Friday, November 8, 2013

Weekend Humor-Shorties

A guy goes to the store to buy condoms.
''Do you want a bag?'', the cashier asks
''No'', the guy says, ''She's not that ugly''

Q: How does a woman scare a gynecologist?
A: By becoming a ventriloquist!

Q: What does it mean when someone is in your bed gasping for breath and calling your name?
A: You didn't hold the pillow down long enough.

Last one-

A turkey was chatting with a bull.

''I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree' sighed the turkey, 'but I haven't got the energy..' '

 ''Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?' replied the bull. They're packed with nutrients.''

The turkey pecked at a lump of dung, and found it actually gave him enough strength to reach the lowest branch of the tree.

The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch.

Finally after a fourth night, the turkey was proudly perched at the top of the tree.

He was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot him out of the tree.

Moral of the story:
Bull Shit might get you to the top, but it won't keep you there..


Everyone have a groovy weekend!!


Angie B. said...

Hahahahahahahahaha You're crazy!

Toni said...

You somehow make corny funny!Have a great weekend Keith!

Cheryl said...


George S. said...

Have a great weekend Keith! LOL!

Vanessa said...

That last one was crazy...but on point!

Lisa said...

LMAO! Loved them all!

Halo said...

Have a great weekend Keith...Gotta steal that last one!

Brenda said...

You know somethin? You are too much!

James Perkins said...

You got me over here spittin my coffee out!

Grover Tha Playboy said...

Loved that last one!

Arlene said...

Alright, alright!! I like that. Just what I needed on this cold Friday! A heart-warming, hearty laugh. Have a groovy weekend. That oxy is working your brain, bro!!


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