Deacon's Blues

In addition to being a part of the "Marriage Enrichment Ministry" (MEM) with my wife at church (you've seen a few of the date night posts where all of our married couples went out to dinner, bowling, movies, etc.), I also took part in the "Mighty Men's Ministry" (MMM) for a brief period. Essentially, this group was a think tank where brothers of all ages met to talk about issues that effect men. I know that the women reading this are laughing because you all know that it's close to impossible to get men to discuss anything with passion outside of sex and sports, right? The discussions we had spanned generations and while sex was part of the discussions, it wasn't what you might normally think. We discussed fatherhood, responsibility, community issues, marriage, relationships, and a number of other things.

I'm sorry to say that it has been a while since I've been to one of the meetings but, it was during the time when I was there that I saw the man I am going to write about today. I suppose he is living proof of how God can change lives. I thought of him today because I was driving past a particular trolley route that he and I made "famous" years ago. He had put on weight and had grown a beard but, I recognized him as soon as I saw him. He was a deacon in the church now, married, and had a little boy (about 3 years old) that he was playing with. This guy and I had history...

A long time ago, I went to a junior high school that everybody in the neighborhood nicknamed "The Gladiator School"... William Shoemaker Jr. High. It's a middle school now but, it was notorious because it sat in the middle of three warring gang turfs. You had the Hoopes Street gang on the side nearest to 52nd Street... the Boot Hill Gang (later known as the "Hilltop Hustlers" in the surrounding area) and the Moon Gang, which had been around when my mother was a little girl. This gang was bigger and more organized than the other two gangs combined. Although I was never in any gang, I lived on "real estate" that had just been claimed by the Moon Gang, much to the detriment of the "Hilltop Hustlers". My brother and I had to walk to school through these two foreign turfs and then had to finesse our way back home everyday. If we were lucky, we only got shook down for some cash. Other guys weren't so lucky,they got beat up, got articles of clothing jacked.

Despite the beard, I knew who the deacon was or rather, who he used to be. After one of the MMM sessions was over, I walked over to him and said, "Ronnie, is that you?" He turned, looked at me, squinted his eyes, and it appeared that he didn't know who I was. So, I said to him, "You don't remember me? We used to go to Shoemaker. You used to take my lunch money." Ronnie replied, "Man, I used to take a lot of people's money." He laughed and then, he stretched his hand out to shake mine. I shook his hand and then asked him again... "You still don't remember me, do you? I was one who didn't give you my money." He looked at me again and in his mind, I guess he imagined me thinner and without the moustache. Then, it hit him... "Oh my God! Keith! Keith! Man I heard you were dead!" he said and we embraced. I said... "Nah, that was the other Keith. I'm very much alive." There were at least two other "Keiths" in our neighborhood at any given time.

Ronnie was a fringe member of the "Hilltop Hustlers". Well, actually, he just hung with them. He really wasn't in the gang but, he terrorized those of us (like myself) who didn't have any gang affiliations (as if he did) or no one to have our backs. He would "ask" guys for their lunch money and if they didn't give it up, he made them jump up and down to see if he could hear change jiggling. If he caught you in a lie about having money, there was hell to pay. One day, I made him pay his fare to hell.

It was a Friday. I had saved my lunch money all week and I was going to treat myself to something after school. I didn't feel like giving up my cash on this day so, when school let out, I tried to slip down the avenue as quick as possible but, here came Ronnie and his cousin. I was with another boy named Greg and I told him, "When they get up close, let's run in two different directions because they can't catch us both." Well, that's just what we did... we broke out. Unfortunately for me, both guys ran after me and forgot about Greg.

Boys didn't wear their pants saggin' back then and were in much better shape than they are today. So, when something went down, we were prepared to "get in the wind." Back then, you always saw somebody running... either from the cops or gangs. It was better than watching track and field in the Olympics. You could look out your window on any given day and see somebody running. It's the Philly way!

Anyway, Ronnie picked up a brick and sailed it right past my head. I threw a bottle at him and it just missed him. This nonsense went on for a few minutes and then I just decided to run it out! Mind you, not one cop showed up the entire time our little guerilla warfare was going on! I had a two-parked-cars lead on both of them and I was very agile and adept at weaving in and out of parked cars. These two yokels were no match for my speed and I easily out ran both of them and hopped on the trolley. I looked out the back window and waved at them as the trolley pulled off down the street. But, guess what? These two fools kept coming. I couldn't believe it! My laughter quickly turned to panic when the trolley stopped!!! A delivery truck was blocking the trolley.

I ran to the door and just as Ronnie's cousin came up the trolley steps, I kicked him right in his stomach and darted off the trolley. So, I was out in the street... running again. We continued to play our game of bottles and bricks... kids were ducking for cover and we continued running and throwing whatever we could pick up and hurl at each other. Not one adult intervened either. These people were so used to seeing worse things on that avenue that this little brouhaha was nothing to them. Social novocaine at its beginnings, I guess.

After I got down the street, I realized that Ronnie was still coming. He was mad (as well as out of breath and out of bricks.) I reached into a nearby trash can and pulled out an empty bottle of Old English and cracked it against the wall. Then, I turned around, so they could see the jagged edge of the bottle, and headed toward Ronnie and his cousin. I really didn't want to give up my cash that day and Ronnie and his cousin got the message real quick. They turned and ran. I stood there, sweaty, heart racing, and scared myself. I don't know what I would have done if I had caught them because I was really bluffing with the bottle... but, neither one of them wanted to find out if I was or wasn't for real. Sometimes a good bluff works. This was one of those times.

Neither Ronnie nor his cousin ever bothered me again and after I left that school, I only saw them occasionally on the street as adults. Ronnie's cousin got shot to death in 1986 trying to hold up a liquor store. I never knew what happened to Ronnie until I saw him at church. It was hard to believe that this gentle man, who was playing with his son, was once the neighborhood terror. God really does change lives. I told Ronnie that I had gone to college, joined the military, was married myself with a family, and had just recently moved my membership to this church. He told me that he had been in prison a little while and after he got out, he turned his life around... he got married and found God.

It was funny... I walked away thinking of how we almost killed each other that day, just because we lived in different neighborhoods and adhered to some silly code of the streets. We could have been friends all this time but, such was the insanity of growing up male of any race in Philadelphia at the time. It's even worse now... people who might have been friends really do kill each other nowadays so, I guess we were lucky, depending on how you look at it. As I was driving along that trolley route, I had to laugh... thinking of that early spring day when two young men turned that route into a war zone.

R.I.P. Spectrum

Remembering The Spectrum

This past Friday night, a peice of my past died. I guess it is a piece of every Philadelphian of a certain age's past. The last sporting event was held at the Spectrum. It was a basketball game between the Philadelphia 76ers and the Chicago Bulls. The Sixers have been playing in the brand new Wachovia Center across the street for the last six or seven years and so have the Flyers, while the Spectrum has been mostly used for high school graduations, high school basketball games, and small civic events. It was announced last year that the Spectrum was going to be torn down. The Sixers decided to play one last game there on Friday night and to have members of the 1983 NBA World Championship team attend the building's send off.

None of the current Sixers was even born in 1967 when the Spectrum opened. Back then, it was billed as an "ultra-modern sports facility" for Philadelphia's relatively young basketball team. The Sixers came to Philadelphia in 1963 from Syracuse and I don't have any idea where they played ball before there was a Spectrum. The Spectrum is, in fact, all I know. I can't tell you how many times my father took my brother and I to basketball games there or, after I got older, how many times I went there with my friends to see the Sixers.

The one time I ever attended a hockey game, it was at the Spectrum. I may have been one of three Blacks in attendance and the other two might have been a cop and a concession stand worker. I'm kidding of course... there were actually five of us. I also saw a few concerts there too... Hall & Oates, Phyllis Hyman, New Edition, Bobby Brown, and the Parliament-Funkadelic Mothership Connection Tour in 1977. (If you want to go w-a-y back, my wife remembers going there to see the Jackson Five three years in row 1969-71.) The Spectrum was also featured in a few of the Rocky movies. Those were all good times that I'll never forget.

I was at an NBA World Championship game between who else... the Sixers and the Los Angeles Lakers (it seemed like it was always us against them) when I saw a young rookie named Earvin "Magic" Johnson for the first time. He played every position that night... guard, forward, and center (Kareem Abdul Jabbar was out with a sprained ankle). He scored 22 points and crushed the Sixers right in front of my eyes. Who knew that we were watching the beginning of greatness?

I can still remember the smell of the hot dogs, the over-salted soft pretzels, sodas, and beer splashing and spilling in between the seats. Those smells never leave you. I can remember the constant smell of Pine Sol in the restrooms... it seemed like they poured the entire bottle of Pine Sol in those restrooms back then.

The last time I was at the Spectrum was in 1989. It was a concert that featured a very young Heavy D. & the Boys, Guy, Al B. Sure, and a forgettable MC for you hip-hop historians... Father MC. The only reason I bring him up is because one of his background singers was a very young and still unknown Mary J. Blige. She was singing the hook to "Treat 'Em Like They Wanna Be Treated." I didn't know it was her at the time... I found out years later. She talked about it during an interview and said that she was the one singing the hook on that song. And, it was not just her... K-Ci and JoJo, (future members of Jodeci ) were also singing background for Father MC that night.

My Spectrum memories are many and I could go on and on... but, I think this will suffice. They are going to tear it down soon and with it will go one more monument from my past. I hear that the demolition will start this coming Friday. I don't think that I'll be the only Philadelphian shedding a tear on that day.

Saturday Seven (7 Things I'm Rockin')

1. The Bible
Just like American Express, don't leave home without it.

2. Wedding Band
Designed and cut by Fred Doh, Jeweler, Philadelphia PA.

3. Movado Watch

4. Kenneth Cole Wallet
I have to say, of all of the Pollyanna gifts I've ever received, this remains my favorite.

5. LG c-e-110 Ultra Slim Cell Phone

6. Hugo Boss cologne and shower gel set

7. Nike Free Dynamic men's training shoe

Cereal Killah

McDonald's Wireless Connectivity
Official Wi-Fi Logo & Website: Find A Location Near You!

Last week, I wrote a post about Terrell Owens being cut from the Dallas Cowboys and I mentioned that I was watching it on the news in a McDonald's. A few people took me to task for eating my breakfast in McDonald's. Never mind that this particular McDonald's is wi-fi compatible and has flat screen TV monitors all over it flashing CNN, Sportscenter, and MTV all day long, depending on what section you are sitting in.

In order to comply with those of you who were concerned about the future of my health, I decided to not only eat healthier breakfasts but, to eat somewhere other than Mickey D's. All of this week, I've been eating at "Milkboys Diner" (yes, that's what it's called). The diner was built the year before I was born and although it is clean, it does not have a flat screen TV, nor is it wifi-compatible. There is a TV in the diner but, it's going to need a digital converter soon. Here, I have been eating some healthy breakfast meals and I might add, meals that are throwbacks to my childhood. For instance...

Monday, I had an old childhood favorite... Cap'n Crunch's Crunch Berries, wheat toast, orange Juice, and coffee. My brother and I ate so much Cap'n Crunch cereal when we were children and up until our senior year of high school that I think we both swore off of it for close to 20 years. It still tastes good. I don't get why people said that it scratched the roof of their mouths... maybe they weren't eating it right.


Tuesday, I had Honey Nut Cheerios, wheat toast, orange juice, and coffee. I saw the character, Omar... the gay stick-up man from my favorite TV series of all time, "The Wire", jack a box of Honey Nut Cheerios from a store in one episode and I became a fan of the cereal ever since. It sures feels funny ordering cereal in a diner. I was so used to eating it at home when I was growing up.


Wednesday, I had Frosted Flakes w/ bananas and strawberries cut up in 'it. (Yeah, I had to buy the banana and the strawberries but, it was worth it... very healthy.) I had apple juice instead of orange juice, no toast, and a small cup of coffee. My blood pressure was 120/75, my weight was 220 lbs., and I've lost 7 lbs. in the past week. I am presently 20 lbs. off of my goal to weigh 200 lbs. by my birthday, which is in two weeks but, I knew that.


Today, I think I'll go with Apple Jacks... another one of my favorites from childhood. I can't go wrong with this one! Maybe, just maybe, I'll treat myself on Friday to some hot cereal... oatmeal or something of that sort. I think I've earned it.

There are some of you who may take issue with my choice of cereals. If so, that's too bad because I'm not eating Grape Nuts or anything like that... you can forget it. This is about as healthy as it's gonna get for me right now. As 12Kyle would say, "Belee dat!"

He Didn't Look Like The Type

Rhianna & Chris Brown

I wrote a post last year during Domestic Abuse Month (October) about an acquaintance of mine who cold-cocked his girlfriend right in front of me while we were riding in his car because she complimented me on my shirt. He viewed it as being "disrespectful" to him. He also told me that if I didn't like it, (which I didn't and I told him so) I could get out of the car too. I wound up having to take the bus, the El, and another bus home from my destination and so did the girl, who had a swollen face and a black eye.

I brought this back up because I've heard yet another story about Rhianna and Chris Brown today and why he beat her up. The point is, not only do I not care why he beat her up, there is no why he had to do it, as far as I'm concerned. I kept looking at his photo when the story first broke and remembering the guy I saw in the movie "This Christmas". I kept saying, "He doesn't look like the type." Then, I had to catch myself... just what does an abusive man look like?

My former friend who punched his girlfriend in the car we were riding in didn't look the type either. For one thing, he was short (about 5' 7"), had a cherub-like baby face (the kind old ladies like to pinch), and was of slight build. Yet, he terrorized his girlfriend. In my previous post, I talked about how he had knocked another of his girlfriends down a flight of stairs, which caused her to lose the child she was carrying. He was a vicious little guy and during the entire time I knew him, he and I had argued quite a bit but, he never raised his hand to strike me. I believe I gave him plenty more reason to do so than any of his girlfriends yet, the thought never came to his mind (which is why he's alive today).

The night he told me to get out of his car, after he hit the girl, I called him a punk and a few other unprintable things. Yet, he did nothing to me, except drive off. He even apologized (to me) a few days later. Which brings up one of my main theories about guys who beat on women. They almost never flex or get chest up with other guys. I have never seen a case of that yet. They terrorize women but, are as meek as a lamb with men. So, I call abusive men what they really are... bullies. (I was thinking of another word that begins with a "b" but, I'm a Christian now and I don't talk like that anymore. Y'all get my drift, right?)

A man should never put his hands on a woman. If you get that angry, walk away. The same strategy could be used when dealing with other men too... just walk away. Nowadays, that could save you from being shot or stabbed.

I am hearing that Chris Brown got a text message from his cougar of a manager, who he's been seeing since he was 16 years old. Rhianna allegedly got upset about it and tossed his BlackBerry and car keys out into the street. This is what led to the punching, biting, and scratching that now threatens to derail both of their careers and possibly land him in deep legal waters.

I don't know if this story is true or not but, of the many I have heard, this sounds the most credible and logical. It doesn't really matter. Of all of the stories I've heard, Chris Brown still was not justified in punching Rhianna. I have also heard that this is not the first time this has happened between them either... it was just the first time that Chris was caught! It wouldn't surprise me if that turned out to be true too... just like it doesn't surprise me that Rhianna has gone back to him.

My former friend's girlfriend eventually went back to him too but, she didn't stay long. A lot of these women go back to the abusive guy because they don't feel as though they have anywhere else to go. Their sense of self-worth has been stripped and they don't feel as though anyone else will want them. This is the little shell game that the abusive guy runs on these women. The truth is usually the reverse... he's the one who nobody will want!

The best thing to do when you're in a relationship and somebody hits you once is to leave and never return. Once it begins, there is no reason to think that it's not going to continue. I can't tell you how many times I have put on my cape and told someone this and they haven't listened... even made excuses as to why they were hit, like it was their fault. This is why I retired from the superhero business. My warnings fell on deaf ears.

I don't know Chris Brown or Rhianna and I don't pretend to know what happened that night in Hollywood. Unlike a lot of people, I'm not that invested in knowing either but, I did see the end result of what happened and regardless, Rhianna didn't deserve that... and she deserves better than what she's giving herself by continuing to be a part of it.

Related Post: Click here to see "Conspiracy of Silence" 10/09/08.

Janazah

ART: "Janazah" (Artist Unknown)

My co-worker's husband died suddenly early Friday morning. It was kinda weird because just the day before, she and I were talking and she said that he was sick. A person can be sick and there are several degrees of being sick. You can have a cold or the flu-kinda sick or you can be on your deathbed-kinda sick. She didn't say how sick he was and my mind didn't go there.

They had just gotten married on September 30th of last year and I recall her telling me that her husband had taken ill right around the Thanksgiving holidays. She was very depressed then. Around Christmas, I inquired about him again and her spirits were up because he was home and he appeared to be doing better. I was surprised to hear last month that he was back in the hospital again. I didn't inquire about his illness. We are friendly on the job and I would even go as far as to say we are somewhat friends... but, not friendly enough that I feel as though I could inquire that deeply about something like that. That may sound a bit harsh but, it is what it is... every relationship and every friendship is different.

Friday morning, when I didn't see my co-worker at the coffee shop, I figured that she just took the day off. I was saddened to hear that her new husband of five months had passed away. She waited a long time to find him and I do know that right after they got married and she returned from her honeymoon, I'd never seen her happier. They were both Muslim and in that religion's custom, the body can not be above ground over three sundowns so, his Janazah (funeral) service was held today. I attended with four of my other co-workers and it was the first time I'd been in a Mosque in over thirty years.

I knew the ceremony would be different from the Christian ceremony that I am accustomed to. First off, everyone must remove their shoes. One thing my mother always taught me in addition to bathing daily was to always wear clean underwear and socks. I have to thank her... I've always been fastidious like that and, Thank God, today was no different.

After removing our footwear, the men were ushered into a separate room, blocked by a glass partition. The women (including the widow) were seated in an adjoining room. The casket was in the room with us. The Iman said a prayer and all of the men got on their knees and kneeled with their faces to the floor.

The prayer was in Arabic so, I couldn't tell you what was said but, we kneeled and then we stood up a number of times before the prayer was through. Next, we stood in quiet meditation around the casket. In the quiet somberness, I heard someone crying softly... I believe it was the brother of the deceased. Several men walked over to him and put their arms around him. Then, there was nothing but a very peaceful quietness and the pall bears took the casket out the backdoor.

As we all dismissed, I walked over into the room where the women were and embraced my co-worker. I was politely told that I could not be in the room with the women and I quietly walked out into the street. It was a very quiet and efficient ceremony. It started on time and was over in 50 minutes. I wish all funerals and weddings could run that well. I stand and applaud these brothers and sisters in this mosque.

As I rode back to work in my co-worker's car, I was silent. I was thankful that I've had nearly twenty years to love and enjoy my spouse. I was sad that my co-worker only had five months and I thought about how life can be unfair to some people sometimes but, how we have to go on and how we have to savor every moment in our lives that is good. At times like this, these moments help us to keep going on.

25 Writers Who Influenced Me

It's been a while but, I've been tagged again. It seems that Regina over at Regina's Family Seasons is under the impression that I like to read and she is absolutely right! I have been asked to name 25 writers who have influenced me and tag 25 people to do the same. (I don't know about tagging 25 people but, I'll do my best to name a few-lololol!)

Since I can remember, I have always loved to read. My grandfather used to read the newspaper to me and by the time I entered kindergarten, I could read a little bit. Books became my friends and by the list of writers below, you'll see that my tastes are quite eclectic.

25 writers who have influenced me are (in no particular order):

1. Chester Himes
2. James Baldwin
3. Richard Wright
4. Walter Mosley
5. Maya Angelou
6. Zora Neal Hurston
7. Terri McMillan
8. Diane McKinney-Whetstone
9. Omar Tyree
10. Juan Williams
11. Valerie Wilson Wesley
12. Zane
13. Bebe Moore Campbell
14. George L. Jackson
15. Eldridge Cleaver
16. Frantz Fanon
17. Jean Genet'
18. Tananarive Due
19. Eric Jerome Dickey
20. Nikki Giovanni
21. Donald Goines
22. William Shakespeare
23. Langston Hughes
24. Edgar Allan Poe
25. Alex Haley

My tag list for this endeavor is three bloggers... Enjoy!

1. Mizrepresent (Miz's Write For Life)

2. A.J. Brown (A.J. Brown)

3. Moanerplicity (Moaningmoanerplicities)

Kiss Him Goodbye

Terrell "T.O." Owens

This morning, I was in a rare McDonald's that had a flat screen TV and Sportscenter was on it. While enjoying my coffee and pancake platter with hash browns, I saw the news that Terrell Owens had been cut by the Dallas Cowboys. I have to say that I was surprised... especially, since I saw the owner, Jerry "360" Jones, in several interviews after my Eagles gave the Cowboys a beat down (that would've made Ike Turner rise up out of his grave and say, "Damn man, ease up!"), saying how much he loved T.O. All during that "controversy" late in the season when T.O accused quarterback Tony Romo of conspiring with the tight end, Whitten, to keep him from getting any passes, Jerry Jones stood behind T.O. Mr. 360 talked about how T.O. "just wanted to help the Cowboys win games."

I don't understand why people are now saying that he was too much of a distraction in the locker room. Really? Where have they been for the past ten years? You know I know... he played here for my Eagles during what I will admit was my very favorite year as a football fan in my life. He and Donavan McNabb were a perfect one-two punch on the field and together, the Eagles romped to a 13-3 record and waltzed to the Super Bowl against the New England Patriots. T.O. came back from ankle surgery and played superb in what was unfortunately a losing, yet competitive effort. I believe that if that team had been kept together with just a little bit of tweaking in the off-season, they could have come back the next year and taken the Super Bowl... New England be damned.

I was proud to be an Eagles fan that year but, something about T.O. bothered me even then. It seemed like every week when we played somebody, T.O. had some kind of grievance against somebody on the opposing team. At first, I thought it was just a motivator. Michael Jordan used to use the slightest real or imagined slight from an opposing player to motivate himself so, I overlooked T.O.'s antics. He would appear in the papers here and slander an opposing defensive coach, offensive coordinator, or quarterback (Jeff Garcia, who he not so subtlely implied was homosexual). We were winning games so, I just filed it in the back of my mind.

Then, after the Super Bowl, he turned his antics inward. Once again, he not so subtlely suggested in the newspapers that Donovan McNabb didn't play up to par and when the game got tight, his stomach went south. Then, he asked the Eagles to restructure his contract and attempted to sit out training camp. After that, T.O. and former Eagle, Hugh Douglass, got into a fist fight in the locker room. Finally, the Eagles management decided that he was more trouble than he was worth and in one of the stupidest moves in football history, they traded him to our most hated rivals... the Dallas Cowboys. (In hindsight, maybe it wasn't so stupid.)

I predicted that the Dallas Cowboys would win the division with T.O. and take the Super Bowl the next year. They didn't... we took the division. The next year, there was the infamous Tony Romo-Jessica Simpson night in Tijuana and the fumble seen around the world in Seattle that effectively knocked the Cowboys out of the playoffs.

This year, The Cowboys were built to win it all. It was said that they were "deep" and I believed it. In fact, I predicted that my Eagles would finish in the basement and that Dallas and New York would battle for the division. Then came the Whitten conspiracy and a surprising Eagles victory over the Cowboys. After three years with T.O., they haven't won a playoff game, let alone challenge for the Super Bowl.

Now, Terrell Owens has been given his walking papers and now, that makes three teams that he has burned his bridges with... the San Francisco 49ers, the Philadelphia Eagles, and the Dallas Cowboys. And, it's four if you consider he was traded to Baltimore and refused to play for them, demanding to be traded to the Eagles, which he was, without running a down.

So, where will he go now? My bet is with the Raiders (that used to be my team back in the day). They have a history of taking in "bad boys" and ne'er do-wells. Baltimore might be willing to forgive and forget. Although, Ray Lewis won't take any of his male diva crap. Then, there's New England. Can you see them with T.O. and Randy Moss? N-O-T! Kansas City might want to dance. Then, there's New York... With Plax gone, they could use a wide receiver with T.O.'s talent. I would really be afraid if the Giants got him.

Somebody will take a chance on him. The man has talent, the man can still run with 4.4 speed, and the man is still in great physical shape. This reminds me of that girl... the one who you know will cheat on you and is just using you but, you go out with her anyway because... well, look at her!!! It's like the Bell Biv Devoe warning... never trust a big butt and a smile. Yet, the teams in the NFL will salivate at the thought of T.O. despite his record with the Niners, Eagles, and Cowboys because... well, look at him!!!

(Update: Terrell Owens has signed with the Buffalo Bills- 03/08/09)

Used To Be My Girl

I spotted her and her son in church a few Sundays ago but, I didn't get a chance to talk to her. I ran into her again at a busy intersection... her car had passed by mine in another lane and she waved. Busy traffic is not the place to talk or catch up so, I waved and kept going. Yesterday, we ran into each other in the supermarket and we finally had a chance to talk...

I'll call her Yvette W. and she was my girlfriend for a brief period of six months some years ago. She was maybe two women before I met my wife (I don't really remember... I've lost count now). She was one of the few women that didn't have any real drama behind her and I can't remember why we didn't stay together.

I met her after both of us had finished college and I remember that, out of all of us who were hanging out together (male and female), she was the only one who had a clear view of the future. She wanted to start her own business. We were all working at various underpaid jobs and then, we would go to Blueberry Hill on "three-for-one" night. We would bitch and complain about how our parents lied to us about America being the land of opportunity and if we stayed in school and kept out noses clean, we would inherit (at least) a decent middle class life. Not one of my fellow graduates was leading that lifestyle.

We were the "post civil rights generation"... we went to college in droves, graduated, and entered the world expecting to land that six figure salary. Indeed, America and the world we entered into in 1984 was a strange one. The economy was tanking... inflation and unemployment was rising. It sounds just like today but, I hear today is supposedly worse.We at least, got jobs somewhere. I don't know what kids are doing for money now of days.

Yvette W. was my complexion but, she had red hair and the prettiest hazel eyes you ever wanted to see. You could look into her eyes and see your future I used to say and that would crack her up. She was well-read and could hold a conversation about more than Prince's new album or how high she got the night before, which intrigued me. She had a blueprint of how her life was going to be and it was a practical one. Me? I was flying by the seat of my pants back then... I was out of college and working anywhere that could pay. It was as if I had given up ever being successful and was just "living for today". But, not Yvette W., which is why I know we didn't stay together. She was way too far ahead of me then. I wound up in the Air Force and I heard that she had gotten married and had a son while I was away.

In 1998, I ran into Yvette W. again. She was working as a receptionist for a doctor who was in the same building as my doctor was in. We talked and caught up... I found out that she had divorced, remarried again, and had a daughter. I'm pretty sure I told her that I was married and had a teenage daughter that was about to graduate high school. I know I must have told her but, she probably forgot.

Yesterday, Yvette W. lifted my left hand and studied my wedding band and proclaimed... "Keith, you got married!" She said this as though I'd just got married last week. I said to her... "Yvette, June will make twenty years that I've been married. I have a grown daughter and a grandson." She said, "Really? You never told me that you were married when I worked in the doctor's office." I told her, "I'm certain that I did."

She told me that she had been married twice and neither situation panned out. I saw her with her son in church but, I had never met her daughter. She said, "My son is in his first year of grad school and he's a Kappa man like you." I said, "I don't believe I've ever met your daughter." She replied, "That girl... if I don't kill her first, you may never meet her. She's a junior at Delaware State College. She broke my heart... she pledged Delta." (Yvette W. is an AKA.) We both laughed and I remarked that brother and sister were just keepin' it red and white.

I knew that Yvette W. no longer worked for the doctor so, I asked her where she was working. She said... "Remember, how I always said that I wanted to go into business for myself one day? Well, I finally did it. I finished Real Estate school after college and after working for a few firms, I opened up my own Real Estate office in Cheltenham (a Philadelphia suburb) a few years back. I have a staff of five people that work for me. It's nothin' big but, you know... it's something."

We talked about how funny it was that we both wound up becoming members of the same church. She then remarked, "You know what? I knew you were married. I saw you with your wife in church and in the car that time I passed you. Well, I... uh... knew you were in a relationship. You know how you used to be... you never could tell but, considering that I saw the two of you together a number of times, I figured she was more than just a girlfriend." I said... " Yes, she is definitely more than just a girlfriend." We both laughed.

Yvette W. told me that she was presently involved with a guy she met at church. She then said that, since they started seeing each other, she couldn't get him to come to church! We had a big laugh about it. I wished her well, and we went our separate ways after agreeing to keep in touch. I don't know how we are supposed to do that since we didn't exchange numbers. I guess we can do that when we see each other in church.

I was happy for Yvette W. She dreamed of starting her own business and she stuck to it. Despite the setbacks she had over the years with two failed marriages and raising two children, she had realized her dream. Maybe our parents didn't lie to us at all... they just didn't tell us how long it might take to realize our dreams or how much hardship we would have to endure.

Rush

Limbaugh

You know, far be it from me to give the Republican Party any advice. I doubt that they would take it from a radical leftist socialist like me. But, since I have been known to give unwanted advice anyway (just ask some of my friends), here it is and it's very simple. You do NOT want Rush Limbaugh listed as the head of the Republican Party! Not if you want to be taken seriously! He is an entertainer and not a very good one at that. Take him for what he is and move on.

Like Sarah Palin, I really don't wish to fill up space on my blog discussing this man another day. It's just that I found it laughable yesterday when I turned to three TV stations (CNN, MSNBC, FOX News) and I heard pundits referring to Rush Limbaugh, the radio talk show host and leading windbag, as the "Head of the Republican Party". I thought to myself, they couldn't be serious, could they? If people are ignoring them now and seeing them as a joke, they will lose further credibility if he is seen as the symbolic head of the conservative movement and the GOP.

I find this as silly as saying that Steve Harvey, Michael Baisden, Al Sharpton, or me for that matter, could be considered the symbolic leader of the Democratic Party. There are people who have spent four or more years in college and have worked in government and politics for many long, hard hours who are better suited for that title than any radio host, television personality, or blogger even. Do we all have opinions? Yes. Does our opinion influence a wide spectrum of people? Yes again. But, that's as far as it goes.

Michael Steele

I was watching D.L. Hughley's show on CNN a few nights ago and he had Republican National Committee Chairman Michael Steele (who is also the first African-American to hold this post), on his show. He said that Rush Limbaugh was the head of the Republican Party and Michael Steele corrected him by saying... "No, he is not. He is an entertainer. I am the head of the Republican Party". The next day, Rush Limbaugh gave Michael Steele a tongue lashing on his radio show and between then and now, Michael Steele has backed up on his statement and issued some type of apology to Rush Limbaugh. Apology for what???

Not that I care... I really don't... but, it appears to me that a lot of Republicans fear this guy. A radio talk show host! He has an allegedly popular radio show and a lot of listeners (although, I suspect a lot less than he used to have). Still, I think that his listeners are a small minority that can no longer sway an election. Obviously, they can't because The House, The Senate, and The Big Seat are controlled by Democrats right now and it's already been proven that President Obama really doesn't need much (if any) Republican support to get any legislation passed.

What the Republicans should be doing is addressing alternative ways to get this country back on track economically. In other words, they should be talking about what the disenfranchised man on the street is talking about... employment, education, tax relief, the infra-structure, etc. Oh, but that is already being done by the other party and you guys never really were any good at connecting with what is really important.

Not too many people are worried about abortion, gay marriage, flag burning, or having their guns snatched away from them right now. It's going to be mighty hard to convince any guys who have lost their jobs in a factory or a man who just lost his farm that the rich fat cats shouldn't have to pay more taxes or that they should keep their jobs when they are responsible for the mess we are in. That's going to be a pretty hard sell at this point and 65% of the American people agree with me on that across the board, Rush... Blacks, Whites, Latinos, Asians, etc. To paraphrase Jay-Z ,"Who you with?"

Rush is basically preaching to the choir... what's left of the choir he already had because I don't see his choir growing. I don't understand why these Republican guys are so afraid of him. He can't hurt them or help them at this point. But, I digress... that is their mess. I just thought I'd pass along a little unwanted advice to them.

This is why I'm the Maverick of All Bloggers... I even try to help my ideological adversaries from time to time. Now, what other blogger do you know will take time out to do that? Ain't I somethin' else?

Free To Be... Stupid

Exhibit A: The Book Display

Recently, there was a controversy concerning a book display in a Florida Barnes & Noble store, in which someone inserted a book about "monkeys" right in the middle of a group of books about our 44th President. And, this comes just a few weeks after the New York Post "monkey cartoon" incident. The spokesperson for Barnes & Noble said that they believe that, more than likely, a customer was the culprit in this case. I believe them. After the hue and cry over that cartoon, no business in their right mind is going to do something like that... but, some idiot customer who still can't get over the notion of a black president would.

Exhibit B: The Birth Certificate

Then, you have the numbskulls who are trying to say that Barack "Hussein" Obama, as they like to call him (with extra emphasis on "Hussein") to not so subtley infer that he is somehow related to the late Iraqi strongman, are saying that the president was not born in the United States and, therefore, is not the legitimate Commander in Chief. These idiots have even gotten two soldiers presently serving in Iraq to go along with this insanity. They are demanding that the president produce his birth certificate to prove that he's an American citizen.

I would get angry but, it's a free country and people are free to expouse any idiotic idea they choose, so long as they don't hurt anyone. These people certainly aren't hurting anyone other than their own image. There are important things to be concerned about right now and someone drawing a cartoon, placing a book in a book display, or demanding that the president produce his birth certificate aren't even distractions. They cause me to shake my head and chuckle a bit but, they will not distract me from the things that I am most concerned about.

Exhibit C: The Email

However, the Southern California mayor who shared an email with a black colleague that portrayed a field of watermelons on the white house lawn with the caption "No Easter Egg Hunt This Year" and then said that he "had no idea that the watermelons was a racial stereotype", will NOT get the benefit of the doubt from me. If he's telling the truth then, I think he should present HIS birth certificate and prove to me that HE is an American citizen.

There is no way that he lived in America for over 40 years and not been thorougly versed on all of the negative stereotypes heaped on not just African-Americans but, Native Americans, Asians, Latinos, gays, and women. I could add the Irish, Italians, and Jews to the mix too. It's just part of growing up in this country... racially and culturally stereotyping other people.

We all do it. We all tell these kind of jokes when we are alone in our respective tribes and giggle together. When this ugliness gets out into the mainstream media for all to see, we then pretend to be shocked, appalled, and act as though this is the first time we are hearing or seeing this kind of thing. And, that is why this type of thing doesn't shock me, surprise me, and now... doesn't even get me angry. It's just more dirt that I'm going to brush off of my shoulders while keeping my eyes and ears open to what is really important and I advise every well-meaning American to do the same.

Exhibit D: The Radio Talk Show Host

And, to Rush Limbaugh: Thank you... your stupidity inspires me everyday to read more books and to continue to educate myself.

What I've Learned

1. Sometimes, letting go of a past hurt is easier said than done.

2. At the end of the day, a good hot meal and a nice hot bath goes a long way towards cooling you off and relieving stress. (Especially, after you've had a day when you just wanted to ring somebody's neck!)

3. I talk to God quite often and I'm pretty sure I've given Him some of His best laughs.

4. There's nothing like a recession to teach you what's really important in life.

5. Drinking a nice hot cup of coffee while watching the sunrise is indeed a liberating experience.

6. Every morning that I wake up with someone beside me is a blessing... many people sleep alone.

7. Marriage is, of course, a loving relationship but what a lot of people fail to realize is that it is also a business contract.

8. Good music, regardless of genre, is good today and will still be good 20 or 30 years down the road.

9. A little free-floating anxiety is good for you.

10. I would rather be a well-groomed man than a well-dressed man. (Take some time to think about what I just said.)