Tuesday, November 11, 2008

Hi Hater!


In order to understand the nature of hate, you have to know what it's like to be a hater. In the course of a lifetime, all of us (if we are honest) have been a hater. A great majority of us have been victimized by haters but, at least one or two times, we have been guilty of the same thing ourselves... (again, if we are honest).

When I use the term "hate", I'm basically talking about jealousy and envy and I believe that it's impossible to have never felt these two strong emotions for something or someone. I wrote a post a couple of weeks ago about how I was envious of someone who was living the life I had always wanted for myself. This was a mild form of "hate" without the maliciousness... it was more an envious type of thing. One of the Ten Commandments tells us that we should not covet, meaning simply that you shouldn't want something that is not yours. However, the lines get blurred a lot of times. Here is an example of wanting something that is no longer yours...

I was involved with a young lady once who abruptly (I thought) broke off our relationship. I don't think we had stopped seeing each other a good week before I saw her with another guy... a guy who I had been pretty cool with and who knew that I was seeing this young lady. I made my self sick with the hateration that I spread. I said some of the nastiest things about the girl, who I professed to love just a few weeks before, and I saved my most vilest comments for the guy, who had been considered a friend or at least, cool with me before I saw him with the girl. I talked to anyone who would listen about how "corny" the guy was, how she would never be happy with him, and how he would never do the things I did for her. For a week, I was consumed with their lives... so consumed that I didn't have a life of my own anymore. I was too caught up in what they were doing.

See that's the thing about haters... they are so worried about the object of their hate that they can't enjoy life and they can't get anything of their own going on. In many cases, the object of their hate is not even aware that they feel this way and, if they are aware... if they are smart... they don't concern themselves with it and the hater is the one wasting his or her time in the end.

A friend of mine at the time, "Loose Goose", (Okay, you can stop laughing... that actually was his nickname... a great reason why you should just say no to drugs.) was sitting in his car with me one night. He was smoking a big fat turbo joint yet, talking and making a lot of sense. I was going on and on about the girl and the guy and he said simply, "Man, you are blowin' my high and if you got high, you'd understand what I was talking about." He said that too but, the main thing he said was, "All this energy you're spendin' worryin' about them, you could be puttin' towards findin' a new girl 'cause neither one of them look like they care about you right now."

That was one of those truths that was so real, it couldn't be argued. Once I looked at it that way, I stopped getting myself so worked up. I stopped focusing on my broken heart and my wounded pride and started focusing on doing something to make myself feel better. Once I found some joy in my own life, my hateration ended and I was able to move on.

That's the thing about hate, it can literally make you physically sick and it's never worth the energy that people put into it. I have read about people going to work the day after the election and getting evil stares and gritting teeth from McCain-Palin supporters. Why? What was a minute of that going to get any of them? It's an election... it's not the end of the world. Their lives are not going to change that much too soon. If anything, they ought to be saying, "thank you" but, that's another topic for another blog post.

Since I've been a hater, I understand the logic of the hater somewhat or, at least, the point of view for the moment. I choose not to be a hater... it's so counter-productive. Instead, I've chosen to view the world through the eyes of love and hope. As a result, I feel so much better. Don't hate... Cooperate!

20 comments:

Somebodies Friend said...

I have just been super frustrated, I don't mean to come off as a hater.

When everything I touch falls apart, I start wondering what tyhe hell I am doing wrong, because what I am doing isn't working, and I am at a complete loss as to what to do about it.

I only come across as a hater when I am lonely and scared, I have been praying and praying and praying and all I get is more games that the ladies seem to want to play.

I am just scared!

PEACE

Kin'shar said...

who hating??

ZACK said...

Did I inspire you on this post as well? *wink*

Just kidding! I think there's been just as much hate going around this week as love. People just can't thank God for what he's doing FOR OTHER PEOPLE! In fact, when we thank God for what he's doing for others- we are just practicing for our own time to be blessed. That's why we shouldn't even acknowledge haters, but rather JESUS who is the LOVER of our souls.

Mizrepresent said...

Why hate? It's just a waste of energy. It's totally unproductive. You said, all of us at one time have hated on someone, and i tried my best to think of a situation or person i hated on for no reason...well i did hate on Marsha B, but that was because she walked off with my soon to be boyfriend at my Sweet 16 party...yeah i may have hated on her, but i thought i had good reason, lol, plus she was always dressed cute, hair was perfect, could dance really well, but none of that had to do with the hate, feel me, lol.

It's not something i'm known to do, so i don't do it. Growing up i was always the popular one, the girl upfront, the smart one, etc...so i grew up being hated on from Junior High through College. My character was strengthened by the hate i subjected to. Now "hateration" just rolls off my back.

Toni said...

Hating is non-productive, I'm like Mizrepresent..I just let it roll off my shoulders.

Angie B. said...

Don't hate me cause I'm Sexy.lolol

Lisa said...

lololol @ angie b.
lol@ "Don't Hate-Co-operate"

Grover Tha Playboy said...

Hey Keith, you jacked my saying but it's all good..it relates to the post. Great post.

lol@Angie B- "Don't Hate me cause I'm sexy." That was a riot.lolol.

James Perkins said...

Good Post Brother, I Like the fact that you work out your own issues on this blog..I appreciate your openness.

Simon Bastion said...

Another good post Keith...I want to piggyback on what James said..
I like you willingness to always look inward.

Sunflower said...

Standing and applauding you good
brother-lolol...(I thought that might make you laugh.)

tate2 said...

Hate does the hater more harm than it does it's intended victim. A good point.

Opinionated Diva said...

Lmao @ your friend saying you're ruining his high!!

I think hating in a mild form can actually motivate a person to strive for the things/life they want but hating so much that you make yourself sick rarely has a good outcome...definitely counterproductive!

Shanita Waters said...

Awesome post! you're right, we've all been haters at one point in time or another. I think that once we realize that no one cares that we are hating makes it evident to us that we're only hurting ourselves and most of all looking stupid.

It's a good thing your friend kept it real with you. Some people become so engrossed with envy that they spend their whole lives trying to get even and realize one day that they've wasted too much time and energy on people that care nothing about them. Then that's when they move from being a hater to hateful. It's an ugly thing...

Raven said...

"Only love can conquer hate"
Marvin Gaye

T. Michelle Theus said...

SOOOOOOOO true! When I was younger I used to hate on any female friends of this guy I had a crush on. I knew it was crazy so I never publicly hated on them but inside I was consumed with picking them apart. lol That's why I know that hateration comes from insecurity and insecurity is something that has to be worked on from the inside out. Thank God for maturity=p Great post :)

The F$%K it List said...

The need not to "Hate" definitely comes with maturity. It really comes down to not imposing your look on life on everyone.

The F$%K it List said...

oh i had to come back over here to wave my finger at you!

I'm fine with Beyonce, she isn't really my type of music. I just don't like that scary glove.

Keith said...

@F%$K it List-lololololol

R. Fitzgerald said...

What's up bruh. Unfortunately, I've been down that nasty road and I avoid it at all costs now.




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