Drama-Free Relationships

Can we drama-proof our relationships? This is a question I have pondered after reading a number of blog posts and listening to a lot of my male and female friends speak on the subject. Sometimes, I wonder if some of us want the drama or just need the drama.

Before I met my wife of 19 years, I took a breather for a hot minute and took stock of all of my previous relationships. In every last one of them, somebody lied or misrepresented themselves in some way which led to a lot of non-sense and unnecessary stress of some type. Why do we lie to each other in these relationships? Well, let's look at it...

Women lie to themselves all the time. A lot of times, they know the type of guy they have after the first few conversations. They know who and what he is... they have chance after chance to ask certain questions about this guy and time and time again, they don't. After a lot of relationships end, I have often asked the woman, "How come you didn't know such and such? What did you all talk about when you were dating?" I usually get a shrug, the bent head, and the averted eyes.

Women are afraid to ask questions that matter and afraid to set standards because they fear that the man is going to leave them if they do. Ladies, let me let you in on a little secret... If a man really wants you, he's not going anywhere. There is not too much you can do to run him away. Now, if a man's primary motive when he comes across you is just to "get some", then maybe he will run if challenged... but then again, you don't want that kind of guy anyway, do you?

Now, men lie too but, not in the way you ladies might think. We know from the minute we first meet you and get to know you a little bit if you're "the one" or just "one of the ones"... feel me? We know if we want to hang around for the long haul or if it's just a sex thing but, we aren't going to tell you that and do you know why? Because a lot of us feel, if we are that honest and upfront with you all, you are not going to go for it and, in most cases, that's true. So, a lot of us pretend to be someone who we're really not so that we can get what we want and you ladies let us, just so you can say, "Ah got a man and you don't. How do ya like me now?" Here's a case in point...

A guy I knew (who I'll call Juan) was seeing this girl for about three months. He told her that he occasionally saw other women and that he didn't see their relationship as an exclusive one yet but, it had the potential to be that one day. I know what some of you ladies are thinking... Bull, right? Wrong, he was absolutely serious. His girl said, "Well, if you're seeing other women, then I guess I need to be seeing other men and I think I will." He said that he really didn't want her seeing other men but, in light of what he was doing, he understood and wouldn't stand in her way but, he would still like to see her from time to time.

Strange as that relationship sounds, it worked out. No following anyone around... no hurt feelings if someone came back and reported that they saw Juan with another woman... no nothing. They eventually got married. I don't know if he still "sees other women" but, they had a very drama-free and open courtship. Now, why can't we all do that? I can't lie... I couldn't be that upfront myself but, it's a wonderful example of how relationships could be drama-free and actually work.
My marriage is the only drama-free relationship that I have ever been a part of in my life. Why is that? I couldn't tell you. God just looked down at a fool and had mercy on him, I suppose.

Hi Hater!

In order to understand the nature of hate, you have to know what it's like to be a hater. In the course of a lifetime, all of us (if we are honest) have been a hater. A great majority of us have been victimized by haters but, at least one or two times, we have been guilty of the same thing ourselves... (again, if we are honest).

When I use the term "hate", I'm basically talking about jealousy and envy and I believe that it's impossible to have never felt these two strong emotions for something or someone. I wrote a post a couple of weeks ago about how I was envious of someone who was living the life I had always wanted for myself. This was a mild form of "hate" without the maliciousness... it was more an envious type of thing. One of the Ten Commandments tells us that we should not covet, meaning simply that you shouldn't want something that is not yours. However, the lines get blurred a lot of times. Here is an example of wanting something that is no longer yours...

I was involved with a young lady once who abruptly (I thought) broke off our relationship. I don't think we had stopped seeing each other a good week before I saw her with another guy... a guy who I had been pretty cool with and who knew that I was seeing this young lady. I made my self sick with the hateration that I spread. I said some of the nastiest things about the girl, who I professed to love just a few weeks before, and I saved my most vilest comments for the guy, who had been considered a friend or at least, cool with me before I saw him with the girl. I talked to anyone who would listen about how "corny" the guy was, how she would never be happy with him, and how he would never do the things I did for her. For a week, I was consumed with their lives... so consumed that I didn't have a life of my own anymore. I was too caught up in what they were doing.

See that's the thing about haters... they are so worried about the object of their hate that they can't enjoy life and they can't get anything of their own going on. In many cases, the object of their hate is not even aware that they feel this way and, if they are aware... if they are smart... they don't concern themselves with it and the hater is the one wasting his or her time in the end.

A friend of mine at the time, "Loose Goose", (Okay, you can stop laughing... that actually was his nickname... a great reason why you should just say no to drugs.) was sitting in his car with me one night. He was smoking a big fat turbo joint yet, talking and making a lot of sense. I was going on and on about the girl and the guy and he said simply, "Man, you are blowin' my high and if you got high, you'd understand what I was talking about." He said that too but, the main thing he said was, "All this energy you're spendin' worryin' about them, you could be puttin' towards findin' a new girl 'cause neither one of them look like they care about you right now."

That was one of those truths that was so real, it couldn't be argued. Once I looked at it that way, I stopped getting myself so worked up. I stopped focusing on my broken heart and my wounded pride and started focusing on doing something to make myself feel better. Once I found some joy in my own life, my hateration ended and I was able to move on.

That's the thing about hate, it can literally make you physically sick and it's never worth the energy that people put into it. I have read about people going to work the day after the election and getting evil stares and gritting teeth from McCain-Palin supporters. Why? What was a minute of that going to get any of them? It's an election... it's not the end of the world. Their lives are not going to change that much too soon. If anything, they ought to be saying, "thank you" but, that's another topic for another blog post.

Since I've been a hater, I understand the logic of the hater somewhat or, at least, the point of view for the moment. I choose not to be a hater... it's so counter-productive. Instead, I've chosen to view the world through the eyes of love and hope. As a result, I feel so much better. Don't hate... Cooperate!

King Of Cheese Steaks

History & Recipe for Philadelphia Cheese Steaks

A few days ago, this man (who I can't name here for legal reasons) who runs a steak and hoagie shop in West Philly that I patronize, told me that his great-grandfather was the "King of Cheese Steaks." A strange boast, but okay, if he wants to say that... It's fine with me... It's not like I haven't heard it before.

I have always come into his establishment around lunch time or on a Saturday afternoon and have ordered my personal favorite, a cheese steak hoagie. He uses that thick Italian bread, slathers mayonnaise across the top, spreads lettuce across it, drapes freshly cut tomatoes, raw onions, and pickles across it, and then adds the chopped-up steak with Cheese Whiz melted on it to the mix. If you live in this area, you'll find that this is the norm for most of these type establishments.

While I was sitting there waiting, the man's great-grandson (who is about my age) confided to me that his great-grandfather actually invented what has become a Philadelphia staple... the steak sandwich. Of course, I thought... he must be kidding. You can go to any neighborhood in North, South, or West Philadelphia, Roxborough, Manayunk, Mt Airy, or Germantown and find a neighborhood steak and hoagie shop... they will tell you the same thing useless they are Asian, Greek, or Black (because then, they know that you know they are lying).

If you venture to South Street, you'll find places like GENO's, Jim's Steaks, and Pat Oliveri's House of Steaks that will brag that they make the best cheese steaks in Philadelphia and their owner is the true"King of Cheese Steaks". This is all debatable. So, I asked this guy to tell me the story of how his great-grandfather invented the steak sandwich and this is what he said.

He told me that his great-grandfather, an Italian immigrant, had a hot dog stand down near the docks, which is now known as "Penn's Landing". Several other men had hot dog stands down there, competing for the dollars of the longshoremen, bricklayers, etc. His great-grandfather needed something to give his stand an edge over the other hot dog stands so, he brought some steaks with him one day, cut them up a little bit, and tossed them on his grill. He cooked the chopped up steak and tossed it onto a hoagie roll. The smell of the steak brought some curious customers over to his hot dog stand and voila! The steak sandwich was born! A little later, he melted some sharp cheese, added that to his steak sandwich and thus, the cheese steak was born.

Of course, this is a preposterous story and very much like the one Pat Oliveri III (of Pat's House of Steaks) told me once. Needless to say, I think I believe Pat Oliveri. I don't believe that this guy's great-grandfather invented the cheese steak but, I do believe that "somebody" probably invented the cheese steak the way the told it and the story just got passed around and embellished over time. Like the fish story about the fish that got away, the fish gets bigger each time the story is retold.

Don't get me wrong... it's a great story to hear while you're munching on a cheese steak, some french fries, and drinking a Coke. Of course, these are all of the things that you're not supposed to be eating because, unlike when you were 17 years old and reed thin, you're not reed thin now and the weight will stay on you and make you ashamed to look at yourself in the mirror sometimes. (At age 17, I was 6' 1+1/2" and 146 pounds... today, I'm about 215 pounds.)
Anyway, I asked the man who was telling me this story why his great-grandfather didn't go and get a patent? Why is the family still working in the three steak shops that they owned and, more importantly, why they all weren't swimming in dough right about now? Then, he told me another preposterous story about how his great-grandfather was basically swindled out of his "invention" by the owner of one of the steak shops I mentioned above. Not Likely.

Hmmm, this story is still suspect... but, still a great story to hear when you're eating and not thinking about health and weight issues. So, who really invented the cheese steak sandwich? Who is really the "King of Cheese Steaks"? I don't know... but, I'd love to thank him/her for a great eating idea.
(Can anyone from the Baltimore-DC area tell me about your famous Pit Beef sandwich? Believe it or not, I actually came close to having one when I attended my cousin's engagement party a few weeks ago but, the food was catered so, I didn't have the pleasure. I'd love to hear about it. Holla back!)

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Update: After completing this post, a funny thing happened when I did the image search for a cheese steak... I actually stumbled upon the true history of the cheese steak and it looks like Pat was telling the truth!

New Obama Website

www.change.gov

Throughout the Presidential Transition Project, this website will be your source for the latest news, events, and announcements so that you can follow the setting up of the Obama Administration. And just as this historic campaign was, from the beginning, about you, the transition process will offer you opportunities to participate in redefining our government. Come back often as we define new programs and possibilities to engage and be part of this administration.

(This website was launched a few days after the presidential election, in addition to the previous Obama-Biden campaign website already in existence. The above descriptor is an excerpt from the new website. Stop by, check it out, spread the word, and stay informed. You can click on the screenshot or text link underneath to get there.)

My Election Week Playlist

I told another blogger (I believe it was The F%$k it List) that I might take an I-Pod filled with music to the polls with me to get me "in a voting mood". Well, I didn't... but, if I had done that, here is what I would have loaded...

1. "A Change Is Gonna Come" by Sam Cooke
You gotta ask why? This has been playing all week, everywhere I've gone in reference to this election.

2. "What's Goin' On?" by Marvin Gaye
This is another song that I've been hearing all week and one that applies. I'd like to ask all of those disappointed McCain supporters who booed at his concession speech, "Hey haters, what's goin' on?"

3. "Party For Your Right To Fight" by Public Enemy
This little known Public Enemy song is what I played on my discman, just as I was getting ready to go to the polls to vote. It got me hyped. (It's on the CD, "It takes A Nation Of Millions To Hold Us Back.")

4. "If You're Out There" by John Legend
It's the last song on his new cd, "Evolver", and it's a beautiful tribute to the Obama campaign and the promise of a new day in America.

5. "Dirt Off Your Shoulder" by Jay Z
This says it all. The right-wingers threw everything but the kitchen sink at my man Obama and he proved to be cooler than crushed ice. He just smiled and brushed the dirt off of his shoulder. (He's a much better man than I!)

6. "You Can Have Whatever You Like" by T.I.
This one has nothing to do with politics. I just like it, that's all. Somebody was playing it in their car while I was in line at the polls and I kinda sorta danced with these girls younger than my daughter (yet, old enough to vote) who were in the line.

7. "Ball of Confusion" by The Temptations
You gotta ask?

8. "WAR" by Edwin Starr
Enuff said on this one.

9. "I know I Can" by NAS
One of the most inspiring hip-hop songs I've ever heard.

10. "Chocolate City" by Parliament
"Gainin' on ya!" because now, DC truly is Chocolate City... Three Musketeers anybody?

Have a great weekend people!

Into The Night

After work yesterday, my wife and I went to a mini-mall to return some clothes she had purchased the day before for our grandson. Apparently, the sizes were wrong and she was exchanging them for the correct size. After she finished exchanging the clothes, we decided to walk over to a nearby Wendy's and grab a bite to eat. Here of late, every fast food spot I go into is a haven for bums and this one was no different. A young man who didn't look as though he had his first shave yet, propositioned me for some "spare change to buy a sandwich" almost as soon as I stepped in the line.

Lately, I've had a soft spot for the homeless and the destitute so, I reached in my pocket and gave him four quarters. As I handed him the quarters, I noticed that he already had a couple of dollars crumpled up into his hands. That was okay, because the cheapest burger in Wendy's is about $ 3.67 plus tax so, I know that a dollar wasn't going to buy him anything. I could halfway appreciate that he was hustling for a meal but, the young man didn't stay in line. He walked to the back of the store, faced the window, and appeared to be counting his money. It was then that my wife said to me, "You know he's not going to buy a sandwich with your money, don't you? But, that's okay... the Lord will bless you anyway because he knows your heart was in the right place."

The young man then approached a woman coming in the store with the same line he used on me. She looked at him as though he was out of his mind and kept walking. I'm sure his pride, his ego, and sense of manhood was wounded being blown off like that so to cover it up, he laughed a loud maniacal laugh as though it didn't really bother him... the laugh of black psychosis in its beginning stages. He came back in the store and approached another patron who, like me, let go of a buck or two. Now satisfied with his take for the night, he then left the Wendy's and crossed the traffic filled boulevard into the night.

My wife and I wondered aloud just what is going to happen to young men like him in the coming years. I said to her that he is going to die on the streets. Bleak, it is, but not hard to see. I don't know his story. I don't know anything about him. But, it was not hard to figure out by the way he moved, the gait, the shake, and the constant moving that he was a substance abuser and he was collecting money, not to eat, but to go and cop. I had seen his type before and a part of me knew who and what he was the minute I first saw him in the line. Perhaps, my wife didn't recognize the signs but, she hasn't been where I've been and hasn't known the type of people I've known.

This guy could possibly be like so many young men I know... a high school drop out and he certainly didn't look like he was working anywhere. He was the kind that is out on the corner early in the morning and still out there when the working folks come home, having done absolutely nothing with their day and having done the same thing today that he did yesterday... nothing.

I'm letting my imagination run wild here because I don't know that... he could've been home from college and bumming money for books for next semester too, I really don't know. But, do you think he would've been that jittery over Freshman Statistics or English Lit? I just thought briefly about yesterday and Obama, who achieved greatness despite all of the odds against him. I also thought about Malcolm X, Dr. King, and other great men. Then, I thought about this young guy who I don't know and who disappeared into the night... seemingly hopeless and futureless. I felt a sadness like I haven't felt in a very long time.

The Day After A Miracle

Wednesday, November 5, 2008: I woke up around 7:30am and the first thing I did was grab the remote on my nightstand and turn on the television. There he was... smiling with that photogenic smile and standing next to his wife, Michelle, with their two daughters in between them. He gave his speech to a throng of people from seemingly all walks of life and all different races. It wasn't a dream... it was true. He really was the President of the United States of America. I didn't just dream this... I really did witness a miracle the night before.

Barack Obama, a man who is only three years younger than I am... a guy I might have played with or might have sat in a class with. A guy of my generation and age bracket who was the new President of these United States. He is also the first African-American President of the United States. I liked the way this sounds and I savored the moment.

I went to my computer, brought up my blog, and read all of the touching replies to my last two posts. I then went around the blogosphere, commenting and reading everybody's reactions to what just happened. History. I flipped through the channels... CNN, MSNBC, The Today Show, etc. and listened to mostly glowing reviews of the new president and watched scenes of people partying and jumping for joy. These scenes were played out all over the country, of course, but also in places like Kenya, London, Ireland, and Japan... this was unbelievable and I kept hearing people say, "I never thought I'd see this day."

I never thought that I would see this day either. I thought that the first black president would come from my grandson's generation. I had even written off my 27 year old daughter's generation... still too many racists around, I reasoned. I figured that by the time my grandson grew up, most of the hardline racists would be dead and on the wane. Well guess what? That time is now. The people of this country just proved it to me. Those crowds of Whites, Latinos, Blacks, Asians, and Native Americans proved to me that a lot of those old tired racist ideals are on the wane, even now. (The rest of the crazys can go crawl back into their holes now.)

I'm only sorry that my grandparents and both of my parents are no longer living to see this day. There was no way my grandfather, who had to leave the south immediately after he commited the unforgivable sin of having an altercation with a white man in 1917, could conceive of a moment like this. His reality was one of a south where Jim Crow was king and lynching was a national past time. Where southern journalists didn't just say the "n" word... they wrote nigger in their newspapers whenever they felt like it.

My mother, father, and their siblings inherited this same intolerant and racist America... yet, lived to see the Civil Rights movement, the abolishment of segregation, and the establishment of constitutional protection of our basic human rights. My parents lived to see the election of black mayors, senators, congressmen, and governors. They didn't, however, live to see this... a man, who could easily have been one of their children, become the President of the United States.

I know that they died knowing that I would live in a better country than the one they were born into but, WOW... they couldn't have conceived this moment. I hope that wherever they are, they are two stepping on the clouds in celebration, because baby, I'm doin' a two step right now!

The 44th President of the United States of America!

Barack Hussein Obama II

YES WE DID!!!!!!!!!!!

The Results Of Benign Neglect

The Godfather of Soul

Today, I will go to vote. Some people will choose not to vote. Some people will argue that the conditions in the black community have deteriorated to a point where neither Barack Obama or John McCain's presidency will matter. I'm going to surprise everyone here by saying that I agree but, not without explanation. Let's take a look at how we got to this point...

On this day, in the very neighborhood I live in, I have more to fear from someone who looks like me than I do some chucklehead in a white sheet or who wears jackboots and masturbates to posters of Adolph Hitler and Eva Braun. In my community, teen pregnancy and the high school drop out rate runs high, as well as the unemployment rate that has created a generation of hopelessness and apathy.

The apathy and black psychosis that sprung from this comes from people... black people who always seemed to have an excuse for not voting in many elections past and who allowed jackleg politician after politician, (black and white politicians, mind you) to get elected and not be held accountable for what they said they would do. The end result of this is decades of not being respected and not getting any services delivered to our community. No money to the inner city
schools, not enough police protection in our communities, no incentives for colleges and local universities to extend financial aid to inner city youth for schloarships, no lowering of property taxes for first-time home owners or availability of home loans, etc. I'm just giving examples of
how our own apathy led to politicians from both parties ignoring the black community and I am laying this at the feet of the black community.

For years, politicians of both parties knew that we weren't going to come out to vote if it rained or, if they weren't running a black candidate, or if we didn't feel as though this were our country, or any of the other nonsense and excuse-making we as a people have been guilty of. Why should they respect you, since they know you're not going to vote anyway and they know that they can do or not do anything they damn well choose because all you are going to do is bitch and moan and maybe march downtown to protest it? They don't care because they know that black people also have short memories too. We will allow them to come to a few churches, eat some fried chicken, lie about knowing Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr., and everything will be cool. They can get re-elected and spend four more years of doing nothing and our neighborhoods suffer.

It's funny... I go out into the suburbs and I don't see voter registration drives. Do you know why? Because nobody has to tell white people to vote. They come out in droves and they let their elected officials hear it loud and clear when they make a mis-step. They write letters, make phone calls, and send e-mails. They don't care if you came to their church or not... they don't care if you and Ronald Reagan were in a movie together back in the day. They want results for what is ailing them right here, right now and in most cases... they get action.

But, in the Black community, we have to have voter registration drives. We have to explain to some that their right to vote was hard fought for and should not be taken for granted. We have to tell others that this is their country too and that their vote matters, just as much as anybody else's. And, we still have the cynics amongst us who sharply criticize the government and politicians but don't vote. To quote James Brown, that's just "Talkin' loud and sayin' nothin'."

This is not about Barack Obama or John McCain. This is about making the powers that be respect the black vote. For the first time in years, black folk are hopeful, registering in record numbers, and you can best believe that somebody is taking note of this somewhere. I know that right now, voting and political talk is the "in" thing amongst us but, I must stress that we not let it end tomorrow. If we want to be taken seriously, we've got to start today, (no matter who wins) holding politicians responsible for what they say they are going to do.

Neither presidential candidate is a savior and regardless of who wins, your life is not going to be much different for a long time. That will depend on how fast whoever wins gets to changing policies and how much these policies are going to effect how you and I are living. It is in your best interest to stay involved, read newspapers, magazines, blogs, and to continue to voice your opinions through e-mails, letters, phone calls, etc. after the election has been decided.

In closing I'll say this... your benign neglect and their benign neglect means that nothing will ever change. Aren't you tired of nothing ever changing? Then, do something. To quote James Brown again, "Get up, get into it, get involved!"

Your Vote Does Matter!

Photo #1: Three Civil Rights Workers

Some years ago, there was a brilliant PBS Television mini-series called "Eyes On The Prize: America's Civil Rights Years 1954-1965." The series has a companion book that came along with it, filled with photographs and commentary about that period in American history and those heroic black people who took to the streets, got arrested, got beaten, and in some cases got killed trying to get equal rights and, more importantly, voting rights for blacks and all racial and ethnic minorities in this country.

I wish I had a copy of this book for all of those people who feel as though their vote doesn't matter. It certainly mattered to somebody. If your vote didn't matter, nobody would have been murdered to make sure that you were too scared to vote. If your vote didn't matter, then that travesty in Florida in the year 2000 would have never been attempted. Clearly your vote does matter... it matters a lot.

Photo #2: Medgar Evers Funeral

In particular, when I read about Mississippi and how hard they resisted voting rights for African-Americans. Much to my surprise, I learned that African-Americans actually out numbered whites in many of the counties in parts of Mississippi and, if allowed to vote, they could have voted all of those redneck sheriffs and the white "Citizen's Council" members out of power. This is why the Ku Klux Klan (KKK) and the white "Citizen's Council" fought so hard, even resorting to murder, to run the large African-American population away from the polls. Your vote does matter... it mattered to somebody if they were willing to bomb churches, snatch three guys (Photo #1: Goodman, Chaney, and Schwerner) off the street and murder them, burn people's houses down, and assassinate two NAACP leaders (Photo #2: Medgar Evers and Photo #3: Vernon Dahmer).

Photo #3: Vernon Dahmer's Home Firebombed

As I leaf through this book and look at the photos of all those brave people... black and white, young and old... who risked their lives riding into foreign territory so that I could vote, it fills me with both pride and gratitude. I know that I wrote a post something like this before but, I can't stress enough how important it is that your voice be heard by tomorrow. I know that some people have already voted and I applaud them. I am most certainly going to vote tomorrow because I'm an American citizen, it's my right to vote, and it's the way to make my opinion heard. I can rage on and on on this blog and that's cool... but, my vote will most definitely make my opinion known and go toward exacting that change.

People are afraid of change. They are afraid of the masses of free people having some say in their government... that's why they fight so hard to crush any dissent. There is a fellow blogger now being held under virtual house arrest in Nigeria because he has dared challenge the position of that country's government. Here we are... able to assemble freely, vote, and blog... and some of us don't want to take advantage of that opportunity.

Vote tomorrow. Freedom ain't free. There are several people lying in their graves now who might still be alive and who gave their lives so that all of us could vote. If you don't do it for any other reason, do it for them. They gave so much and it's an insult to their memories not to vote.

Old Betsy

1970 Ford Fairlane

2008 Lexus

My frat brother, JD, had a 1970 Ford Fairlane when we were in college. I don't care if it was winter or summer... he would put the key in the ignition, start that car up, and have to wait about ten minutes before it would kick in gear and we could actually go anywhere. When he turned the ignition off, the car would stutter and shake from side to side for a minute before actually shutting down. JD was one of two brothers on my pledge line that had a car back then.

Many guys refer to their cars by women's names (at least they did in the late 70's and early 80's) and he always referred to his car as "Old Betsy". He'd say, "Don't worry about "Old Betsy"... she'll make the trip." And, she did..."Old Betsy" got us through 15 mad crazy weeks of pledging. She also got me and JD up and down the highways of Central Pennsylvania through Southeastern Pennsylvania and back many, many times.

Of course, you know us being guys, we clowned JD about his car every chance we got and some of the jokes were so cruel that even I... with my no car, no drivers license having self, had to laugh. JD would always retort, "That's alright, y'all rode in my car, didn't you?" He was right. When we needed to make a food run, it was "Old Betsy" that took us into town and back. When we wanted to visit another campus because there was either a party or someone had pledges, it was "Old Betsy" that drove us, sometimes six or seven deep to our destination.

My other frat brother, "Hollywood" had a Red Firebird and he wasn't as free with his car. You had to be wearing a skirt to ride with him. JD told me once, "That's alright brother, one day when I have my MBA. I'm gonna be living large and y'all won't be laughing at what I'll be pushin' then." So, let's flash forward to now...

JD made good on his promise. He got his MBA and has a cushy job for the federal government. He is married to a beautiful AKA sister who also has an MBA and is doing pretty good for herself. I went to visit them a couple of weeks ago. They are one of only three black couples that live in a cul de sac in a tony part of the Roxborough section of Philadelphia. They have a gorgeous home and in their garage, they have matching black Lexuses. His has the Kappa Alpha Psi plate on the back and hers has the Alpha Kappa Alpha plate on the back. This is the only way you can tell the difference between the two cars.

Well, sitting out in front of their home in that neighborhood is... you guessed it... "Old Betsy". He still has that car and he said that he had it completely rehabbed... new engine, new everything... and it runs like a charm. I asked him why he still had that car after all these years and he said something profound... "That was my first car, good brother (he always calls me that) and it's a reminder to me of where I was in case I ever get a big head and think I'm more than what I actually am. Keeping this car, keeps me humble and I always want to remember to be that... humble."

And, I always want to remember the lesson he just taught me.

Phillies "Parade Of Champions"

On Friday, October 31st, the fans came from near (inner city and surrounding suburbs) and far (New Jersey and Delaware) to celebrate and participate in what looked to be one of the largest parades in Philadelphia history. These photos in no way do justice to the number of people who came to Center City and lined the streets, perched on windowsills, and climbed on rooftops just to (in some cases, depending on where you were) merely catch a glimpse of our "Fightin' Phils" champions and that World Series trophy.

The parade was scheduled to begin at 12:00pm but, people were heading into Center City all morning to claim a piece of the sidewalk along the parade route as their own. It began at 20th & Market Streets with a slow cruise to City Hall, a turn onto South Broad Street, and it ended at the Citizens Bank Park, home of the Phillies. When they got to the ball park 100,000 more fans were waiting there to greet and receive them as well. It was rumored that so many people traveled into the city from the suburbs to see the parade, our regional rail system had to stop taking them inbound around 1:00pm so they could begin to prepare the trains for the outbound commute.

It wasn't a very productive day for the few diehard "workaholics" who stayed in their offices and tried to get a little work done while all the pandemonium was going on outside. Some of them eventually gave up and tried to come out onto the street to join the festivities. By that time, imagine their surprise when they discovered that there were so many people lining the sidewalks, they couldn't even get out of the door of their office building! On Thursday evening, it was declared on the news that schools would (in fact) be open on Friday, with the exception of ten schools that were located along the parade route. Of course, parents were encouraged to send their kids to school. (Yeah, right!) Scores of school-aged children, along with their parents, and teenagers were out 'n' about so, there wasn't much going on in the classrooms either... but, things were exactly as they should've been.

No, yesterday was special. It was intended to be a day set aside for a grateful city to take pause and honor the team who not only took us to the mountain but, finally climbed over it and brought home a championship. Many years have gone by since the Phillies won their last championship back in 1980, which was their first and only championship prior to this one. It was the year before our daughter was born and she is now 27 years old with a 2+1/2 year old child of her own... that's how long its been. Philadelphia is a city that was hungry for a championship (any championship), we FINALLY got one, and we celebrated big time!

So, please excuse us if we didn't show up for work or go to school yesterday... the work and lesson plans aren't going anywhere and will still be there waiting for all of us on Monday morning. But, THIS only happens when it happens and you've got to seige the moment when it does... right then, right there, or it is gone forever. This was definitely the type of event that you want to experience at least once in your lifetime and be able to tell your children, grandchildren, and great-grandchildren (if you're truly blessed)... "I WAS THERE!"

It was estimated that 2 million people attended the parade.