Weekend Humor- Two For Your Trouble

"Father, how am I going to tell my husband that I am still a virgin?" said the young woman.


"My child, you have been a married woman for many years. You have had three husbands! Surely that cannot be." said her father.

"Well, father, my first husband was a psychologist, and all he wanted to do was talk, and the next one was in construction and he always said he'd get to it tomorrow. The last one was a gynecologist and all he did was look. But this time, father, I'm marrying a lawyer and I'm sure I'm going to get screwed."


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A little boy walks into a whore house with a $100 bill and a dead frog. He goes to the pimp and asks for the ho with the most STD's.

The pimp is surprised but gives the boy his ho. After the boy does his deed, the pimp asks why he wanted the ho with all the STD's

The boy answers: "When I go home, I will get a babysitter while my parents go out to eat and I'll screw her. When my parents get home, my dad will drive the sitter home and screw her in the car. Tonight, my parents will screw. Tomorrow, after my dad leaves for work, my mom will do the mailman. AND THAT's The Bastard WHO RAN OVER MY FROG !!!!"

Everybody have a great weekend!