Manny

I had a friend once who I'll call "Manny". We knew each other for all of maybe seven months and we worked at the same establishment. People pretty much thought he was a prick but he was my boy because we talked and both had pretty much the same (bad) attitude about life at the time.

You see, some people (people who don't and who never knew me) got the idea that I was a pretty nice guy... that I was almost like Jesus Christ. True, there are times when I can be very gregarious, very compassionate, very what you would call "nice". Then, yeah... then there are times when I can be a world class a-hole and that's the time when I can bring out the worst in everybody around me.

I always understood my dual nature, even if nobody else did. My mother always understood just who I was because she was my mother. When I was being praised by some neighbor as being "such a nice boy". She was proud for a minute and happy that I wasn't out causing the family any embarrassment... but at the same time, she would look at me side-eyed because she knew her little boy and she knew that her little boy was more than what some deceived neighbor thought they saw. She knew who I could be when I thought no one was looking. She was never fooled.

And, that's why I liked Manny... he was just like me and we understood each other quite well. We worked at this job... a job we both hated... cleaning office buildings and being blamed for everything that wound up missing or wasn't where it was placed the night before. We both had a deep hatred for our supervisor... A man who made it plain that he thought the two of us were a bit too "leisurely"

I used to tell Manny..."Yo man, one day I'm gonna work in an office like this and I'll be leaving my trash for someone to pick up after I get off at 5:00pm." He used to look at me when I said that with one of those "Yeah man, sure" looks. And, how ironic... today, I do work in an office building... one of the ones that I used to clean decades ago and part of my job is to assign work details to people like me and Manny. I'm a lot nicer than our supervisor was back then... at least, I think so.

Manny was a year younger than me. He didn't have the benefit of a college education like I'd had and because he had done a year as a guest of the state of Pennsylvania (state prison), he couldn't enlist in the military as I had already done at the time. At age 24, he felt as if this was as far as he could go in life and that might have been the reason for his bad attitude. Me, I didn't have a reason or justification. I just had a bad attitude at the time, but I knew I was moving on and that's why I could dream out loud.

I had another job, working at a Burger King in North Philly (far enough from my home so that no one who knew me would see me, though everyone who knew me, knew that I worked there). I was just trying to bank enough money so that when I eventually made my move, I'd have plenty of cash to keep me straight until my rich uncle (Sam) kicked in and started paying me.

Manny and our supervisor had one too many altercations. His lateness, attitude, very existence... you pick one... and Manny and the man nearly got into a fist fight. Of course, you know led to him being terminated. It was bad for me then because I had lost a brother, a comrade in arms. Some people just help you do your time in a bad place (jail, bad job, etc.) a little better. They help you pass the time. When Manny left, things got boring around the job. I had no one to talk to and I didn't really vibe with the other folks who worked there.

About two months before I was to leave Philly to report for basic training at Lackland Air Force base in San Antonio, TX, I ran into Manny. He was decked out and had a knot of cash in his hands. We sat in a restaraunt and he bought me a steak, baked potato, a salad, and a beer. He said, "Yo man, you sure you wanna go in the Air Force? I got a big money game goin' on and you could be in it with me partner." It didn't take much imagination to figure out that Manny was selling drugs and apparently was doing well at it. He told me he had three "corners" in North Philly and was getting ready to take one in West Philly.

"You sure got big in a short while." I said. "That's cause I know somebody, somebody important" he said. "Somebody that set me up nice. I could talk to him, and get him to set you up too man" he said. I declined his offer but looking at all of that cash he was throwing around and the nice clothes he was wearing at the time was tempting. Yet, the thought of living that life and always looking over my shoulders just wasn't appealing to me. It wasa good thing too. I couldn't have known that would be the last time I'd see my friend alive.

A few days before Christmas of that year, I was getting off of the 46 bus near 61st and Oxford Streets and I ran into a girl that we both knew. She called me over to where she and a bunch of her girlfriends were standing. "I guess you heard about your boy Manny?" she asked. "No. What about him?" I asked. "They found him slumped across the front seat of his car with two shots to the dome. I heard the Junior Black Mafia got him", she said. Everytime somebody got killed back then, the Junior Black Mafia got blamed. They did kill a lot of people, but not everybody. To this day, no one has ever been arrested for Manny's murder.

I was sick to my stomach, hearing that and I couldn't believe that he had been killed. We were supposed to hook-up before I left for active duty and hang out. I had already quit both of my jobs. She looked at me as if to say... "Why couldn't it have been you?" She didn't say that, but I never felt this particular girl cared too much for me anyway so, that's what I thought she was thinking. She, too, had gotten a glimpse of the "other" me.

I don't know why I thought about Manny today. I was sitting in an office... ironically enough, of one of the buildings I used to clean... drinking coffee, tapping the keyboard of a computer, and listening to the radio. A young skinny guy came by and emptied my trash can... a trash can he should have emptied the night before. I didn't say anything to him and I thought about what I said some 26 years ago..

"Manny, one day I'm gonna work in a building just like this... in an office... and somebody is going to empty my trash." And, he said..."Nigger, you crazy. Come on man and get back to work." Yeah, I am crazy. Manny, whereever you are, this one's for you!