Weekend Humor

A man goes to a restaurant where he sees a sign on the wall that says: 

"If we can't fill your order, we'll give you $500."

So when the waitress comes to his table he orders, "I'll have rye toast with elephant dung."

...

The waitress writes down his order and calmly walks to the kitchen.

About ten minutes later the manager storms out of the kitchen and lays out $500 on the man's table.

Angry, the manager says, "Are you happy? This is the first time in ten years we haven't had rye bread!"


EVERYBODY HAVE A GREAT WEEKEND!

Investigation Scoreboard

Wellllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll !!!!!

The Real Reason GM Is Closing Plants

Health Care Is...

Weekend Humor

I was barely sitting down when I heard a voice from the other stall saying: "Hi, how are you?"
I'm not the type to start a conversation in the men's restroom at a rest stop but, I don't know what got into me. I answered, somewhat embarrassedly: "Doin just fine!"

And the other guy says: "So, what are you up to?"

What kind of question is that? At that point, I'm thinking that this is way too bizarre so I say, "Uhhh I'm like you, just traveling east!"

At this point I am just trying to get out as fast as I can when I hear another question.

"Can I come over to your place after while?"

Ok, this question is just wacky, but I figured I could just be polite and end the conversation.
I tell him, "Well, I have company over, so today is a bad day for me!"

Then I hear the guy say nervously... "LISTEN!!! I'll have to call you back, there's an idiot in the other stall who keeps answering all my questions, bye!"

EVERYBODY HAVE A GREAT WEEKEND!

Thanksgiving Lesson

HAPPY THANKSGIVING!  (For those who won't be at the table this year!)

So This Is Putting America First,Right?

Note To Idiots

Thank You ,Parkland Survivors

What I've Learned

1. All Good Things Come In Time to those who go and get them!

2. Each New Day is a Chance to become a happier version of your self.

3.You Don't Sell Success...You Embody it!

4.I always liked people with simple, plain faces...every photo I see of me seems like I have so much going on with my face...

5. Ask Questions...Maybe, it'll lead to something!

6.People say that there is not a difference between love and sex...People that say that are usually women!

7.I learned more about love after a relationship was over than I did while it was going on!

8.Look back on what happened in a two-year period, you always think nothing has changed. But when you look at ten years, Everything's changed.

9.I Never Give Up, Something About me just can not accept defeat!

10..You're never beaten as long as you're still fighting. 

PEACE!

Weekend Humor

Iwent to the US Patent Office yesterday trying to register some of my inventions. I went to the main desk to sign in and the lady at the desk had a form that had to be filled out. She wrote down my personal info and then asked me what I had invented.

I said, "A folding bottle." She said, "Okay, what do you call it?"

"A Fottle", I replied.

"What else do you have?" " A folding carton."I said.

"And what do you call it?"she asked.

"A Farton." I replied.

She snickered and said, "Those are silly names for products and one of them sounds kind of crude." 

I was so upset by her comment that I grabbed the form and left the office without telling her about my folding bucket.

Everybody have a great weekend!

Never Ending Hyprocrisy!

Meet Matt Whitaker

So Let Me Get This Straight-

Keith's Favorite Quotes

Saturday 7- Seven Movies I intend to see

Haven't done one of these in awhile...


1. GREENBOOK-  Seems like Mahershala Ali has been popping up in all of my favorite pictures, "Hidden Figures", "Moonlight", et al and is said to be featured on the third season of HBO's "True Detective"  In "Green Book" he plays Jamaican Jazz Pianist Don Shirley in the unlikely story of an African American Musician and his Italian -American Driver and Bodyguard in the Jim Crow South of 1962.

2. IF BEALE STREET COULD TALK -Read the novel by James Baldwin years ago about  Tish, a newly engaged Harlem woman who races against the clock to prove her lover's innocence while carrying their first born child. It's a celebration of love told through the story of a young couple, their families, and their lives. Directed by "Moonlight" director, Barry Jenkins.

3. AQUAMAN- Okay...I'm a comic book nerd from way back...I always felt that Marvel's Sub-Mariner and D.C.'s Aquaman were never given justice on the big screen the way Batman, Superman, The Avengers,Spiderman et al were...So come December...I will be there front and center....

4.THE UPSIDE- I know, I know...It's the inter-racial buddy movie thing again....It's also the "Magic Negro" thing too...but come on Kevin Hart is in it...It's something new for him...A Drama...and he's a fellow Philadelphian...I gotta ride with my homeboy!

5.HALLOWEEN- Okay...I saw the first Halloween back in 1978, when Jamie Lee Curtis and I were both 20 years old...It's 2018 and Jamie Lee Curtis and I are both 60...Which means Micheal Myers must be 74...If Jamie Lee doesn't kill him in this movie...I'm afraid I'm going to have to do it...We runnin out of time Jamie Lee..

6.NOBODY'S FOOL- I love Tyler Perry....and I love Tiffany Haddish....Do I need a third reason to want to see this film?

7.THE GIRL IN THE SPIDERS WEB- If you loved the Girl with the Dragon Tattoo and I did, you've got to be curious about this...the second installment in the series.

Weekend Humor

Little Johnny attended a horse auction with his father.

He watched as his father moved from horse to horse, running his hands up and down the horse's legs and rump, and chest.

After a few minutes, Johnny asked, "Dad, why are you doing that?" 

His father replied, "Because when I'm buying horses, I have to make sure that they are healthy and in good shape before I buy." 

Johnny, looking worried, said, "Dad, I think the UPS guy wants to buy Mom."


Have A Great Weekend Everybody!

The Mid term Election- After thoughts

Good Morning..Allow me to rant this morning...about the aftermath of those mid term elections two days ago...

I'm happy that the Democrats won the house...but very disapointed that not only did they not win the Senate...they actually lost a couple of seats...

I'm disapointed that Gillium, Beto and Stacey Abrams did not win...There was no Blue Wave...Just a ripple..

The Democrats did what they were expected to do..Win the house...They lost key governorships in states that would have hurt #45... #45...Gotta give him credit where credit is due.....He played to his strengths and though he got a black eye...He did manage to stop the bleeding...It could have been worse for him...Game well played Mr. President..For now...Your day of reckoning is coming.. Believe that! 

 One thing I saw...and Democrats and Progressives can learn from this... Republicans, even when they dont like each other can manage to see the big picture and come together for the greater good (for them) Democrats and Progressives can't seem to do that...There is still a great divide.. Look, Ted Cruz doesn't like #45 and #45 doesn't like "Lyin Ted "Cruz...

but the Republicans needed that seat and they put their differences aside and came together and got the job done.. in 2016, when Bernie Sanders didn't get the nomination...The Left couldn't see the big picture...We've got to stop Trump...

They split into two camps..The Hillary Clinton camp and the "I'm not voting for either of them" camp...and the Results...#45 won and the Republicans won the House and the Senate in a race where they should have lost everything.. Even Mitch McConnell was shocked...They had to come to the men's room and get him off the toilet...He was in there crying until he heard the results...So I say that to say this..We've got to settle our diferences (like they do) and look at the bigger picture (Like They do!) The big picture being..We want this clown out of the White House....(Drops the Mike and walks off!)

A Month Away

Just Something To Ponder

When They Go Low...We Vote

Weekend Humor

I was barely sitting down when I heard a voice from the other stall saying: "Hi, how are you?"

I'm not the type to start a conversation in the men's restroom at a rest stop but, I don't know what got into me. I answered, somewhat embarrassedly: "Doin just fine!"

And the other guy says: "So, what are you up to?"

What kind of question is that? At that point, I'm thinking that this is way too bizarre so I say, "Uhhh I'm like you, just traveling east!"

At this point I am just trying to get out as fast as I can when I hear another question.

"Can I come over to your place after while?"

Ok, this question is just wacky, but I figured I could just be polite and end the conversation.

I tell him, "Well, I have company over, so today is a bad day for me!"

Then I hear the guy say nervously... 

"LISTEN!!! I'll have to call you back, there's an idiot in the other stall who keeps answering all my questions, bye!"

EVERYBODY HAVE A GREAT WEEKEND!

Just To Be Clear