Sunday, October 5, 2008

A Night At Sullivan's

Friday night, a friend of mine invited me and some other people that she knew to one of those after work "Happy Hours" at a hot new night spot in Downtown Philly called "Sullivans." It was previously an African American owned club called "Zanzibar Blue". You could see live Jazz, eat soul food, and wash it down with drinks and beverages from the bar. My wife and I dined there a few times... the food was good but, she said that the plates were larger than the amount of food that was served (not too far from the truth). Zanzibar Blue closed about a year ago, the new club opened, and the new owners completely revamped the place. They gave it the appearance of a lounge, with wide screen flat TV monitors everywhere and small personalized booths for small parties. The crowd was a mixture of hip black and white "uber professionals".

Daytime view of the lounge at Sullivan's

My friend was busy being a good hostess and was only able to offer minimal conversation to me so, I had to mingle with about nine people who I had never seen before. One sister and a brother, who looked like he was too young to be in the club, sat near me. She asked me my name and then almost immediately, asked me what I do for a living. I told her that I work for a university in the development section, where we procure donors and alumni and get them to donate money to us for cancer research and other projects. She told me that she was a manager at a major pharmaceutical research lab.

As a rule, once I leave work, I prefer to leave it there... I don't like to talk about work when I'm not actually working. All of these people seemed to be talking about their degrees, jobs, and getting a higher paying job... not exactly conversation that was interesting to me at the moment. Then, she asked me if I was married (which I think is what she really wanted to know.) I told her that I was and then she asked me if I was "happily" married. I hate when women ask me a question like that because if I bother to tell you that I'm married then, assume that I'm happily married and that anything else on that line ends right there. I showed her my wedding band and then asked her,"What do you think?"... (with a smile, of course). Then she asked me, "What does your wife do?" I responded with "Whoa, lots of questions tonight... Do you mean to tell me that an attractive, educated women like you doesn't have a man?" She hung her head and said, "No... it's hard to find a brother on my level or that is not intimidated by my success." Oh, my God... here was another conversation I didn't want to have so, I steered the conversation to the debate.

Everybody said that they thought Sarah Palin was "prepped well" and that she evaded issues and answered only the questions that she wanted to answer. I asked everybody present if they were registered to vote and I can happily say that all of them were. I jokingly asked if there were any black Republicans in the bunch and they all laughed and went, "Boooooooooo....." Now, we were having a good time! Our drinks came, the food came, and everybody dropped their veneers and was becoming downright warm and cuddly. Then, here it comes (you knew there was a "then")... THEY CAME!

My friend's Hispanic co-worker, Benita, and her white boyfriend, Tom, and they were drunk when they got to the lounge area. They also had two large goblets of wine and ordered two more. They were loud and insisted on talking to everyone in the group and walking around. Neither of them would sit down and they caused everybody in the place to stare at them and at us. Tom was a salesman and he talked everyone's ears off about everything and nothing. He reminded me of a used car salesman.

He asked me what my name was.. I said "Keith." He said, "How old are you, my friend?" I said, "50." He said, "MY GOD, YOU PEOPLE AGE SO WELL! I'm 50 and look at me... I look worse than my dad... hahahahahahahaha." The "you people age so well" comment didn't go over so well with these black uber professionals but, I thought it was hilarious and I probably saved him from being lynched indoors by laughing. Come on, the man was drunk and he didn't say the "N" word so, I gave him a pass.

The sister sitting next to me tried to ignore him. She asked me if I had any interesting hobbies and I told her about the blog you are reading, my other blog, and the very interesting bloggers I have met from around the nation that I share an almost daily communion with. People that I feel like I know but, have never met. Tom looked at her and said, "You've got some big sexy legs my chocolate sistah... ummmmmm, ummmmmmph" and stuck his tongue out at her in an obscene gesture. Me and this other brother sitting across from me began laughing our heads off at Tom and another brother starting laughing too. Only one of the sisters laughed. The sister it was directed at, didn't find it funny.

Benita started doing a very sexy dance (she thought) and Tom grabbed one of her butt cheeks and made a spanking motion. Again, the brothers were laughing so hard that tears were coming out of our eyes but, the sisters were not amused. Then Benita, made the biggest mistake she could ever have made. She sat on this brother's lap and started giving him a simulated lap dance. He was dark skinned, bald headed, and built like adonis... but, it was quite clear who ran the show. His woman. A much smaller sister but, she was quite clear in her feelings about the matter. She lunged at Benita, grabbed her wrist, and attempted to push her off of her man and both women fell to the ground.

Hot damn... we are having a hot night tonight and I'm definitely going to blog about this, I thought to myself. I'm laughing so hard, my sides are hurting. My poor friend, our hostess, looked mortified and she kept saying, "She (Benita) doesn't act like this at work. I have never seen this side of her." Tom saddled over next to the sister that had been talking to me and said," Look, she's drunk and we haven't been together that long. I'd really like to rub those big legs girl." She pushed him away and got up and said to my friend," Uh, it's eight o'clock and I'm supposed to be meeting some friends at "Warmdaddys" (another popular black nightspot owned by the same people who gave us Zanzibar Blue). Thanks for inviting me." She looked at me and said, "It was nice meeting you. Maybe I'll see you around at some other events." I smiled and said, "Maybe, you never know."

Four other people got up and left right after she did. Tom grabbed Benita and pulled the other girl away from her. Benita said, "I didn't mean no disrespect. Usually, I'm a f__ckin' lady." Which had me bowled over in laughter. The sister said, "Well, you went over the line that time. I don't play that." Tom apologized and said to Benita that they had better go. They drank their tumblers of wine and, while holding each other up, waddled out the club.

I walked over to my friend, gave her a hug, and said... "Thank you for inviting me. This was a great night... very entertaining." She said... "Oh, stop making fun of me." I said, "No... seriously, I had a great time. I mean it. I loved the free draft beers and the Mojitos." She smirked, "No, you loved the two drunk idiots." I laughed, "I especially loved them." She said, "I know you did."

I wandered out into the October night with a slight buzz that was completely knocked out when I got to the parking lot and couldn't remember where I had parked my car. I walked a few blocks to a Dunkin Donuts and ordered a large coffee. I sat and drank that and laughed to myself until I got it together and then, went back and found my car. I drove home with the windows down and Jazmine Sullivan's "I Need You Bad" blasting on the radio and thought... how cool it is to be me sometimes, like this particular night!


Strongblkwmn said...


Sounds like someone was trying to get a piece of Keith. I hate when people ask me if i'm happily married too. Like you said, the conversation should move once I tell someone i'm married.

I probably would have stayed just to see what would happen next. There's nothing like a couple of funny drunks to help you unwind after a long week of work.

I wonder where they went after they left.

Pajnstl said...

LOL Don't you just love when people get drunk and behave really silly?! lol Always entertaining. unless it's you. l

Mizrepresent said...

Wow Keith, that is too funny. Glad you had a fun time, though...i would have laughed too!

Keisha "Kitten" Isaacs said...

Hey Brother!

Thanks for sharing another good story...Glad you had fun!

Raven said...

NO!NO!NO! If I am laughing from just reading this; I know the scene had you close to tears! I don't even know where to begin. I have been told that my real life is stranger than fiction, but you take the cake with this! Too funny!!!

OG, The Original Glamazon said...

Yes this was so funny to me!!


CurvyGurl said...

Hilarious! She had some nerve to ask if you're "happily" married...umph! I wonder if homegirl realizes she may be running dudes away by asking 20 freaking questions within 10 minutes of meeting them...? Whew!


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