Friday, March 31, 2017

Weekend Humor



A wife was making a breakfast of fried eggs for her husband.
Suddenly her husband burst into the kitchen.
...
"Careful. CAREFUL! Put in some more butter! Oh my goodness!

"You're cooking too many at once. TOO MANY! Turn them! TURN THEM NOW! We need more butter. Oh my!"

"WHERE are we going to get MORE BUTTER? They're going to STICK!

"Careful ... CAREFUL! I said be CAREFUL! You NEVER listen to
me when you're cooking! Never! Turn them! Hurry up! Are you CRAZY?"


"Have you LOST your mind? Don't forget to salt them. You know you always forget to salt them. Use the salt. USE THE SALT! THE SALT!"

The wife stared at him. "What's wrong with you? You think I don't know how to fry a couple of eggs?"

The husband calmly replied, "I wanted to show you what it feels like when I'm driving."

Have A Great Weekend Everybody!

Thursday, March 30, 2017

Wednesday, March 29, 2017

Tuesday, March 28, 2017

So Much Winning Huh?

"We are going to Win So Much , We are going to get tired of Winning!" - Donald Trump

Monday, March 27, 2017

Saturday, March 25, 2017

Weekend Humor

A man walks into the front door of a bar. He is obviously drunk, and staggers up to the bar, seats himself on a stool and, with a belch, asks the bartender for a drink.

The bartender politely informs the man that it appears that he has already had plenty to drink, he could not be served additional liquor at this bar, and could a cab be called for him?
...
The drunk is briefly surprised, then softly scoffs, grumbles, climbs down off the bar stool and staggers out the front door.

A few minutes later, the same drunk stumbles in the SIDE door of the bar. He wobbles up to the bar and hollers for a drink.

The bartender comes over and, still politely - but more firmly, refuses service to the man due to his inebriation, and again offers to call a cab.

The drunk looks at the bartender for a moment angrily, curses, and shows himself out the side door, all the while grumbling and shaking his head.

A few minutes later, the same drunk bursts in through the back door of the bar. He plops himself up on a bar stool, gathers his wits and belligerently orders a drink.

The bartender comes over and emphatically reminds the man that he is clearly drunk, will be served no drinks, and either a cab or the police will be called immediately.

The surprised drunk looks at the bartender, and in hopeless anguish, cries " DAMN Man! How many bars do you work at?"

EVERYBODY HAVE A GREAT WEEKEND!

Friday, March 24, 2017

Thursday, March 23, 2017

Wednesday, March 22, 2017

Tuesday, March 21, 2017

Friday, March 17, 2017

Weekend Humor

A fellow finds himself in front of the Pearly Gates.

 St. Peter explains that its not so easy to get in heaven. There are some criteria before entry is allowed.

For example, was the man religious in life? Did He attend church regularly? He did not,

St. Peter told him that's bad.

Was he generous? Did he give money to the poor? Charities? He did not?

St. Peter told him that that too was bad.

Did he do any good deeds? Help his neighbor? Anything? He did not?

St. Peter was becoming concerned.

Exasperated, St. Peter says, "Look, everybody does something nice sometime. Work with me, I'm trying to help. Now think!"

The man says, "There was this old lady. I came out of a store and found her surrounded by a dozen Hell's Angels. They had taken her purse and were shoving her around, taunting and abusing her.
I got so mad I threw my bags down, fought through the crowd, and got her purse back. I then helped her to her feet. I then went up to the biggest, baddest biker and told him how despicable, cowardly and mean he was and then spat in his face".


"Wow", said Peter, "That's impressive. When did this happen"?

"Oh, about 10 minutes ago", replied the man.


EVERYBBODY HAVE A WONDERFUL WEEKEND!

 

Thursday, March 16, 2017

Wednesday, March 15, 2017

Tuesday, March 14, 2017

A Case of Gerrymandering


It's been said for a few years now..That the Republican part has been using Re-districting and Gerrymandering based on race to dilute the power of the growing Minority voter base.. In Texas recently a very blatant case of this was discovered.

Federal judges found more problems in Texas' voting rights laws, ruling that Republicans racially gerrymandered some congressional districts to weaken the growing electoral power of minorities, who former President Barack Obama set out to protect at the ballot box before leaving office.

The ruling late Friday by a three-judge panel in San Antonio gave Democrats hope of new, more favorably drawn maps that could turn over more seats in Congress in 2018. But the judges in their 2-1 decision didn't propose an immediate fix, and Texas could appeal to the U.S. Supreme Court.
Republicans hold two of three congressional districts ruled newly invalid and were found to have been partly drawn with discriminatory intent.

The GOP-controlled Texas Legislature approved the maps in 2011, the same year then-Gov. Rick Perry signed a voter ID law that ranks among the toughest in the U.S. Courts have since weakened that law, too.

Judges noted the "strong racial tension and heated debate about Latinos, Spanish-speaking people, undocumented immigrants and sanctuary cities" that served as the backdrop in the Legislature to Texas adopting the maps and the voter ID law. Those tensions are flaring again over President Donald Trump's executive orders on immigration, and Republican Texas Gov. Greg Abbott is also demanding tough crackdowns on so-called sanctuary cities.

"The record indicates not just a hostility toward Democrat districts, but a hostility to minority districts, and a willingness to use race for partisan advantage," U.S. District Judges Xavier Rodriguez and Orlando Garcia wrote in their opinion.

Republican Texas Attorney General Ken Paxton did not immediately remark on the ruling.
An attorney for the Mexican American Legal Defense and Educational Fund welcomed Friday's ruling.

"The court's decision exposes the Texas Legislature's illegal effort to dilute the vote of Texas Latinos," said Nina Perales, the group's vice president of litigation and lead counsel in the case. "Moving forward, the ruling will help protect Latinos from manipulation of district lines in order to reduce their political clout."

Hispanics were found to have fueled Texas' dramatic growth in the 2010 census, the year before the maps were drawn, accounting for two out of every three new residents in the state. The findings of racially motivated mapmaking satisfied Democrats and minority rights groups, who are now pushing a separate federal court in Texas to determine that the voter ID law was also crafted with discriminatory intent.

Texas was forced ahead of the November election to weaken its voter ID law, which allows concealed handgun licenses but not college student IDs, after a federal appeals court found that the requirements particularly hampered minorities and the poor.

The Obama administration had brought the muscle of the U.S. Justice Department into Texas to help challenge both the maps and voter ID law. But barely a month after Trump took office, the federal government reversed course and announced it would no longer argue that Texas purposefully discriminated against minorities with its voter ID law.

It was not yet clear whether the Trump administration will also drop opposition to Texas' maps. But U.S. Circuit Judge Jerry Smith, in a blistering dissent, had strong words for Obama administration attorneys after they joined the case.

"It was obvious, from the start, that the DOJ attorneys viewed state officials and the legislative majority and their staffs as a bunch of backwoods hayseed bigots who bemoan the abolition of the poll tax and pine for the days of literacy tests and lynchings," Smith wrote. "And the DOJ lawyers saw themselves as an expeditionary landing party arriving here, just in time, to rescue the state from oppression, obviously presuming that plaintiffs' counsel were not up to the task."

But it's obvious to me that these guys are exactly that....A Bunch of bigots...with college degrees who bemoan the abolition of the poll tax and pine for the days of literacy tests and lynchings..Which makes them worse!

The stakes in finding discriminatory intent are higher because it provides a window for opponents to argue that Texas should be forced to resume having changes to voting laws "pre-cleared" by the Justice Department or a federal court. A 2013 U.S. Supreme Court ruling did away with preclearance by striking down a key provision in the federal Voting Rights Act.

The congressional districts voided by the panel belong to Democrat Lloyd Doggett and Republicans Will Hurd and Blake Farenthold. Hurd's district, which runs from San Antonio to El Paso, has been a rare competitive swing district in Texas in recent years.

Keep your eyes on Texas.....

Monday, March 13, 2017

Saturday, March 11, 2017

And You Bought it

One of my Facebook Friends posted this a day ago... I thought I'd share-


For Trump supporters and Non-Voters:
1. He called Hillary Clinton a crook.
You bought it.

 Then he paid $25 million to settle a fraud lawsuit.
...
2. He said he’d release his tax returns, eventually.
You bought it.

 He hasn’t, and says he never will.
3. He said he’d divest himself from his financial empire, to avoid any conflicts of interest.
You bought it.

 He is still heavily involved in his businesses, manipulates the stock market on a daily basis, and has more conflicts of interest than can even be counted.
4. He said Clinton was in the pockets of Goldman Sachs, and would do whatever they said.
You bought it.

 He then proceeded to put half a dozen Goldman Sachs executives in positions of power in his administration.
5. He said he’d surround himself with all the best and smartest people.
You bought it.

 He nominated theocratic loon Mike Pence for Vice President. A white supremacist named Steve Bannon is his most trusted confidant. Dr. Ben Carson, the world’s greatest idiot savant brain surgeon, is in charge of HUD. Russian quisling Rex Tillerson is Secretary of State.
6. He said he’d be his own man, beholden to no one.
You bought it.

 He then appointed Betsy DeVos as Secretary of Education, whose only “qualifications” were the massive amounts of cash she donated to his campaign.
7. He said he would “drain the swamp” of Washington insiders.
You bought it.

 He then admitted that was just a corny slogan he said to fire up the rubes during the rallies, and that he didn’t mean it.
8. He said he knew more about strategy and terrorism than the Generals did.
You bought it.

 He promptly gave the green light to a disastrous raid in Yemen- even though all his Generals said it would be a terrible idea. This raid resulted in the deaths of a Navy SEAL, an 8-year old American girl, and numerous civilians. The actual target of the raid escaped, he lost and destroyed a multi billion dollar helicopter, and no useful intel was gained.
9. He said Hillary Clinton couldn’t be counted on in times of crisis.
You bought it.

 He didn’t even bother overseeing that raid in Yemen; and instead spent the time hate-tweeting the New York Times, and sleeping.
10. He called CNN, the Washington Post and the New York Times “fake news” and said they were his enemy.
You bought it.

 He now gets all his information from Breitbart, Gateway Pundit, InfoWars, and creates his own fake news everyday.
11. He called Barack Obama “the vacationer-in-Chief” and accused him of playing more rounds of golf than Tiger Woods. He promised to never be the kind of president who took cushy vacations on the taxpayer’s dime, not when there was so much important work to be done.
You bought it.

 He took his first vacation after 11 days in office and every weekend after that, and has gone golfing every weekend as well.
All on the taxpayer’s dime.
And that’s just the first month.
by Robert Reich

AND YOU BOUGHT IT!

Friday, March 10, 2017

Weekend Humor

The Madam opened the brothel door to see a frail, elderly gentleman.
 
"Can I help you?" the madam asked.

"I want Natalie," the old man replied.

"Sir, Natalie is one of our most expensive ladies. Perhaps someone else..."
 
"No, I must see Natalie."

Just then Natalie appeared and announced to the old man that she charged $1,000 per visit. Without blinking, the man reached into his pocket and handed her ten $100 bills. The two went up to a room for six hours, whereupon the man calmly left afterwords, leaving Natalie satisfied and dazed....

"Oh My God...He didn't want to stop...Woooooooooooo." she replied.

The next night he appeared again demanding to see Natalie. Natalie explained that no one had ever come back two nights in a row and that there were no discounts...it was still $1,000 a visit. Again the old man took out the money, the two went up to the room and after Six or Seven hours , he left.

Again leaving Natalie satisfied and dazed...and out of breath...

"He's screwing my brains out...woooooooooooooooooou" she exclaimed, too exhausted to see anyone else..

When he showed up the third consecutive night, no one could believe it.

Again he handed Natalie the money and up to the room they went. At the end of  Six hours, Natalie questioned the old man, why they lie in bed in post coital bliss:


"Whoooooooooooooo....Oh My God!! You've been wearing me out this week...No one has ever used my services three nights in a row. Where are you from Big Daddy?"

The  man replied, "I'm from Philadelphia."

"Really?" replied Natalie. "I have family who lives there."

"Yes, I know," said the old man. "Your father died last week, and I'm your sister's attorney. She asked me to give this $3,000 to you."

(Some things in life are certain: taxes, death and being screwed by an attorney.)


EVERYBODY HAVE A SEXILICIOUS WEEKEND!

Thursday, March 9, 2017

Terms Of Impechment

Well, He's done it now! President Trump (God, I hate saying that) may have finally committed an impeachable offense...A clearly impeachable offense...

The question is-Will Donald Trump become America’s first President impeached for sending libelous tweets? (Probably not!)

Harvard Law professor and constitutional scholar Laurence Tribe says yes. Tribe argues that libelous Presidential tweets to millions of people – in this case, Trump’s accusation of an illegal wiretap by the Obama administration – are the definition an impeachable “political crime” of office, which Congress may use to file impeachment charge.

He’s also part of a group suing the President for violating our Constitution’s Emoluments clause.
Professor Tribe’s point is that Trump’s use of the Presidency, and by extension the Presidential Twitter account, isn’t just a personal matter. Accusing an ex-President libelous official criminal charge without a shred of evidence constitutes a political crime by the malicious accuser. A Federalist essay written by the founding father Alexander Hamilton backs him up.

Alexander Hamilton’s essay Federalist 65 which lays out the logical basis for both when a president should be impeached, and why the founders designated Legislative Houses to different tasks in the process.

Hamilton was in no way unclear that an improper act of political gain – like accusing your predecessor of a crime he didn’t commit and then begging Congress to investigate your own libelous statement – is the very definition of an impeachable “POLITICAL “offense. Here is an excerpt of Hamilton’s Federalist 65:


A well-constituted court for the trial of impeachments is an object not more to be desired than difficult to be obtained in a government wholly elective. The subjects of its jurisdiction are those offenses which proceed from the misconduct of public men, or, in other words, from the abuse or violation of some public trust.

They are of a nature which may with peculiar propriety be denominated POLITICAL, as they relate chiefly to injuries done immediately to the society itself.


Professor Tribe also tweeted about an interesting part of the Constitution’s 25th Amendment, which would allow Congress to sideline Donald Trump without a trial, by passing a law with a veto-proof majority to remove him from office. It’s never before been attempted, but the language has all of the force of the supreme law of the land.

Plainly, someone spoke with Laurence Tribe about the powerful statement he’s making that a President can be impeached merely for sending libelous tweets.

The Professor’s response amounts to ‘Live by the tweet, get impeached by the tweet.’'


So Will Donald Trump become America’s first President impeached for sending libelous tweets? (Probably not!, but it's fun to think about it!)

Wednesday, March 8, 2017

Prediction

Remember where you saw this first!

Tuesday, March 7, 2017

Monday, March 6, 2017

Friday, March 3, 2017

Thursday, March 2, 2017

What I've Learned


1. Delete Most of your Emails...The great majority of them aren't worth a reply.

2.Don't Sweat the small stuff...Really!

3.The Most extraordinary thing about creative writing is that you determine the beginning and the end of the stories you write and the in between....

4.Honesty is great....Humor is better!

5.People are basically the same everywhere you go - We all want an easy life with minimal effort. Some disguise themselves in religion, others in business.

6. I'm almost 59 years old...(I will be in a few weeks), I can't believe I've been around this long..

7.The best way to get things moving is to accept where you are in time. Ride the horse in the direction in which it's going.

8.It's very important to be adaptable....That's how you stay relevant.

9.When I was younger I was criticized for having a short attention span...Today, everybody has one.

10.Somehow or other Providence is going to somehow guide you in the direction you need to go. You have to find out what it is you want to do when you get there!

PEACE!

Wednesday, March 1, 2017

The Usual Nonsense


First Off, The speech last night was good....The best Speech Donald Trump has given in his short term as President...I was surprised that he could stay focused for an hour like that....but otherwise....It was the same old nonsense we have come to expect from him...

President Donald Trump gave a surprisingly conventional first speech to a joint session of Congress Tuesday night.

This is not an ordinarily high or even notable bar. But amid a first several weeks that have been marked by chaos, ineptitude and dark pugnaciousness, conventional can seem exceptional – and pundits immediately started praising this as his best performance. It may have been, but that is also not a high bar, considering all other things!

Republicans especially must be delighted at the appearance of a subdued rather than raving Donald Trump. This performance might even revive talk among pundits of all stripes of a long-hoped-for pivot to a more presidential mien. But make  no mistake, Donald Trump has patterns and his brief bouts with a sober tone are inevitably followed by an eruption of the Twitter-troll-in-chief. You can't hope to stop Donald Trump, merely to contain him.

In any case, the underlying delusion and deceit of Trumpism was still present even if it was not adorned with his more florid rhetorical flights: Absent were fake news, so-called judges, the media as enemy of the American people, "American carnage" and so on. He might have eschewed throwing bombs but what he did say was still a typical vision of another America, unrelated to the country in which we live and, in several cases, his own policies and utterances.

So Donald Trump's opening denunciation of threats against Jewish centers and vandalism of Jewish cemeteries was a bit rich coming from someone who had reportedly earlier in the day suggested that they might actually be some sort of false-flag operation.

His proclamation that "our allies will find that America is once again ready to lead" was startling coming from someone who ran on an a neo-isolationist, "America first" platform and wants to cut the State Department budget by 37 percent.

Mr.Trump apparently believes that American can lead from behind the wall he famously wants to build on our border and lead from afar a world from which he would have us disengage.
He once again reimagined the 2016 election as a grand endorsement for his leadership, hailing a political "earthquake." And while he's right that there was an earthquake it was not one of a popular uprising but instead one of a flawed system denying the will of the voters and installing a second place candidate in the presidency. The aftershocks of that earthquake have been seen in the protests that took place en masse in Washington and around the country in the wake of Trump's inauguration and the flare-ups of anger that Republican lawmakers have faced even in the most conservative states since.

But Donald Trump makes an art of reinterpreting reality, often sundering words and concepts from their meaning. So the man who refuses to release his tax returns or divest himself from his sprawling family business and has turned what his administration styles as the "winter White House" into an pay-for-play ATM machine lectured piously about starting to "to drain the swamp of government corruption." He's not draining the swamp; he's developing it and adding an expensive golf course.
On the budget he bemoaned the alleged fiscal irresponsibility of his predecessor but then spent much of his speech ticking of his own budget-busting list of goodies: corporations will get a “big, big [tax] cut,” while the middle class will also get a “massive” one (not as massive, it’s important to note, as what the wealthiest Americans would get); the Pentagon will get one of the “largest increases in national defense spending in American history,” including eliminating the defense sequester; he wants to build a border wall that could cost up to $25 billion (and no, Mexico is not going to pay for it) ... and plans to pay for it all with a combination of a magically revved up economy” and budget cuts which are so fantastically draconian that they’ve already been pronounced “dead on arrival” in Congress.

But budgeting is about priorities. And while he talked a good game Tuesday night about investing in women's health and promoting clean air and clean water, he wants to cut funding for Planned Parenthood and slash the Environmental Protection Agency's budget by nearly a quarter.

Indeed, Donald Trump might style himself as a fearless anti-politician shaking up the ways of Washington but in promising goodies for all while eliding whether and how he plans to pay for it he proved to be nothing if not a run-of-the-mill politician.

Of course Donald Trump took his usual tour of the dark, dystopian country which he would have us believe we inhabit: He complained about "lawless chaos," a country allowing "uncontrolled entry from places where proper vetting [of immigrants] cannot occur," one with a dead economic engine and soaring crime rates.

The truth is that illegal immigration is near zero, refugees from war-riven countries don't have unlimited access to the country and are carefully scrutinized, crime is close to half-century lows and the economy has had a record 76 straight months of job growth. "We must honestly acknowledge the circumstances we inherited," said Mr.Trump, who seems incapable of honestly acknowledging anything.

Perhaps the best example of Trumpian myth-making, delusion and deception came in his recitation of the case against the Affordable Care Act. As is par for the course on the right he could only pronounce it a disaster, utterly ignoring the 20 million people who have gained health coverage from the law and the 15 million or so who would lose it if the law was repealed. He promised to "expand choice, increase access, lower cost and at the same time provide better health care." Note "access," which is the GOP buzzword – they'll talk about expanding access while actual coverage declines, and then call it a victory. So if people are worried about keeping their health insurance, even if they have pre-existing conditions, once Obamacare is history, Donald Trump promised that a principle of his reform is that they will have "access" to coverage.

Access and actual coverage are different things – I have access to a private plane in the sense that I could buy one if I had the money. See what I mean?

Perhaps the most incredible moment in the health care section of the speech was when Donald Trump promised to lower – not curb or restrain but lower – the cost of health insurance. How? He trotted out the hoary chestnut about allowing insurance companies to sell nationally. No, that's not the magic elixir to lower costs, but even beyond that ask yourself: When was the last time health insurance costs went down? Ever? But Trump and the GOP – which is famously incapable of lining up behind an Obamacare replacement plan – are going to do it. Sure they are?

Internationally, Donald Trump mixed his usual fear-mongering with his also-characteristic reversals of sentiment. So he praised NATO after declaring it obsolete in January; he patted himself on the back for telling the Pentagon to come up with a plan to defeat the Islamic State group after campaigning on the risible notion that he knew more than the generals about the matter and had a secret plan to do so. We have yet to see this secret plan and if the raid on Yemen is an example...I'm good....I don't need to see anything else he has to drag out!

It was perhaps most illustrative that in his closing Mr. Trump listed a series of potential accomplishments that he sees as ambitious but achievable, including safe schools, a prosperous economy and "American footprints on distant worlds."

It's fitting that he seems to think that domestic prosperity is of a similar likelihood to Americans walking on distant planets.

Like I said...A technically good speech , but the usual nonsense from him we have come to expect.

WARNING





KEEPING THE FAITH: RANDOM PRAYERS "ON THE DOWNLOAD"
























































"Mommy, can I go to Timmy's blog and play?"



































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