Friday, December 2, 2016
Okayyyy, here goes-
A guy spots a nice looking girl in a bar goes up and starts small talk. Seeing that she didn't back off he asked her name. "Carmen," she replied.
"That's a nice name." he said warming up the conversation.
"Who named you, your mother?" he asked.
"No, I named myself." she answered.
"Oh, that's interesting. Why Carmen?" he asked .
"Because I like cars, and I like men." she said looking directly into his eyes.
"So what's your name?" she asked.
He said "Beersex."
A woman walks into a bar, and guy says, "Can I buy you a drink?"
"Sure." said the woman.
After a few moments of conversing she finally asked, "So what’s your occupation?"
He says "I’m a Carpenter." ....
"To what extent of carpentry do you work?" asked the woman.
The man states: "Well, I actually work exstensively with Wood. First, I get you hammered. Next, I nail you then, I screw all your friends."
U know u r an Alcoholic when:
• You lose arguments with inanimate objects. ...
• You have to hold onto the lawn to keep from falling off the earth.
• Job interfering with your drinking.
• Your doctor finds traces of blood in your alcohol stream.
• The back of your head keeps getting hit by the toilet seat.
• You can focus better with one eye closed.
• The parking lot seems to have moved while you were in the bar.
• Mosquitoes get a buzz after attacking you
• You wake up in the bedroom, your underwear is in the bathroom, you fell asleep clothed.
Okayyyyy, Everybody have a great weekend!