Monday, October 20, 2008

Their New Public Image


A couple of weeks ago, I was sitting at a table with two associates of mine... (I'll call them) L. and T. We hadn't talked since December when both of these guys got married (one for the first time and the other for the second time). I ordered a New York Strip steak, a baked potato, and a Coke. My two buddies ordered Salmon Steaks and a round of Mojitos for all three of us. T., who is the father of a 23 year old daughter and a 27 year old son by two different women, had never married until last December. L. was the father of a 16 year old son from his first marriage and was now getting married for the second time.

Both of these guys were stone cold players. Over the years, I had watched them juggle a revolving door of women with ease. They rarely, if ever, got caught and all the while, they maintained long-standing relationships with one main lady. They finally married those "main ladies".

Both of their women were long-suffering girlfriends. They each knew or at least suspected what their men were doing but, kept silent and looked the other way. I can't imagine the embarrassment they must've felt over the years hearing people whisper behind their backs about their men being with this one or that one. Through it all though, they were stoic women who hung in there and from appearances, their stoicism paid off... they got their men.

While I cut my steak and began to chew, T. said to me, "Keith, looks like you were on to something all these years... being married and all. I'm so glad I got married." I looked at him and halfway jokingly said, "Oh, you are?" He kept talking while he was eating and said, "Yeah, man... I could no longer afford to be wining and dining all of these women. It's much easier being married. We can go dutch when we go out or we don't have to go out at all, you know?" L. joined in and said, "Man, you ain't never lied. I remember taking at least three girls out a week and you know my taste, man... I was dropping some heavy cash in a lot of the top spots downtown and that was taking a toll on my bank account. Now that I'm married, we go to Chilis or Friday's and call it a day."

I looked at both of them and then said, "So, y'all got married so you could eat at Chili's or Fridays and go Dutch, right?" They both looked at me, pointed, and started cracking up. T. said to L. "Man, I told you this guy missed his calling. He could be out there with Eddie Murphy and Martin Lawrence." They both laughed so, I dropped this on them... "So, you're saying that you spent more money on your jump offs than you do your wives? That's what you're both saying, right?" The mood at the table changed and then, T. looked at me and said, "Naw man, I'm just talking about a lifestyle change brother, that's all." I retorted, "It seems as though you should treat your wife as good, if not better, than a jump off... that's all I'm saying."

T. looked at his watch and remembered that he had someone to meet. He asked for the check and just then, a beautiful young black woman with a Jamaican accent came in the restaurant. She came over to him and he whispered something in her ear. She smiled and walked outside. He left his money on the table, pointed at me, and said, "I gotta see a man about a horse brothers... we'll table this conversation for now." and he was out the door. The woman with the Jamaican accent was not his wife. I looked at L and said, "And, you have to be somewhere too, no doubt?" He shrugged his shoulders and said, "Yeah, I'm supposed to meet some of my lodge brothers at this club over in Jersey." Within minutes, he was also gone.

I sat, finished my steak, and thought about both of these guys. They called themselves reformed players but, that was just for their new public image. Not a thing had changed about either of them. I wondered as I sat there if at my worst, I had ever been them. I hadn't... I had never been as smooth and adept at lying as I know they had to be to have been so "successful". Maybe I was hatin' because I couldn't be like them so, I pondered that thought too. Then, I said... "Nah. One thing I ain't and that's cheap." By the way, neither one of them left a tip.

14 comments:

SLC said...

So the only good side effect of this poor economy is players settling down. I once heard a preacher say, "deliverance (for an alcoholic) isn't the liquor store moving away, but deliverance is going to the liquor store for potato chips and leaving only with potato chips.
I feel sorry for their victims (wives), but hopefully when they get a moment they'll take a look at the picture you painted of them.
Peace

Angie B. said...

MEN!!!!LOLOLOLL- Good Story Keith.

Grover Tha Playboy said...

Hey keith, Don't Hate the Player,
Hate the game.

Toni said...

You were right Keith, Nothing changed about them at all.

James Perkins said...

Good post Brother. The game is out there, it's still play or get played...Aint a damn thing changed.

Sunflower said...

Interesting Post...Interesting Guys..I'd love to see a study done on the mind of a playa...or dog, either one applies.

Anonymous said...

@grover- grow up!

Opinionated Diva said...

Ugh. I read this and immediately picked up the vibe that the jump off was to be wined and dined and the wife was to be treated cheaply. I'm so glad you pointed this out to them...but not sure it even registered long enough to mean anything to them.

Honestly, it doesn't even sound like they're good liars. You have them all figured out...trust that the wives do too. Especially if it's been going on for years.

I can't even hate the players...I'm sad for the women who put up with their shyt and actually married them.

Thoughts of a Southern gal said...

SMH! I wasn't ready for the ending.

CurvyGurl said...

Is there any hope for single girls? I wonder if the wives would be surprised since they were playas all along. Umph!

Keisha "Kitten" Isaacs said...

I know this lady who had a playa playa..she patiently waited for him until she won his proposal and wedding band!...I tell you what... it takes a patient woman to wait it out and get her man in the end...I'm not sure if this dude I'm referring to retired his playa card..but I really hope he did.

This might be a dumb question..but why do people get married if they ain't ready to give up the "black book"

Keith said...

@keisha- That is the question that can not be answered.

Shanita Waters said...

Now that was interesting! I've heard a lot of women given a hard way to go becasue they marriwed for financial security but I've never heard of brothers doing this.

I have noticed an increasing amount of so-called players settling down but I never looked at it in the light where it is "cheaper" to be married. Hmmm... this is something to think about.

On another note, I hope the brothers realized how twisted their rationale was when you brought to their attention that they were treating their chicks better than their wives. Such should not be the case. Thank goodness they have a grounded friend like you.

Shanita Waters said...

Now that was interesting! I've heard a lot of women given a hard way to go becasue they marriwed for financial security but I've never heard of brothers doing this.

I have noticed an increasing amount of so-called players settling down but I never looked at it in the light where it is "cheaper" to be married. Hmmm... this is something to think about.

On another note, I hope the brothers realized how twisted their rationale was when you brought to their attention that they were treating their chicks better than their wives. Such should not be the case. Thank goodness they have a grounded friend like you.




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