My Breakthrough Christmas

I've been thinking about a particular Christmas that left an impression on me for a while now. For most of my life, my mother and father worked all week, paid bills, took care of us, went to church, went back to work on Mondays, and that was their whole life. I didn't see their lives as being that inviting and I often thought that becoming an adult didn't look all that fun to me. I vowed that I was going to do a little living before I went off into that good night.

My parents, God love 'em, beat me to it. Right around the time I finished college and they neared retirement, they started doing bizzare things... at least, bizzare to what my brother and I were used to them doing. First off, they bought a summer home in Pleasentville, NJ. I didn't know they had the dough, but then I figured they never did anything, so they must have been saving all of that money. Next, they sold that home and bought a permanent home in South Jersey, a little closer to Philly.

This one particular year, they really got crazy and went to California for Christmas! That was unheard of... them actually doing something as a couple and leaving me and my brother out of it. My brother, for his part, went to Pittsburg to have Christmas with his then girlfriend and now, wife's family. This was about two years before I met my future wife, which meant that I was the only one in my immediate family that was going to be home alone in Philly.

You would think that it would be party central... an endless stream of women and revelers running in and out of my house, right? Nada. It was Christmas and most people were making plans to be with their families. I called several people and all of them were either out of town or occupied.

The man next door to me, who was close to 80 years old, was getting more action than I was. I saw at least three women come in with wine and a gift and leave laughing... "Oh Oliver, you are too much." After one woman would leave, another one would show up... laughing and grinning. He was laughing, grinning, and looking at me as if to say... "A young man like you and I'm the one with all the traffic?"

Finally, I called up a young lady who I was kinda seeing, but not very serious about. She invited me to come to her home and spend Christmas Eve with her. She didn't live that far from me, so I took the bus and it let me off at the corner of her block. I enjoyed a delicious dinner with her and her four sisters and I watched them open presents and exchange them with each other. I felt bad because I hadn't brought anything for anyone there.

We sat and talked for hours. Then, after midnight, one by one, her parents, her sisters, and one of her brothers bid us good night. I knew I wasn't going to stay the night and finally, around 2:30am, I bid her good night and began my trek home.

Anyone who lives in Philly, knows that waiting for the #46 bus is like waiting for Moses and the lost tribes of Israel to find the Promise Land. This was in the day time, so you can imagine what the night time was like. I began walking home and it was snowing. At first, lightly... and then, heavy. By the time I got to the corner of my block, wouldn't you know it, the #46 bus whizzed by and I felt like Charlie Brown.

Mmy next door neighbor, that old man I spoke of a few paragraphs above, had a nephew who was about 10-11 years older than me and he was a drunk (I'll call him C.W). C.W. was always getting blasted and falling asleep in some dive... then, he would wake up and find that he had been pick-pocketed. His watch was missing and one time, his expensive new "gators".

I saw C.W. when I was on my way out that night to visit the young lady, which was around 7:00pm, and he was sloppy drunk then. He and I were usually stepping into the house around the same time on weekend nights but tonight, or should I say this morning, I didn't see him but I thought nothing of it. I would find out a few days later, much to my horror, that C.W. had passed out in the street, the snow had covered him, and he had frozen to death. It would be days before he was discovered.

I sat in my living room at 3:00am Christmas morning, alone and feeling sorry for myself. I couldn't believe that not a soul was in the house and I was spending Christmas alone. I couldn't believe it and couldn't deal with it. I fell asleep on the couch and woke up a little later.

Of course, my parents called me that morning to wish me a "Merry Christmas" and I called a few people and talked to them... but it was weird. There were no gifts under the tree, there was no laughter, and if I didn't make my own holiday, this was going to be the absolute worst Christmas of my life. This was what I thought, anyhow.

One of my frat brothers saved the day. I called him to wish him a "Merry Christmas" and somehow, he must have heard the desperation in my voice. He asked me if I wasn't doing anything, if I didn't mind having Christmas dinner with him and his family. I accepted and in a few hours, I was eating another delicious meal, this time with my frat brother, his two sisters, and his parents at their home.

I came home that Christmas night feeling good and feeling as though I had an epiphany. Christmas was about people, relationships, togetherness, and love... not presents and materialistic things, which is what I had been most uptight about... That I hadn't gotten anything for Christmas. I had actually gotten something that year which was more valuable than anything I could have purchased in a store.

The kindness of near strangers had taught me a lesson about giving and opening up one's house to someone in need. The very thing, a young child, born in a manger some thousands of years ago came here to teach humanity. Since that Christmas, which I have gone back and forth calling "the worst" and "the best" Christmas, I have never looked at the holiday the same.

"MERRY CHRISTMAS" TO YOU AND YOUR LOVE ONES!"