Friday, December 2, 2016

Weekend Humor - Three Good Ones)


Okayyyy, here goes-


A guy spots a nice looking girl in a bar goes up and starts small talk. Seeing that she didn't back off he asked her name. "Carmen," she replied.


"That's a nice name." he said warming up the conversation.


"Who named you, your mother?" he asked.


"No, I named myself." she answered.


"Oh, that's interesting. Why Carmen?" he asked .


"Because I like cars, and I like men." she said looking directly into his eyes.


"So what's your name?" she asked.


He said "Beersex."


Twoooooooooooooooooooo!


A woman walks into a bar, and guy says, "Can I buy you a drink?"


"Sure." said the woman.


After a few moments of conversing she finally asked, "So what’s your occupation?"


He says "I’m a Carpenter." ....


"To what extent of carpentry do you work?" asked the woman.


The man states: "Well, I actually work exstensively with Wood. First, I get you hammered. Next, I nail you then, I screw all your friends."


And Threeeeeeeeeeeeeee....


U know u r an Alcoholic when:
• You lose arguments with inanimate objects. ...
• You have to hold onto the lawn to keep from falling off the earth.
• Job interfering with your drinking.
• Your doctor finds traces of blood in your alcohol stream.
• The back of your head keeps getting hit by the toilet seat.
• You can focus better with one eye closed.
• The parking lot seems to have moved while you were in the bar.
• Mosquitoes get a buzz after attacking you
• You wake up in the bedroom, your underwear is in the bathroom, you fell asleep clothed.



Okayyyyy, Everybody have a great weekend!

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