Weekend Humor

Neck Jokes-

1.There were some backwoods hillbillies living across the river from each other, who feuded constantly. John hated Clarence with a passion and never passed up a chance to throw rocks across the river at Clarence. This went on for years until one day the Corps of Engineers came to build a bridge across that river. 

John was elated; he told his wife that finally he was going to get the chance to cross over and whip Clarence. He left the house and returned in a matter of minutes. 

His wife asked what was wrong, didn't he intend to go over the bridge and whip Clarence? He replied that he never had really seen Clarence up close and didn't realize his size until he started over the bridge and saw the sign: "CLEARANCE 8 FT 3 IN"


2. There is a Redneck Cop sleeping in his cruiser one night. All of a sudden he is awakened by a loud crash. The cop gets out of his car and walks up the road a piece when he notices a car in the ditch.

 "Damn" he says, "There's a car in the ditch!" He takes out his notebook and writes "car in D-I-T-C-H" for his report. He walked up the road a bit further and notices another car in the ditch. So he writes "another car in ditch....D-I-T-C-H" for his report. 

The cop decides to head back to his car to make the report when he notices a head in the middle of the boulevard. "Damn, somebody's head's in the middle of the boulevard!"  

He gets out his notebook again and begins writing "head in middle of" Then he thinks, boulevard? "B-O..." no, no "B-U..." "Aww hell" he says and he kicks the head into the ditch "D-I-T-C-H".


3. Q: What do a redneck divorce and a tornado have in common?

A: Either way somebody loses a trailer home!


Everybody have a super groovy weekend!