Friday, August 13, 2010

Weekend Humor


A MAN'S TRANSLATIONS!

These translations are for all of you wonderful ladies out there, so that you will know what we really mean when we say...

1. "IT'S JUST A GUY THING"

Translation: "There is no rational thought pattern connected with it and you have no chance at all of making it logical."

2. "CAN I HELP WITH DINNER?"

Translation: "How come it isn't already on the table?"

3. "UH, HUH?" "SURE, HONEY." OR "YES, DEAR."

Translation: Absolutely nothing. It's a conditioned response.

4. "IT WOULD TAKE TOO LONG TO EXPLAIN."

Translation: "I have no clue how it works."

5. "TAKE A BREAK, BABY. YOU'RE WORKING TOO HARD."

"Translation: "I can't hear the game over the vacuum cleaner."

6. "THAT'S INTERESTING, DEAR."

Translation: "Are you still talking?"

7. "YOU KNOW HOW BAD MY MEMORY IS."

Translation: "I remember the theme song to 'F Troop,' the address of the first girl I ever kissed, and the vehicle identification numbers of every car I've ever owned... but I forgot your birthday."

8. "OH, IT'S ALL GOOD. I JUST CUT MYSELF. IT'S NO BIG DEAL."

"Translation: "I have actually severed a limb, but damn it... I'll bleed to death before I admit that I'm hurt!"

9. "HEY, I'VE GOT MY REASONS FOR WHAT I'M DOING."

Translation: "And, I sure hope I can think of some pretty soon."

10. "I CAN'T FIND IT."

Translation: "It didn't fall into my outstretched hands, so I'm completely clueless."

11. "WHAT DID I DO THIS TIME?"

Translation: "What did you catch me at?"

12. "I'M NOT LOST. I KNOW EXACTLY WHERE WE ARE."

Translation: "No one will ever see us alive again."

13. "WE SHARE THE HOUSEWORK."

Translation: "I make the messes; she cleans them up."

Have a great weekend everyone!

25 comments:

Brenda said...

Good joke...I've heard men say a few of these things myself!

James Perkins said...

Funny!

Simon Bastion said...

You are the most entertaining and versatile blogger I have met since I started reading blogs!

Lisa said...

ROTFLMAO, because this is so true!

Toni said...

Just finished reading "Escapades", now I'm over here...You've hit home runs on both blogs today..but then again,that's to be expected!

Sunflower said...

Funny! Have a great weekend Keith!

Jazzy said...

You Crazy Fam!

Swaggie said...

Funny! Mostly true, I must admit...Have a good one fam!

Grover Tha Playboy said...

Awww Keith, Turn in your playas cards, LMBAO! Nah just kidding..Have a great weekend fam!

Tate 2 said...

Good Ones...Now you gotta unscramble woman's language next!
Have a great weekend Keith!

Angie B. said...

Too Cute!

Cheryl said...

This was sooo true, you just don't know! LMBAO!

Lisa said...

These were Funny!

Halo said...

These were cute (and true) have a great weekend Keith!

Vanessa said...

Too Cute....And tha truth ruth! ROTFLMBAO! I can hear somebody actually sayin this stuff! LOL!

Captain Jack said...

Okayyyyyyyyyyyy!!!

DBH said...

ROTFLMBAO!

Arlene said...

That was funny, cousin. Have a great weekend! Make some salad dressing, with bleu cheese!

Arlene said...

That was funny, cousin. Have a great weekend! Make some salad dressing, with bleu cheese!

Mizrepresent said...

lol, these are so om point!

CurvyGurl ♥ said...

ROFL! Have a great weekend!

Kofi Bofah said...

What's your Facebook handle?

I know I haven't showed up around here in forever. I have been spending most of my writing time - writing for pay...

12kyle said...

LMAO!!! Good one fam! These sound SOOOOO familiar

Keith said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Don said...

Too funny.

Especially - it being a guy thing and a man's inability to enjoy the game.

I got a good laugh out of these. Thanks for sharing.




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