Grown Man Rambling

I have a birthday coming up in a few days (Tuesday to be exact) and today as I write this, I was doing something I rarely ever do. I was taking time to think and take stock of where I've been and where I am. I'm sure that most people don't do this. Who has the time, right?

One of the things I like about the blogs that I read is how personal and how introspective a lot of the posts are. I have read some incredibly raw and personal blog posts that have just blown my mind and made me want to tighten up my game. Unfortunately, for you the reader, you're not about to read one of them. This is just me riffing. This post came about because of two things that happened to me while I was driving today...

First, I offered a ride to a young lady I know who was waiting for the bus. I was on my way home after coming from the barber shop. Picking her up was a big mistake. She railed on and on about the break-up of her latest relationship the entire time I was driving. I hear this stuff everyday at work from different people. On any given Friday night, if I stop at a local establishment to get some food and hear a little music, women in my age bracket are complaining about how hard it is to find a "good man" out here. I don't doubt that and I feel for a lot of them.

It's just that, I don't feel like hearing it since I can't do anything to help them and anything resembling advice that I give them, almost always falls on deaf ears. She went on and on about how terrible this guy was and how the woman he is with is a "young strumpet" (her words) "who lets him do anything he wants to do." Finally, I said to her in as nice a way as I possibly could, "You know, you're sitting here fuming and foaming at the mouth over this guy and his new girlfriend and they are probably somewhere having a good time, not giving you a second thought. How pathetic is that and how pathetic are you? What you ought to do is get dressed up, go out, have yourself a good time, and not give them a second thought. At least, you would be even."

She didn't really want to hear it and she told me that it was easy for me to say that because "you've been married for like-forever". I told her that even when I wasn't married, I didn't fume over anyone too long. I usually found a way to have a good time and keep it pushing. She got out of my car and said to me rather snidely, "Oh gee, if everyone could be you." I didn't take it personally. In fact, I probably deserved it. This is another reason why I didn't feel like hearing it. She then said to me in parting, "I wish I could have been married as long as you have. You don't know how good you got it." Actually, I do.

Later, as the afternoon turned to nightfall, I drove to the gas station and my cell phone went off. It was a guy I know. From the background sounds, I could hear that he was in a club... a hip-hop club. The same club that the radio station I was listening to was broadcasting from. This guy, who is 50 years old (like myself), is in a club with women in their 20's and 30's, flirting and dancing with them. I know I sound like I'm hating but, I'll tell you all something that I said when I was 23 years old and partying pretty hard. I always said that when I got past 40, I was not going to be the "old man in the club", still chasing women the age of my children. Me and my friends used to laugh at people "that old" trying to hang with us and do what we were doing. One thing I didn't want to do was be the joke myself. In between 18 and 39 years of age, I represented as well as anyone in the game... I don't think I have anything to prove to myself or anybody else as far as that's concerned. I can close the book on that part of my life now.

I laughed and talked with him but, it was so loud in the club that I couldn't hear him and he couldn't hear me. I told him to have a good time and hung up. Don't get me wrong, I like to have a good time as much as the next person. I will go out to eat, go to spots where a live band is playing, and have a drink or two... but, I can't see myself hanging out with young ladies my daughter's age or younger and trying to hit on them on top of that. For one thing, I don't have to. Second, I really, really shouldn't, if you know what I mean? Third, I haven't a clue as to what kind of dances the young people are doing today. Wow, I even sound like I got my extreme "grown man" on. Did you just read that?

Right now, I'm just happy to be where I'm at, acting my age, and not having too much to complain about. That may not sound like much but, I know at least two people who might agree.