Saturday, February 13, 2010

The E-Games People Play

As I said yesterday, people play these online games with people because of their own special agendas. Some folks are bored, some folks need to know how popular they are, but the biggest driving forces here are fear and deception.

Jennifer Worick, author of "The Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook: Dating & Sex", says people do have different agendas when it comes to dating. "For me, the end goal is to be in a loving relationship with someone. But for others, the end goal might be that they’re passing time, preventing boredom, or just collecting men and women", she says.

Deception, people pretending to be something they’re not (whether it’s single or a certain gender), can be another reason relationships stay in the virtual realm, says Patricia Wallace, Psychologist and Senior Director of Information Technology at Johns Hopkins University Center for Talented Youth in Maryland.

Another big factor is fear. "There’s the fear of failure, the fear of rejection, the fear of making a fool of yourself," she says. "An online relationship is perceived as being low-risk as compared to meeting in person. When you pick up the phone or meet in person, you have a lot less control over your message and your impression as compared to a Facebook wall post or an IM where you can rewrite and think about what you want to say." (In other words, lie.)

She says, having more control means having the ability to create a better version of you which can then be marketed to a better version of someone else (more than likely a fake version). "A woman (or a man) might feel really smart and attractive when she’s (or he's) online because she (or he) comes up with a lot of witty things to say. She or he controls the pictures that she or he sends and she or he meets somebody who does the exact same thing," says Wallace, author of “The Psychology of the Internet." "They can have a magical interaction — a meeting of the minds, sort of — whereas meeting in person would just spoil it. He stutters; she burps." (You know, real human things.)

Yeah, reality kicks in... reality can be messy. It's not clinical, it's not clean. What all of these people miss out on is that life... real life, real love... is only interesting really good when it is in fact what it is... messy, unclean, unclinical, and totally out of control. This is what makes a relationship worthwhile and memorable. The technology, the hiding and the posturing be damned. In the end, the real will win out and it has to.

Don't get me wrong... I network on Facebook, probably more than I should, but if I were single, trying to meet someone, and forge a relationship, Facebook, Twitter, I-Chat, etc. would be the last place I would go to do so. Remember, you're talking to a guy who doesn't trust the personals in the newspapers!

Happy Valentine's Day everyone!

16 comments:

Sean said...

Excellent Analysis

Sunflower said...

The lonliness and emptyness some of us feel out here is incredible..
I certainly understand why some people retreat to the internet..You brought it home with these last two posts Keith.

Swaggie said...

This was a dope post fam...Both of em.

James Perkins said...

Once again, you're right on the pulse. You touched on the fear people have come to feel, both about their own shortcomings and the shortcomings of others...Incredible insight brother.

Captain Jack said...

All of life is but a stage...didn't Shakespere say that?

Tate2 said...

Cocktail napkins anyone?lolololol
Can't beleive people actually wrote their phone numbers on them in bars once.lolololol

Samuel Bastion said...

Very enlightening posts.

Toni said...

Good Post Keith!

Brenda said...

Wow,I expected a "Weekend Humor post or a "Saturday Seven"post from you today...You actually worked today-lololol..Just kidding.
Great Post.

Angie B. said...

I'll never view the internet the same again...lolol good post Keith.

Jazzy said...

Sign of the times my brother!

Lisa said...

All of this talk about 'Elationships" and "E-games" sounds kind of depressing..but I understand what you're trying to say.

Halo said...

Good Analysis of a troubling trend in human behavior.

Vanessa said...

Lawd Let me just walk to the bar with my girls and meet someone the normal way...lololol.

Grover Tha Playboy said...

I co-sign with what Jazzy said Keith..This is just a sign of the times. Good post and good points made.

Cheryl said...

These last two posts you did was deep Keith, they gave me a lot to think about.




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