Tuesday, December 1, 2009

Tiger In A Box (Allegedly)


You know, the actual news is often times far more bizzare and comical than my imagination can dream up and I have a very vivid imagination. This weekend, Tiger Woods, one of the few black athletes that I don't follow, got himself in a bit of what the English would call a "sticky wicket". (Love those Brits and their suggestive terms!)

On Tuesday, the National Enquirer (that champion of credible journalism) published a story detailing Woods' alleged affair with a New York party girl, who has since hired a lawyer, Gloria Allred to represent her. (Hmmmmmm, looks like an admission of guilt about something at least!) And, while we're at it, can someone define for me just what is a "party girl"? Does she go to a lot of parties? If so, she sounds like a pretty fun person to hang out with!

Getting back to this story, which gets stranger by the minute, TMZ joined the party. TMZ reported that sometime around 2:25 am on Friday, just hours after thanksgiving dinner, Tiger Woods crashed his SUV into a fire hydrant and a tree outside of his home in a gated Florida community.

It's been reported that Tiger's wife used a golf club to smash the back window of his car to get him out. (Some people allege that this is not really why she was wielding the golf club!) Upon emerging from his Escalade, Woods was incoherent. He had lacerations to his lips, blood in his mouth, and scratches on his face. He is only saying that he crashed his car. He didn't say he was drunk, running from an angry wife, or anything. He also says that anything else is a "private matter". I'm willing to give him the benefit of the doubt. How about you? Are you wondering what the "any thing else."is? Of course you are, you're human.

The rumor mill is saying that he cheated on wife, got busted, had an argument with her and wrecked the car (allegedly running from her) but that doesn't mean he's beyond redemption. It doesn't even mean he's a bad guy. But, really now... Do you believe him? Do you know anyone who does? And, that's the issue... not privacy.

Tiger Woods isn't J.D. Salinger. He's the personification of corporate interests... the guy who wants you to buy his soda, his haberdashery, his Nike shoes, and his golf clubs. He's selling you and your kids an image and consumers think they are entitled to know how true or counterfeit that image is. Want my opinion? They aren't. It's just an image and apart from the image is a man who is no different than anyone else. The Corporate sponsers he shills for could care less if he's telling the truth or not. They don't like how this LOOKS. Truth isn't important to them.
Never has been, never will be.

"... The many false, unfounded rumors that are currently circulating about my family and me are irresponsible," said Tiger Woods. If that's the case, then he should sue the National Enquirer instead of dispensing platitudes like... "I'm human and I'm not perfect." That makes him sound guilty of something... something that is being whispered by a few but, so far, hasn't been acknowledged by him, Mrs. Woods, or the alleged "other woman".

In 1976, this same National Enquirer tabloid wrote a story saying that Carol Burnett was drunk and falling out at the White House. She sued them for a couple of million and won. They, to my knowledge, have never written another thing about Carol Burnett. I urge Tiger to sue them and get them off his back. It still won't stop the rumor mill but, officially, it'll put him in the clear and get him out of the box... that box anyway. I can't say anything about any other box he may or may not be in.

Americans have short memories though. And, as I've said before, somebody will do something stupid in a few weeks and this will be all be forgotten. You can make bank on that. You see how fast we've forgotten, health care and Osama Bin Laden, just to name a few IMPORTANT things! You can bet that, unless Mrs Woods swings another five iron, we'll forget about Tiger too!

5 comments:

Don said...

I've read so many different things about what happened with Tiger Woods. I imagine we will never know the truth. I've seen articles which paint a picture of infidelity and domestic violence (Tiger being the victim).

Then, I've ran across one in particular which stated how medications had Woods unable to drive, and I must admit that story sounded somewhat believable.

Agreed - all his sponsors care about is the image. So I expect them to do everything within their power (Tiger, as well) to make sure it remains in a preferred light.

Carol Burnett got paid.

Arlene said...

Hey cuz. I don't follow golf or Tiger's career, but I do believe that Tiger's business is Tiger's business and snoopers should leave him and his family alone. Whatever goes on between married couples is private. If we want to buy things based on Tiger's endorsements then we will. Whether or not his wife beats him should not be a consideration. And I'd say the same if he were the abuser. Either one of them could walk away and not miss one penny.

Brenda said...

Come on Keith,We KNOW why she was weilding that golf club!lololol

12kyle said...

It ain't what you know...it's what you can prove!"- Denzel (Training Day)

If his wife don't have pics, I ain't admitting to a DAMN thang. LOL

E.M.H. said...

More information has come out about Tiger and his mistresses . . . but that's between him and his wife. He had admitted to his affairs and apologized. He does not owe the world and apology. He a man and human, he does make mistakes. He did not stand before God and make a commitment to us and the world.




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