Fortunate Son

On May 30, 2008, my mother departed this life. For the past few days, I have been busy taking care of funeral arrangements, hosting relatives and friends of the family, as well as trying to honor my mother’s final wishes to the best of my ability. I haven't had time to really grieve, nor have I started to miss her the way I know that I eventually will.

If I can reflect on one or two things, I can say that she spent her life teaching me how to live in the world and how to be a man... but, her final lesson to me was how to die. My mother survived breast cancer a few years ago. Last year, she developed colon cancer. After two operations and much chemo, it looked as though she might just pull through. After yet another operation in early May, she sat us all down and told us the grim news... they had found more cancer and that it was "inoperable."

Unknown to any of us at the time, she signed herself out of the hospital and went home. She began an all natural health food diet and she was up and about... walking and joking with everyone as though everything was going to be alright. She never allowed me or anyone else around her to be sad and she always made sure that all of her visitors were comfortable and laughing. She kept saying,"I'm not going nowhere... I haven't packed yet."

I never saw any fear, denial, or self pity. She left here as she lived... fiesty, on her own terms, and with great courage. For that, I am fortunate. What a great example of how to live and how to die.

She passed away in her sleep early last Friday morning. I am just too proud of her life to shed any tears right now and although it may not be popular or masculine for some, I will say that I loved her and felt very fortunate and honored to be her son.