I was laying in my bedroom listening to the radio and Sade's new song, "Soldier of Love", was playing when this revelation hit me. I was thinking about how relationships are now. I was once again thankful to be married and out of the game but playfully wondering if I were "in the game", would I take care of the new technology available today that was non-existent, 20 or even ten years ago.
Yeah, I'm kinda ol' skool in that I wouldn't trust meeting someone on an online dating site. I don't think I'd want to meet someone on Facebook, Twitter, I-Chat, or texting either. You are talking to a guy who didn't trust meeting someone in the "personals". (Does anyone know if they even run the "personals" in the newspapers anymore?) Reason being... people lie. Here's a short story...
Once, when I was in my twenties, a friend of mine answered an ad put in the personals. The young lady described herself as "looking like Janet Jackson". The guy wanted me to go with him to meet up with the girl and we agreed to meet in the downtown area in front of a well-known landmark.
Well, we got there, looked around, and we didn't see anyone who resembled Janet Jackson. When he finally met up with his date she resembled gospel singer Mahailia Jackson more so than Janet Jackson. When I got finished laughing, I quietly disappeared into the night and left my boy to his misfortune. However, what you should know is that he lied too. He never mentioned to the young lady that he had put on a few pounds himself. He described himself as "athletic build". That's what I mean... people lie.
People post photos of themselves on Facebook,Twitter, and what have you that are decades old... they lie about their marital status... and in some cases, they lie about their true sexual orientation. It's hard to do that much lying when you're standing face to face with somebody, isn't it? Give me the old-fashioned face to face meeting any day. The only new thing I like is that you no longer have to exchange phone numbers on cocktail napkins. You can use your cell phone or BlackBerry.
The "e-lationship" (electronic relationship) is not for me. Now, I hear we have the new freak. This is a person who only wants a relationship with you on Facebook, Twitter, Text Message or I-Chat and they have no desire to actually meet you. "I’ve been involved in five or six of these", says a 49 year old male co-worker of mine who in recent months found a "dime piece" of a girlfriend on Facebook and left the online dating scene. "One woman was always popping up on the chat box everytime I was on Facebook... "What you doing? Where have you been?" This went on for a month and then, I proposed that we meet but she was always busy. So, I called her on it and she said, "I’m getting what I need out of this and there’s no need to go any further." So, I cut it off. I de-friended her because I didn’t have time for the B.S.", he said. Meanwhile, I just shook my head. Is this what we've come to?
Why would someone spend all that time communicating with a person they never plan to meet? I think some folks, both guys and girls, just like to collect "cyber-harems." My friend who I spoke of in the last paragraph told me, "I have a female friend who’s on a dating site and I can see that a lot of the people from the site have started following her on Facebook. She has 15 to 20 guys all commenting on her posts and looking to get with her but she’s only interested in the attention. She’s told me flat out that she ain't about meeting anybody. She just wants to feel like people want her every now and then." He laughed.
That kind of self-absorbed behavior may be great for her ego, but on Valentines Day, when she's sitting home drinking a wine cooler alone, how will she feel then? This isn't all on women either, There are a number of men on Facebook who I suspect are doing the same thing (more men than women).
Different people have different agendas when it comes to their personal relationships. I suppose the ultimate goal is to connect with someone... to find that soulmate, that relationship. I suppose that some folks are just bored and passing time... testing the waters, I guess. I tend to think deception and fear play a big part in why people play these "e-games". I'll discuss this more in my next post...
Yeah, I'm kinda ol' skool in that I wouldn't trust meeting someone on an online dating site. I don't think I'd want to meet someone on Facebook, Twitter, I-Chat, or texting either. You are talking to a guy who didn't trust meeting someone in the "personals". (Does anyone know if they even run the "personals" in the newspapers anymore?) Reason being... people lie. Here's a short story...
Once, when I was in my twenties, a friend of mine answered an ad put in the personals. The young lady described herself as "looking like Janet Jackson". The guy wanted me to go with him to meet up with the girl and we agreed to meet in the downtown area in front of a well-known landmark.
Well, we got there, looked around, and we didn't see anyone who resembled Janet Jackson. When he finally met up with his date she resembled gospel singer Mahailia Jackson more so than Janet Jackson. When I got finished laughing, I quietly disappeared into the night and left my boy to his misfortune. However, what you should know is that he lied too. He never mentioned to the young lady that he had put on a few pounds himself. He described himself as "athletic build". That's what I mean... people lie.
People post photos of themselves on Facebook,Twitter, and what have you that are decades old... they lie about their marital status... and in some cases, they lie about their true sexual orientation. It's hard to do that much lying when you're standing face to face with somebody, isn't it? Give me the old-fashioned face to face meeting any day. The only new thing I like is that you no longer have to exchange phone numbers on cocktail napkins. You can use your cell phone or BlackBerry.
The "e-lationship" (electronic relationship) is not for me. Now, I hear we have the new freak. This is a person who only wants a relationship with you on Facebook, Twitter, Text Message or I-Chat and they have no desire to actually meet you. "I’ve been involved in five or six of these", says a 49 year old male co-worker of mine who in recent months found a "dime piece" of a girlfriend on Facebook and left the online dating scene. "One woman was always popping up on the chat box everytime I was on Facebook... "What you doing? Where have you been?" This went on for a month and then, I proposed that we meet but she was always busy. So, I called her on it and she said, "I’m getting what I need out of this and there’s no need to go any further." So, I cut it off. I de-friended her because I didn’t have time for the B.S.", he said. Meanwhile, I just shook my head. Is this what we've come to?
Why would someone spend all that time communicating with a person they never plan to meet? I think some folks, both guys and girls, just like to collect "cyber-harems." My friend who I spoke of in the last paragraph told me, "I have a female friend who’s on a dating site and I can see that a lot of the people from the site have started following her on Facebook. She has 15 to 20 guys all commenting on her posts and looking to get with her but she’s only interested in the attention. She’s told me flat out that she ain't about meeting anybody. She just wants to feel like people want her every now and then." He laughed.
That kind of self-absorbed behavior may be great for her ego, but on Valentines Day, when she's sitting home drinking a wine cooler alone, how will she feel then? This isn't all on women either, There are a number of men on Facebook who I suspect are doing the same thing (more men than women).
Different people have different agendas when it comes to their personal relationships. I suppose the ultimate goal is to connect with someone... to find that soulmate, that relationship. I suppose that some folks are just bored and passing time... testing the waters, I guess. I tend to think deception and fear play a big part in why people play these "e-games". I'll discuss this more in my next post...
21 comments:
"Dime Piece"... now that's an old school phrase *lol*
This is a hot topic, Keith. Millions of people play out their lives behind computora. For many, I believe it is more satifying than their real lives. And to some degree, I believe it's okay. Many people have no one to talk to. Can you imagine the man or women that never gets hit on?
I personally would never ever try to find love on the Internet. Heck, after we meeting someone in person, sometimes it take months or years to really KNOW them.
Words are very seductive.
You are givin it to the people with this one Keith..Okayyyyyy!
lol
Wow, what a timely post...Just in time for Valentines Day Weekend too!
It is scary how some people get so attached to the internet and these dating and social networking sites..It becomes their whole life.
Another on time post keith..you always seem to be right on the pulse of whatever is going on...the mark of a true visionary writer!
Deep! This is a hot topic right now with so many people using social networking sites like twitter and facebook.
I'm with you Keith...In the words of Ashford & Simpson _Give me somethin real."
I agree with Carey Carey..for some of these horribly lonely people, that world they create on social networking sites like Facebook and twitter is more exciting and real than their own pathetic little lives. They don't want to deal in the real world.
Another good one Keith,can't wait to see you break it down further tomorrow.
Your story was funny..She looked more like Mahailia Jackson than Janet Jackson...Hahahahahahahaha!
I have to co-sign with Capn Jack..You definitely are giving it to the people with this post.lol.
It's sad the way people hide behind seemingly everything to keep from touching and being touched.
Oh and yes..this was a very good post!
Good post...This kind of makes me sad..What have we come to as a species? Where are we headed?
I guess you could say that I keep a cyber harem..lolololol...but I use Facebook and twitter to actually meet people and I do meet them.
I like to text a lot...but I'm not into meeting people on line either..I like a face to face meeting..Then ,like you said, the person can't lie to you but so much.
Social Networking sites are okay I guess for some things...but like you said..People do lie and misrepresent themselves a lot...but on the other hand, we do that in real life too.
Deep fam!
Some people on here protest just a bit much..Aint sayin no names!
@Brenda- Aint it the truth girl?-lolol
Social Networking sites are okay I guess for some things.
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