Friday, December 19, 2008

Within My Own Universe


I like people. I like socializing with people... that feeling of connection. People inspire me, give me ideas, and energy. I feed off of other people like a vampire feeds off of the blood of unsuspecting mortals. If you scroll down this page and look at my ever growing blogroll, you'll see that is quite obvious.

Yet, there are times when I don't wish to be bothered with people, when I wish to be my own partner for the night. There are times when I long to live within my own universe and there is nothing wrong with that because we all need "me" time to do whatever. They used to call that a "mental health" day at my job. Mostly women take these days and guys use the day off to get some extra sleep.

I asked several of my female friends what they did on their day off and they told me that they would hook up with a few of their girlfriends or just one girlfriend to get their nails and toenails done at the spa, go shopping, and maybe have lunch or something. For them, that sounds great but for me and most guys I know, that is not how we get down on our day off. I would usually sleep late, get up, shave, shower, get dressed, go to the barber shop alone (I wasn't thinking about checking for anybody), go to the bookstore, have some coffee, and browse the new magazines and books.

When I was a little younger, I would get involved in a couple of pick up games of basketball at the playground, if there was a good one going. It's funny how you can always find some un-employed guys (or guys playing hooky from school) at the playground but, not in the library or the bookstore. We gotta work on that people.

I'm with my family six out of seven days a week but, Friday is my night for "being out in the street" and hanging out with my friends. My father had a "night" too... it was Wednesday. On Wednesday night, my mother didn't cook a big dinner because he was coming home late. So, usually me and my brother had hot dogs or hamburgers on that night. It was fun to us. My father always told us that when we grew up and got married, to always "take one night and make it your own." A night to hang with your friends... a night for release from everything... a night to do you. He didn't say those words but, that's what he meant. Wednesday was his night to live in his own universe, away from us and just do what he wanted to do.

On the other hand, my mother never had a "night" (not to my knowledge). She was with us all the time and on the weekends, she was with him. They went out to dinner and clubs without us but, what I'm saying is, she never had a night to call her own... just to kick it with any of her girlfriends, if she had any. I realize now how little I really knew about my mom's social life. She did have her sisters and they would get on the phone, call back and forth, and have something like a party going on. It's a shame they didn't have conference calling... the four of them would've had an even better time.

I often wonder about my wife. She doesn't appear to have a night either. She's never asked for one or rather taken one (she doesn't need my permission to go out and have fun) but, more than me or our daughter, she seems to live within her own universe, even amongst all of us... not an easy thing to do. Anyone who has a family knows how demanding living with other people can be. Everybody needs their time yet, she does this well and manages to amuse herself and is content with herself not being the social animal. In that way, she is different from her husband.

It's amazing how we as individuals balance our social universes and our private universes. I somehow think that women balance this a little healthier and certainly more imaginatively than we men. It remains a mystery to me just how they do it so well.

24 comments:

James Perkins said...

Very Thought provoking Keith.

Toni said...

Wow Keith, That's why I love this blog, you always give me something to think on.

Angie B. said...

Hey Keith,It's No mystery, didn't you know we women were all that and a bag of chips?-lolololol.

Sunflower said...

@Angie B.-lololololol, but still,I have to agree with her.

Simon Bastion said...

Very Thought Provoking Post Keith

Lisa said...

Uh Oh, you got deep on us keith-lololol,Good Post.

Black And Single said...

being socialize is fun but at certain extent

Vanessa said...

We all need "a night" sometimes...
Some of us need a couple of nights and days-lolol.

Halo said...

Always Thought Provoking and challenging insights Keith.

Grover Tha Playboy said...

"Live the Life you got...Love the life you live..FO sho.

Tate 2 said...

I always take a day off and I do the same thing you said bruh, sleep
til noon, go to the Barber Shop and get in a pick up game..

Jazzy said...

On My day off, I sleep late, get up make me some breakfast, read the paper and listen to some music on the ipod dock..Don't go out unless I have to..That's just me.
Good post brother.

Swaggie said...

I loved this post..I go to the gym on my day off..I get up early and go..Guess that makes me the minority of all of the guys.

Qucifer said...

I SO am on borad with this one friend!!! Let me tell you I'm sociable, and make fast friends with just about everyone and have us a good gut spillage within a short period of time.... but I LOVE lOVE LOVE my alone-not-getting-out -of-the-house-or-dressed-for -nothing weekends... sometimes I spend weeks were all I do besides work and take care of the dog is minimal interactions with others and that just makes it feel soooo good when I go back out there to deal with people!

Oyin said...

AWWW YOUR SO SO SWEET...your wife will get her own day when shes ready...


*formally Kin'shar

Shai said...

Hey Keith. I just stopped by to say thanks for sharing on blog. It helps MORE than you know.

Shai said...

Keith, I am more like your wife. A homebody. Alot of folks don't get it. I used to date a guy who was VERY social and he tried to get me to go have a night to myself. Now, I have at least one nite to myself once a month. I like chilling at home more though. Yet, I can party my butt off when I do get out with the girls. LOL.

Thoughts of a Southern gal said...

I try to have my day off just to do me at least once a month. Some days I just like sleeping late and lounging around in my pjs.

Mizrepresent said...

Oh how i love my ALONE time. On my days off, i sleep late, clean the house, listen to music, dance in front of the mirror, pour me some wine, and read blogs...this is so wonderful to me! Then again i also like to watch movies...Dude has his day, i'm already beginning to see it...his day is Friday, he likes to hangout with his friends. It's cool with me though, really, then Saturday he wants to hang out with me...problem is, my girlz can't hang out on Friday anymore and want to hang out on SAT...well, i finally found a way to hang with the girlz and HIM...so all is good! Enjoy yourself Keith and don't worry about your wife too much...she is doing exactly what she wants to do!

CurvyGurl said...

Maybe I have too much testosterone (or am wishy washy) 'cause I feel ya on this.

I'm worried that I like to do my own thing a little too much though.

LadyLee said...

"It's amazing how we as individuals balance our social universes and our private universes."

The key is balance. And we do need it, and we all get it in our own little ways...

One weekend a month to myself... I get that, and I am quite the happy Oldgirl.

Kofi Bofah said...

We all need a little downtime and space.

What city is that in the pic?

Toronto?

Strongblkwmn said...

As you already know, i'm a lot like your wife. I'm definitely in my own universe. I spend most of my time out with my husband. I am so into my "me time." It's my writer's spirit.

Keith said...

@Kofi-Actuall,it's Seattle.

@Strong Black Woman- I keep meeting woman in the Blogoverse that are just like my wife..lolololololol...That's a good thing.Means I meet a lot of good women.




KEEPING THE FAITH: RANDOM PRAYERS "ON THE DOWNLOAD"
























































"Mommy, can I go to Timmy's blog and play?"



































Click on image to enlarge for reading






Click on image to enlarge for reading



Click on image to enlarge for reading