook for you?" Sadly for me, that whole "as soon as a ring goes on her left finger she was bestowed with magical cooking powers" idea was a farce. (I'm still pretty pissed about it, too.) So just like before we got hitched, I does the cooking. (I'm lying, she does alright...)Or we order out. Satisfied??

7."When did you last see your single friends?" Well, as soon as I got married I categorized them into single, married, and divorced. So let me check my calendar and see....oh, wait,Nobody does that!


Enjoy Your Weekend!

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