Weekend Humor

Boycott Inauguration Day!!

I plan to!

I Don't Hate Donald Trump But.....

In A Nutshell

This is what I try to explain to people!

You Want My Tolerance? (You've Gotta Be Kidding)

(I didn't write this...but I could have...)

I listened as you called my President a Muslim, as though there was something wrong with that.
I listened as you called him and his family a pack of monkeys.
I listened as you said he wasn't born here.
I watched as you blocked every single path to progress that you could.
I saw the pictures you made of him as Hitler.
I watched you shut down the government and hurt the entire nation, twice.
I watched you turn your backs on every opportunity to open a worthwhile dialog.
I watched you say that you would not even listen to any choice for Supreme Court no matter who the nominee was.
I listened as you openly said that you will oppose him at every turn.
I watched as you did just that.
I listened.
I watched.
I paid attention.
Now, I'm being called on to be tolerant.
To move forward.
To denounce protesters.
To "Get over it."
To accept this...
I will not.
I will do my part to make sure, this great American mistake, becomes the embarrassing footnote of our history that it deserves to be.
I will do this as quickly as possible, every chance I get.
I will do my part to limit the damage that this man can do to my country.
I will watch his every move and point out every single mistake and misdeed in a loud and proud voice.
I will let you know in a loud voice every time this man backs away from a promise he made to you.
The people who voted for him. Yes you, the ones who sold their souls and prayed for him to win.
I will do this so that you never forget.
And you will hear me.
You will see it in my eyes when I look at you.
You will hear it in my voice when I talk to you.
You will know that I know who you are.
You will know that I know what you are.
Do not call for my tolerance. I've tolerated all I can.
Now it's your turn to tolerate the ridicule.
Be aware, make no mistake about it, every single thing that goes wrong in our country from this day
forward is now Trump's fault just as much as you thought it was Obama's.
I find it unreasonable for you to expect from me, what you were entirely unwilling to give."
Author unknown.

MERRY CHRISTMAS

Are You Happy Now?

An Insurance Lesson

Weekend Humor

The train was travelling along when a beautiful young woman entered the compartment which was deserted except for a businessman reading his paper.

The man peered over his paper and asked "Would you let me kiss you for fifty dollars?" 
 
"Certainly not!" exclaimed the young woman, and the businessman returned to his paper.

A short while later he looked across again and said "Would you let me kiss you for a thousand dollars?" 
 
After a brief pause, the woman replied "Yes, I suppose I would." 
 
Again the man returned to his newspaper. 

A few minutes later the man asked "Would you let me kiss you for five dollars?" 

"Certainly not!" replied the young woman, getting angry now 

 "Five bucks! What kind of girl do you take me for?" she asked.

"We've already established that" replied the man, "We're just haggling over the price!"

HAVE A SEXALICIOUS WEEKEND!

We Are About to find Out

Outrage, What Outrage?

I heard a rumor that Vladmir Putin , who is said to be a great crooner has agreed to sing at President Elect Donald Trump's inauguration in a few weeks.


Yeah, Vladmir Putin has released the lists of songs he will be singing at Trump's innauguration in a few weeks...He's starting out with "Strangers in The Night.." I heard him sing this at rehearsals and I must say...except for the heavy accent..He sounds almost like Sinatra...He's also going to sing..."You and I (We can conquer ze world) He won't make me forget Stevie Wonder..but he did it pretty good...and for his encore he plans to sing "Love Will Keep us together.." Wow! Quite an ecclectic collection of songs...I for one can't wait! How bout you?

I'm kidding about all of that....but still this Bromance between Trump and Putin should worry you...It should enrage you lovers of liberty....and yet I don't see the outrage that you would see if say I mentioned Colin Kaepernick kneeling and not standing for the pledge of Allegiance in protest to the police shootings of African-Americans...Something that is his right as a citizen of these United States...

Did you notice  that we haven't heard a thing about Hillary's emails since the election and the same folks who were so outraged over her emails aren't the least bit worried about Russian interference in our election...No big deal to them...Which just goes to show that people pick and choose what they want to be outraged about! (Or rather they allow FOX NEWS TO TELL THEM WHAT TO BE OUTRAGED ABOUT!)


We are all just a nation of sheep....THINK....It Aint illegal yet!!!! STAY WOKE!

No Scandal Too Small

Dream On

Weekend Humor

A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a word.

An earlier discussion had led to an argument and neither of them wanted to concede their position.

As they passed a barnyard of mules, goats, and pigs, the wife asked sarcastically, "Relatives of yours?" 

"Yep," the husband replied, "in-laws."

Everybody have a safe and warm weekend!

It's Coming Down To This!

Treason

Champion Of Fools

Betrayal From The Highest

Weekend Humor

I'll just leave that one right here....Everybody have a Happy Non-Political Weekend!

Funny But True #2

Funny ,But True

What I've Learned

1.Everybody's Voice sounds Fuller In The Shower.

2.I Can't read a book in a room of a lot of people.

3. I like living in my head. 

4.Never let your right hand know what your left hand is doing...My Grandmother taught me that! 

5. You can't tell people what they should like...To Each his own...

6.Trying to hard to follow a rule does more harm than good...Especially if you don't agree with that rule.

7. Boredom keeps me going, makes me creative....I hate the same old (safe) thing!

8.Trying to Please everybody is ultra stressful.

9. Happy Wife, Happy Life....It's true...

10. The Older You Get....The harder it is to lie to yourself!

PEACE!

A Short History Lesson

Not Okay With This

It says a lot about how America is falling apart when the Native Americans are treated this way by our law enforcement community. I stand for the original Americans rights to protect their land. The only land our forefathers saw fit to allow them to keep.

Weekend Humor - Three Good Ones)

Okayyyy, here goes-


A guy spots a nice looking girl in a bar goes up and starts small talk. Seeing that she didn't back off he asked her name. "Carmen," she replied.


"That's a nice name." he said warming up the conversation.


"Who named you, your mother?" he asked.


"No, I named myself." she answered.


"Oh, that's interesting. Why Carmen?" he asked .


"Because I like cars, and I like men." she said looking directly into his eyes.


"So what's your name?" she asked.


He said "Beersex."


Twoooooooooooooooooooo!


A woman walks into a bar, and guy says, "Can I buy you a drink?"


"Sure." said the woman.


After a few moments of conversing she finally asked, "So what’s your occupation?"


He says "I’m a Carpenter." ....


"To what extent of carpentry do you work?" asked the woman.


The man states: "Well, I actually work exstensively with Wood. First, I get you hammered. Next, I nail you then, I screw all your friends."


And Threeeeeeeeeeeeeee....


U know u r an Alcoholic when:
• You lose arguments with inanimate objects. ...
• You have to hold onto the lawn to keep from falling off the earth.
• Job interfering with your drinking.
• Your doctor finds traces of blood in your alcohol stream.
• The back of your head keeps getting hit by the toilet seat.
• You can focus better with one eye closed.
• The parking lot seems to have moved while you were in the bar.
• Mosquitoes get a buzz after attacking you
• You wake up in the bedroom, your underwear is in the bathroom, you fell asleep clothed.


Okayyyyy, Everybody have a great weekend!

Why Did You Vote For Trump? (Tell Me Again Please!!)

Uhhhh Remember When......

My Dear America

For all of the folks who didn't vote AND the so called "Woke" folks who wasted their vote on a third party candidate who didn't have a snowball's chance in hell of winning... trying to be deep.... OWN THIS!!!. Here is what you've done. This is who you've got!

And Now A Word From Our Sponser

Weekend Humor

In the Spirit of Thanksgiving...

A turkey farmer was always experimenting with breeding to perfect a better turkey.

His family was fond of the leg portion for dinner and there were never enough legs for everyone.

After many frustrating attempts, the farmer was relating the results of his efforts to his friends at the general store get together. "Well I finally did it! I bred a turkey that has 6 legs!"

They all asked the farmer how it tasted.

"I don't know" said the farmer. "I never could catch the darn thing!"

Hope everyone had a great Thanksgiving....Here's to a great weekend!

Happy Thanksgiving

Alt-Right

Seriously?? In 2016 I have to protest Neo-Nazis? Really?? To All you idiots who voted for Donald Trump...For all you crybabies, so butt hurt that Bernie didn't WIN THAT YOU VOTED FOR THIRD PARTY CANDIDATES WHO DIDN'T HAVE A SNOWBALL'S CHANCE OF HELL IN WINNING...AND ALL YOU SO CALLED WOKE IDIOTS WHO DIDN'T BOTHER TO VOTE AT ALL..Thank you very much...This is what you gave us!

Magic Immigrants

Alternate Reality

Weekend Humor

So....


A black man and his wife were invited to a Costume Party so the husband tells his wife to go to the store and get costumes for them to wear.
When he comes home that night he goes into the bedroom and there laid out on the bed is a Superman costume.
...

The husband yells at his wife, "What are you doing? Have you ever heard of a black Superman? Take this back and get me something else I can wear."


The next day the wife, not too happy, returns the costume and gets a replacement. The husband homes home from work, goes to the bedroom, and there, laid out on the bed, is a Batman costume.


He again yells at his wife, "What are you doing? Have you ever heard of a black Batman? Take this back and get me something I can wear to the costume party!"


The next morning his irate wife goes shopping. When the husband comes home again from work, there laid out on the bed are three items: one is a set of three white buttons; the second is a thick white belt; and the third item is a 2 x 4.
The husband yells at the wife, "What the hell are these for?"


The wife yells back, "Take your clothes off. You can put the three white buttons on the front of you and go as a domino. If you don't like that one, you can put the white belt on and go as an Oreo. And if you don't like THAT one, you can stick the 2 x 4 up your ass and go as a fudge sickle!"


OUCH!  Everybody have an Anger Free Weekend!

A Different World

Thank You (A Random Thought In The Aftermath of.....)

I don't know what the next 4 years will bring...But this was 8 good ones!

Before It's Too Late

What Dave Chappelle Said

I have gotten over my shock and I too am going to give our new President a chance...Like my man Dave Chappelle said...I hope he gives everybody else a chance too. African-Americans, Latinos, Muslims and Women!

Weekend Humor

Really Hard to laugh this weekend..but here goes..


A blonde had just gotten a new sports car and was out for a drive when she accidentally cut off a truck driver.


The truck driver motioned for her to pull over.

When she did, he got out of his truck and pulled a piece of chalk from his pocket. He drew a circle on the side of the road and gruffly commanded to the blonde,


 "Stand in that circle and DON'T MOVE!".


He then went to her car and cut up her leather seats. When he turned around she had a slight grin on her face.


"Oh you think that's funny.? Watch this!"


He gets a baseball bat out of His truck and breaks every window in her car.


When he turns and looks at her she has a smile on her face. He is getting really mad. He gets his knife back out and slices all her tires. Now she's laughing hysterically.


The truck driver is really starting to lose it.

He goes back to his truck and gets a can of gas, pours it on her car and sets it on fire.


 He turns around and she is laughing so hard she is almost falling over.

"What's so funny?" the truck driver asked the blonde.


She replied, "Every time you weren't looking, I stepped outside the circle."


Have a great weekend everybody!

And In Four Years

What Have We Done?

Donald Trump is the new President Elect! I can't believe what I am waking up to this morning.....I thought the majority of the American people were smarter than this...Better than this...Unfortunately they are not...He is not the guy you who voted for him think he is...and you'll find out..... Finally, Thank you to all of you people who voted for third party candidates or didn't vote at all supposedly to make a point! Look what we have now....Did you make your point? Grow Up! We have made a grave mistake here..A grave mistake....And time will bear me out on this..There is no silver lining here...None at all.

Time To Vote

"It's 6:53 as of this writing...The Polls in my neighborhood open in little under ten minutes...I've tied up my sneakers....I'm ready to go and vote......It's put up or shut up time now!

What Trump Really Means When He Says Let's Make America Great Again

Weekend Humor

A woman goes into a tattoo parlor and tells the tattoo artist that she wants a tattoo of a turkey on her right thigh just below her bikini line.

She also wants him to put “Happy Thanksgiving” under the turkey.

So the guy does it and it comes out looking really good. The woman then instructs him to put a Santa tattoo with “Merry Christmas” up on her left thigh.So the guy does it and it comes out looking good, too.

As the woman is getting dressed to leave, the tattoo artist asks, “If you don’t mind, could you tell me why you had me put such unusual tattoos on your thighs?”

She says “I’m sick and tired of my husband complaining all the time that there’s nothing good to eat between Thanksgiving and Christmas!”


OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH  Everybody hAVE  a sexilicious weekend!

Before Obamacare

Keith's Favorite Quotes

Random Thoughts

1.Am I the only one who is totally exhausted by this entire election cycle?

2. November 8th at midnight we'll all be able to exhale!

3.Am I the only one tired of hearing about emails?

4.Facebook and Twitter can be fun some days...and then there are days when it's totally exhausting..

5. A lot of people and things are becoming exhausting to me lately...

6.That's All I got (4 Now)

What I've Learned

1. Go Big Or Go Home

2.The smaller the balls, the bigger the stakes...

3.If you happen to find yourself in politically mixed company at dinner...Pray you're in a state with strict gun control laws.

4.People who are just determined to argue turn pacifist ploys into provocations.

5.Never spend too much time around people who just have a provocation to drink.

6. It is wrong to end friendships with people who disagree with you....Take advantage of a chance to see something from the other perspective.

7.Power never concedes anything without a fight.

8. A Nazi said this but I find it to be true....If you tell the same lie long enough...People begin to take it as truth!

9.History is usually written by the survivor or the victor.

10.Lose your temper and you've lost the argument.


Peace!

Please Tell Us About The Emails AGAIN!