Within My Own Universe

I like people. I like socializing with people... that feeling of connection. People inspire me, give me ideas, and energy. I feed off of other people like a vampire feeds off of the blood of unsuspecting mortals. If you scroll down this page and look at my ever growing blogroll, you'll see that is quite obvious.

Yet, there are times when I don't wish to be bothered with people, when I wish to be my own partner for the night. There are times when I long to live within my own universe and there is nothing wrong with that because we all need "me" time to do whatever. They used to call that a "mental health" day at my job. Mostly women take these days and guys use the day off to get some extra sleep.

I asked several of my female friends what they did on their day off and they told me that they would hook up with a few of their girlfriends or just one girlfriend to get their nails and toenails done at the spa, go shopping, and maybe have lunch or something. For them, that sounds great but for me and most guys I know, that is not how we get down on our day off. I would usually sleep late, get up, shave, shower, get dressed, go to the barber shop alone (I wasn't thinking about checking for anybody), go to the bookstore, have some coffee, and browse the new magazines and books.

When I was a little younger, I would get involved in a couple of pick up games of basketball at the playground, if there was a good one going. It's funny how you can always find some un-employed guys (or guys playing hooky from school) at the playground but, not in the library or the bookstore. We gotta work on that people.

I'm with my family six out of seven days a week but, Friday is my night for "being out in the street" and hanging out with my friends. My father had a "night" too... it was Wednesday. On Wednesday night, my mother didn't cook a big dinner because he was coming home late. So, usually me and my brother had hot dogs or hamburgers on that night. It was fun to us. My father always told us that when we grew up and got married, to always "take one night and make it your own." A night to hang with your friends... a night for release from everything... a night to do you. He didn't say those words but, that's what he meant. Wednesday was his night to live in his own universe, away from us and just do what he wanted to do.

On the other hand, my mother never had a "night" (not to my knowledge). She was with us all the time and on the weekends, she was with him. They went out to dinner and clubs without us but, what I'm saying is, she never had a night to call her own... just to kick it with any of her girlfriends, if she had any. I realize now how little I really knew about my mom's social life. She did have her sisters and they would get on the phone, call back and forth, and have something like a party going on. It's a shame they didn't have conference calling... the four of them would've had an even better time.

I often wonder about my wife. She doesn't appear to have a night either. She's never asked for one or rather taken one (she doesn't need my permission to go out and have fun) but, more than me or our daughter, she seems to live within her own universe, even amongst all of us... not an easy thing to do. Anyone who has a family knows how demanding living with other people can be. Everybody needs their time yet, she does this well and manages to amuse herself and is content with herself not being the social animal. In that way, she is different from her husband.

It's amazing how we as individuals balance our social universes and our private universes. I somehow think that women balance this a little healthier and certainly more imaginatively than we men. It remains a mystery to me just how they do it so well.